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So Here’s where it all begins. I’m sitting in a coffee shop called Intelligentsia in the Lakeview part of Chicago. I did an interesting exercise a few days ago from somewhere that has brought me to this point, but first; A little History Lesson for those of you who may soon be playing the home game.
Well, we’ll see. If I try to structure this writing too much I’ll lose focus. 😉 Meanwhile earlier I saw a guy sitting on a bench; actually more like lieing on a bench. Pretty comfortable, right? Not this guy. He previously was sitting on the chair next to me (couple of uncomfortable, make shift “Trendy” benches built into very sturdy but uncomfortable (did I say that already?) couch chairs, with cushions on them – Very hip, I’m sure!) but as soon as I sat down, he moved to the same style couch a few feet away in a corner.
he lounged there, sipping his ice water, but soon he was sitting up. A couple minutes later I noticed him laughing to himself about some joke in his mind that meant something to him and my own mind, as it often does, gave me a glimpse of what he was thinking. I may or may not tell you later what I think, but it’s…
…Oops, hold on a second. I’ll be right back. Beautiful! I just remembered I was getting ready to download Frankie Knuckles Essential Mix from Radio 1 a few years back.
Sorry, where were we? Oh yes so what prompted me to write this blog, and once more; what the hell is this blog about (and will YOU be able to handle my Tantalizing Tangents that I tempestuously toss into my tales)?
So I have always dabbled in writing, but have never taken is seriously. Why? Why, the answer to that question is simple. The same reason you put aside the things that you really want to do but never quite get around to. Life…
But let’s be fair. Is it Life? Or is it more that certain things in life are always demanding your attention when that thing you most want to do is drifting upon your thoughts, beckoning you to relax, let go, and take part in it? You see, I love to write. I love to live life. I love to share my experiences, but – Buh’hut (as my friend Austin the Lesbian might write in one of her texts – and one day I will share with you her writings – I promise that, but I don’t know how or when. (did I just Label or Stereotype? yeaaaaa maybe I did… but to me and to you the lable may have completely different connotations so for the purposes of this blog, it might do you some good to not thrust upon me what you think I’m thinking when indeed they are thoughts Born into your own head (A gentleman just walked by me, I have seen him before in this coffeeshop. His Vibe says, “I want people to like me and notice me but I don’t know how to get that attention. His eyes fell upon me with total disdain, ever so briefly. He sits and looks around and watches people, drinking his tea, deep into the thoughts of his mind which I think, by looking into his eyes, are a mixture of desire and fear. BUT that is human nature. Desire and Fear, Fear and Desire. Battling for dominance. Is what I want worth the risk to get it?
I would Love to have lively discussions with people around me and experience the love and life of those sharing with me and sharing myself with them, but What if they don’t like me? What if they are Unkind to me? So he sits and gazes with a look of slight longing in his eyes, telling himself stories about what he sees. Some are friendly, some are filled with envy, ego and resentment for what he THINKS the other person has, all the while trying to figure out how he is comparibly in a better place.
What that means is, next time you see someone you feel you want to talk to but you are afraid to do so, do it anyway. You may be surprised, disappointed, glad, relieved, pissed or something but what you wont be is the person that let that part of your life pass you by.
The gentleman had the luck of some guy sitting next to him with an open tabloid. He commented to the gentlement perusing the paper saying, “Oh so they found him?” referring to some story on one of the pages and now he is taking his opportunity to try and talk to the gentleman but it looks as if it has trailed off, while the gentleman resumes him readings. But he keeps trying (and yes, if you are an english grammar major I understand the concept of not starting my sentences with the word “but”. But I oh so love to on occasion…)))
As you can see, my writing will be a little hard to follow sometimes, but my belief is, that’s one of the things that makes it SO Damn interesting to read, definitely it is interesting to write.
…Buh’hut… well as the tangent above might explain, sometimes fear gets in the way. I could write today, but I’m broke and I don’t have a job so I better look for work. I could go work out, but then I ‘ll be tired after and wont have any energy to do the things I want such as… Work out?
So Think about the last 24 hours. How many times have you said to yourself in your mind, “I could do ______.” but then excuses are reasons or fear follow the thought closely behind and say something else that makes you quickly decide against it. This is not a self help blog. Or is it?
I have no structure, therefor I can structure my writings with precision. I have no theme, therefor the theme can take care of itself. That is the magic of what this blog will be, and I will ALWAYS encourage the reader (ahem.. That’s you.) to participate at will and comment.
This is the part of this post that says to me, “Stop writing this post and start another.”
- Too Many Thoughts (blackauthor.wordpress.com)
- Deepest Fear? The Blank Page. (michelleh7040.wordpress.com)
- What to Write About? (librachronicles.wordpress.com)