Effing Rice!

Kung Fu Chefs

Image via Wikipedia

So I got about half way through a pretty cool article today at the Starbucks I was at.  It started to rain and I was getting hungry.  So what did I decide to eat?

White rice.  MAN,  I love a big pile of white rice and maybe some soy sauce or a little butter or salt.  Natural comfort food.  This came when I was younger and I watched a lot of Kung-Fu movies.  Who am I kidding, I still watch kung-fu movies.  And not the super modern day kung fu masterpieces like House of Flying Daggers or any of that blah blah.  No, mine are much crappier, dirtier, and dubbed in.  Countless of stand up comedians have had jokes in their sets that were about these movies.  The plots are terrible and I am almost positive, after watching countless numbers of them, that the English translations that the voice-over experts did were completely made up.

If you never had the luxury of seeing one of these movies, you’re not sure what I’m talking about, you need a refresher or you just want to watch one, don’t you worry!  Uncle Ronnie’s got your back.  I will provide!

Here’s the kicker.  I loved kung-fu movies so much that I ended up taking martial arts.  I would train 3 hours a day or more and maybe 3 times a week or more.  My diet consisted heavily on Pizza, Stromboli and White Rice (usually the Instant stuff in the boil-n-bags) with a little salt and butter.

What do you think happened?  Funny thing is, I got really good and ended up winning the AAU National Championships one year for sparring in my belt and age group.  That was pretty cool!  So it’s stuck in my head.  I know now that I am in my thir…  ahem… twenties that now all it does is taste really good, make me retain water, turns into fat and immediately makes me too tired to do anything really effective.

What happened to it being my food of Champions?!  So my point is, I wanted to write some other post, but instead I wrote this.  But at least you can watch a cool kung-fu movie now.



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