Sometimes I Just Want to Play Video Games

Tsod:

I can be so lame. I have all these grandiose schemes, plans, dreams and desires: I want to be famous. I want to write tons of blog posts. I want to seduce women. I want to be successful at business. I want to tweak my blog, and seo it, and connect it to facebook, and all the other random blogosphere social networking sites that can skyrocket my blog to the top. I want to study and read about my favorite topic.

Right now, I am trying to study three different styles of seduction. That’s right. There are schools for this type of stuff, just like Martial Arts (or I guess these days we should say BJJ or MMA or something). The schools of thought I am working on are as follows:

1. El Topo (Steve Mayeda) – A master of teaching guys how to express the good and bad qualities of themselves, to create deep connections with women. No pickup lines or bullshit here, this is all about being more YOU but in a good way. He teaches you how to go from light conversation to deeply seductive and sexual, and I mean dirty; “Do you like how my cock feels inside you? Can you feel how big you’re making it get inside your pussy!? Do you like that?”

2. Woodhaven (Vin DeCarlo – He doesn’t go by Woodhaven anymore but too bad. I like nicknames) – He has done an extensive program called Pandora’s Box which breaks up women into different types of Categories. Very handy. Did you know that you can approach some women with, “You are so sexy… I would kick myself in the ass all day if I didn’t come over and meet you.” and they will totally appreciate it?  However, saying the exact same thing in the exact same way (and I mean being genuine – not using a line) to a different type of woman may be too much for her and she may not be diggin on it.  Different women you meet have different qualities, personalities and thus, approaches to seduction that they will respond to.

Yes, this should go without saying but listen, women. Most guys do not know this. That guy who smiles wolfishly at you and says, “Nice ass!” or even better yet, “If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together.” is saying that because he doesn’t know what the fuck else to say, and is hoping it works.  He most likely says the same thing to every woman he comes across. It is a shotgun approach that most men are left with because we can’t figure you confusing and frustratingly mysterious women out. But now, thanks to Pandora’s Box I can finally fucking Calibrate for once and know what cards to play while going in.

3. Tantralogic (James Amoureux which I know is not really his last name) – He has a workbook program I have only dabbled with so far that is like keeping a detailed account of my progress as far as goals, mostly specific to seduction. It’s like a journal that I can use to find out what my negative and positive points are with regards to my goals. That way I can focus on a plan of action to tweak my personality or ‘game’ or whatever, and thus really find the type of quality interactions, relationships and sexual experiences that I thrive for. For example; using his workbook I have discovered 1 of the three goals I want to work on is, “Satisfy the Deviant.”

In essence I have a deviant side with some wild fantasies that is just begging to be explored. I actually believe part of the reason I created this blog was to explore that side so in the future…. So get ready for a Wild Ride!

Just for a Plug, T-Loc (his name on the streets)  is also the Author of: How to Start a Kinky Relationship.  A book about, I hope you guessed it (hint: the book’s subject is hidden cleverly in it’s title).

Oh what a Tangent. You probably forgot what my point was to all of this. While I have all of these things I would like to do, study, explore and delve into, sometimes I just want to play videogames.

I just came across this game called Potions and Swords (I swear my blog is not monetized and none of these bastards I am “puff piecing” in this article even know I am doing so.) on my favorite, free game website: Kongregate.com

I’m sure many of you (assuming you’re a big dork like me) have played a role playing game where you, at some point in the game, have to visit the trusty shop-keeper and trade goods like armor, swords, axes or whatever. Sometimes that shop-keeper might even have a quest or two for you. Well someone came up with the ingenious idea of creating a game where you ARE the shopkeeper. That’s it. You own the shop, you hire people to create your goods, you sell your goods to guards, warriors, barbarians, thieves, priests and the rest of the adventurers that happen upon your shop, and that’s the jist of it. The thing is, is that it’s addictive. I lost yesterday; my shop went bankrupt, but I totally wanna go to a coffeeshop and play some more (since the dame game requires me to connect to a server).

So that’s what I plan on doing this evening. I am going to go up to the coffeeshop, grab a seat, connect and post this and then waste my life playing this dame game. I’m sure I will get bored soon enough, but for now….

Sidecar:

I just really felt the need to express this here. I have had two thoughts about my themesongs of the day. Should I post songs that are somehow relevant to the topic at hand, or should I just post songs I like. You may notice that this particular themesong has absolutely nothing to do with anything in this post I have written.

I think the answer is, depends on the day. Sometimes I will have a song in mind and say, “Yes! this song is the themesong to this post. Other times a song will come on at an appropriate time and say to me, “Ronnie, please share me with the fifteen people who read your blog.” (soon to be 1000 once I have a publisher, my seo is tweaked, I have written my first novel and I have connected my blog to all the social networking sites out there. I’ll get to that later, after I play this video game real quick, then study seduction, seduce more women, have at least one or two solid women I am dating in my life (yes, at the same time, silly) make sure I have a good flow of money coming in doing something I love, and…. Oh bloody hell.

This is Insanity!

Tsod:

Insanity workout:

Yep. Thats right. Day 5 is today. I have the program and actually did it half way through last year, but ended up with the flu (non-related) and then doing Christmas Vacation at the same time and then couldn’t get back on with it. Why?

Before I explain that, let me tell you a little about this. It is hard! No no…. HARD! This workout has the usual suspects in the videos who are in far better shape than you and I (unless you’re one of them… Then fuck you!) . . . (nothing personal, but most of the time in the Videos I tell Shaun T that. Shaun T says, “Good job people!! That’s Insanity!!” and I feebly lift up my middle finger, gesturing towards the computer screen and say, “Fuck you…”), but the thing about these workouts are; even these super-in-shape motherfuckers tire out during the workouts and have to stop.

I know it’s psychological. I understand they did not edit that stuff out to let “Average Ronnie” know that it’s ok to suck and stop 50 times during the workout, but at the same time it is welcome to see that because this shit is hard. Trust me. I bet you can find the “Fit Test” video somewhere online. Try it. I dare you. You will be dizzy, tired and sweaty after you do it (unless you are already a super-fit mo-fo and then go back and read the first sentence in parentheses in the previous paragraph 🙂 ). So it’s very hard.

But I have gotten a little fat lately and my energy was just starting to fail me. I was getting tired all the time, as well as feeling like my clothes just don’t fit me the way I want them to. When I want to buy new clothes I actually don’t because I don’t want to have a closet full of “Fat Clothes”. I want to have cool, snazzy outfits that I can wear and accentuate what I already look like, NOT outfits I wear that attempt to hide me and disguise me and at the same time make me look good.

So I have a few shirts in my closet I want to actually grow into (backwards of course). Let’s face it. I am OK at dieting but I love restaurants and the occasional beer, wine or cocktail so the whole concept of eating super healthy (and I mean ridiculously healthy – strict diet plans) is just not happening. Now that doesn’t mean I wont throw together a kickass Chicken or Turkey Salad, but it’s going to be Huge and it’s going to contain something along the lines of the following:

1. A whole chicken breast (probably at least the size of my hand)
2. Spinach
3. Romaine
4. Regular Lettuce
5. Onion (a little Red or Vidalia)
6. Apple (Quarter of an apple sliced thin and placed strategically on top of the salad)
7. Dried Cranberries
8. Walnuts
9. Bacon Bits (just a little and usually the store bought kind – not actual bacon I made at home)
10. Possibly something random. Dressing is not something I use a lot of. If I do I kind of very lightly put a few drizzles or whatever on the salad. Definitely not into the whole “Drench my salad in Ranch” kinda thing. Random could also include sprouts or sun dried tomatoes or whatever.

But the point is, I want to work out too. Diet helps a lot, but exercise is important. Really I feel a lot better when I am exercising but I have been cutting my own throat during my workout stints and here’s why. I have a competitive nature. When I have worked out in the past I would really push myself and be super competitive with myself to get results. I would be super critical and so on and soon I would burn out.

This time I feel different about it. I think I just want to work out and get in shape. I really could care less about the results and I think that’s the key. People stop working out because they are battling themselves about it. They want results and they realize attaining those results are going to be hard. They lose themselves in the results and do not enjoy the process.  This constant battle builds inside them and soon workouts become a TASK.  Like, “ahhhh fuck!  I have to do that workout today…  Ok..  Maybe later.”

I think it goes back to one of my previous posts about seduction. We should be doing these things, not for the end result, but to make NOW better. We should be enjoying the process and really want to work out just to be healthier and work out. My body forced me into this. It was actually on thanksgiving. I didn’t have the usual Giant thanksgiving dinner; my family is too far away and my friends didn’t get here till 1am, so no reason to have a giant feast. But I did feel this urge to just get up and start this insanity workout. It was like my body was like, “dude, fuck this sloppy shit. Let’s go!” and finally I just got up without planning and started the Fit Test.

So the point is, I am going to keep the same attitude about this. I want to work out. I’m going to work out. My ego will probably try and fuck up that whole process by telling me about results, and how my clothes still don’t fit right and how this and that and blah blah bullshit, but I am going to totally take the ego out of this whole process and just work out to work out and feel better.

If I work out and I’m still a big fat ass, then who cares. I bet you I will be a fat ass that feels a whole lot healthier. If my clothes don’t loosen up – – – who cares? I will have more energy and feel better about myself since I have a stronger frame and a little endorphin rush every day. So I’m going to just do this different. No pressure. No – “I’m doing this to lose weight and I should look like the guys in the video!” Plus a little motivator in the back of my mind is, “Long, power sex!” Of course! What else would be the greatest motivator I could have? I want to have Longer sex. I want to power through and make love to women I meet for far longer periods of time.  Afterall, I know for most guys it may not be a big deal, but I love giving pleasure to a woman as much as I like getting it. There was a Sexy gal I once knew who swears up and down, “Remember that time we fucked for 8 hours?”

Now I don’t know if we really did but I seem to remember it was a very long time. And maybe back in those days it was fueled a little by extacy and marijuana but I was also in far better shape back then. I want to be able to have sex for much, much longer. But still. That’s in the back of my mind. It’s not going to come to the forefront and fuck me over like, “I’m still fat!” or “My clothes still don’t fit right.” will. Some people are motivated by pain and some are motivated by pleasure. I think it’s when I focus too much on either of those that I lose interest, or get burnt out. I am motivated by only one thing – the present.

I’m just going to work out, Bhagavad Gita style: Action for the purpose of Action; not for the Fruits of Action. Let’s see what happens, shall we?  The fun part about this is I am in pain, my muscles hurt, and I am terrible when I do these workouts but for some reason, doing these workouts with my new attitude feels like Christmas Morning as a little kid, right before you know you get to open the presents under the tree.

Sidecar:


ARJUNA:

“At one time, O Krishna, thou praisest the renunciation of action, and yet again its right performance. Tell me with certainty which of the two is better.”

KRISHNA:

“Renunciation of action and devotion through action are both means of final emancipation, but of these two devotion through action is better than renunciation. He is considered to be an ascetic who seeks nothing and nothing rejects, being free from the influence of the ‘pairs of opposites,’ O thou of mighty arms; without trouble he is released from the bonds forged by action. Children only and not the wise speak of renunciation of action and of right performance of action as being different. He who perfectly practices the one receives the fruits of both, and the place which is gained by the renouncer of action is also attained by him who is devoted in action. That man seeth with clear sight who seeth that the Sankhya and the Yoga doctrines are identical. But to attain to true renunciation of action without devotion through action is difficult, O thou of mighty arms; while the devotee who is engaged in the right practice of his duties approacheth the Supreme Spirit in no long time. The man of purified heart, having his body fully controlled, his senses restrained, and for whom the only self is the Self of all creatures, is not tainted although performing actions. The devotee who knows the divine truth thinketh ‘I am doing nothing’ in seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, eating, moving, sleeping, breathing; even when speaking, letting go or taking, opening or closing his eyes, he sayeth, ‘the senses and organs move by natural impulse to their appropriate objects.’ Whoever in acting dedicates his actions to the Supreme Spirit and puts aside all selfish interest in their result is untouched by sin, even as the leaf of the lotus is unaffected by the waters. The truly devoted, for the purification of the heart, perform actions with their bodies, their minds, their understanding, and their senses, putting away all self-interest. The man who is devoted and not attached to the fruit of his actions obtains tranquillity; whilst he who through desire has attachment for the fruit of action is bound down thereby.  The self-restrained sage having with his heart renounced all actions, dwells at rest in the ‘nine gate city of his abode,’  neither acting nor causing to act.

“The Lord of the world creates neither the faculty of acting, nor actions, nor the connection between action and its fruits; but nature prevaileth in these. The Lord receives no man’s deeds, be they sinful or full of merit.

The truth is obscured by that which is not true, and therefore all creatures are led astray. But in those for whom knowledge of the true Self has dispersed ignorance, the Supreme, as if lighted by the sun, is revealed. Those whose souls are in the Spirit, whose asylum is in it, who are intent on it and purified by knowledge from all sins, go to that place from which there is no return.

“The illuminated sage regards with equal mind an illuminated, selfless Brahmin, a cow, an elephant, a dog, and even an outcaste who eats the flesh of dogs. Those who thus preserve an equal mind gain heaven even in this life, for the Supreme is free from sin and equal-minded; therefore they rest in the Supreme Spirit. The man who knoweth the Supreme Spirit, who is not deluded, and who is fixed on him, doth not rejoice at obtaining what is pleasant, nor grieve when meeting what is unpleasant. He whose heart is not attached to objects of sense finds pleasure within himself, and, through devotion, united with the Supreme, enjoys imperishable bliss. For those enjoyments which arise through the contact of the senses with external objects are wombs of pain, since they have a beginning and an end; O son of Kunti, the wise man delighteth not in these. He who, while living in this world and before the liberation of the soul from the body, can resist the impulse arising from desire and anger is a devotee and blessed. The man who is happy within himself, who is illuminated within, is a devotee, and partaking of the nature of the Supreme Spirit, he is merged in it. Such illuminated sages whose sins are exhausted, who are free from delusion, who have their senses and organs under control, and devoted to the good of all creatures, obtain assimilation with the Supreme Spirit.  Assimilation with the Supreme Spirit is on both sides of death for those who are free from desire and anger, temperate, of thoughts restrained; and who are acquainted with the true Self.

“The anchorite who shutteth his placid soul away from all sense of touch, with gaze fixed between his brows; who maketh the breath to pass through both his nostrils with evenness alike in inspiration and expiration, whose senses and organs together with his heart and understanding are under control, and who hath set his heart upon liberation and is ever free from desire and anger, is emancipated from birth and death even in this life. Knowing that I, the great Lord of all worlds, am the enjoyer of all sacrifices and penances and the friend of all creatures, he shall obtain me and be blessed.”

Thus in the Upanishads, called the holy Bhagavad-Gita, in the science of the Supreme Spirit, in the book of devotion, in the colloquy between the Holy Krishna and Arjuna, stands the Fifth Chapter, by name —

Renunciation of fruits of Action

Sidecar II:

Sidecar III:

Always remember to put a title on the post before you schedule it for posting.  ;p

Round Two!

Tsod off:

Ok ok ok…. So I realized something that was pretty interesting about my ability to write. I recently decided that I wanted to have an excuse to make myself get out the the house so I can force (encourage…) myself to be more social. I decided I didn’t want internet in my apartment any more. (Of course what really happened is I couldn’t afford the cable bill so now I’m without internet… Don’t tell my ego that.) But here’s the thing about that. When there are a lot of people around, my mind is distracted and I can write pretty much nothing.

Go figure… You may notice it has been a while since I posted a nice little report like this. 😉 So then I decided, here’s what I have to do.

1. Write my stuff at home all by my lonesome and then go upload it later when I’m sipping coffee.
2. Make a little list of things I need to write and then keep writing them when I am inspired. (so many things are happening but I haven’t been posting about them. I think this blog would be far more interesting if I just had the automatic ability to record the events in my life and was able to generate posts automatically off of said events.)
3. Finish posting the stuff I start writing instead of letting it get lost in the ether of non-posting. (For instance, and yes this is sad, for instance, I have a very sad update about Mr Poop that, while writing this actually brings slight tears to my eyes. I have written a lot of it but wanted to make sure it is written nicely and well done before posting it.)
4. Don’t make unnecessary lists like this. 😉

So it’s time to get back on. I don’t want to make this post about all the stuff that’s been happening. Rather, I would like to make this post about – “Hey, Ronnie. Get the fuck back on the Bandwagon and start posting your shit again.”

Round 2! (hey. I actually think maybe writing that list shortened my post.)