Yesterday I woke up. I wanted to do some grocery shopping. That was it. That was my goal. Get groceries for my empty fridge. Big deal? Not really. But I think most people go to their favorite grocery store and just kinda get everything at once, they pile it up, fill their cart or basket with whatever they need and go from there. I can’t do this. I sometimes do, but more often than not I am hitting up about 4 or 5 different venues to do my shopping. I was actually feeling pretty tired yesterday, but still just couldn’t fathom the idea of going to one place.
(Sometimes when I wake up it might take me an hour or two to figure out whether my sleep was great or not. I might start to get drowsy pretty quickly and get funky headaches if I need a little more rest. Yesterday and Today I did the same remedy for that which is a General Wellness audio from Belleruth Naparstek, kinda like Guided Imagery. It’s basically hypnosis, and it gets me totally tranced out and catnaps me so after about a half hour I wake up with a little reboost and can go on my way. But before my little reboost yesterday…)
I hit up this new Walmart Express near my home. Yuck! Definitely ghetto inside, and I doubt I’ll find much reason to go back. Then off to Target. Still I realized I was getting more and more tired, but to my dismay I found myself in the frozen foods section chatting up this cute little Asian gal about vegetables. But how come I can’t have a discussion anymore with women without lots of smiles, blushes and glows being thrown my way? I don’t get it.
I did an experiment recently with a buddy of mine who wanted to learn to talk to women he would see from day to day. What happened was pretty interesting. He would see women all around while we were walking through the city, and some of them he liked. What I was trying to show him, is that despite all the cultural bullshit that assumes that talking to strangers is somehow evil and weird, it is, In Fact, very normal. It’s not the act of doing it, it’s HOW you do it.
The problem, of course is, that he was nervous approaching these women. That nervousness is two things, VERY normal, and VERY contagious. Ya, fucked up when you think about it. When we see someone that fires us up inside the natural, outdated, cave man response our bodies give us is to get all nervous, and flood ourselves with all these thoughts of how things could go extremely bad. Interestingly enough it NEVER goes away no matter how many times you approach that random stranger that you find attractive. So what happens? People just avoid talking to strangers they find attractive. Women are smart. They have this game down to a mad science. If they see a guy they like they do things like eye contact, or they may position themselves closer to the guy, or walk by the guy a couple times, or give him subtle signals to suggest she is interested. Guys DO NOT always notice these signals that women think are so obvious. Maybe life has changed throughout the centuries and at a more primitive time these signals were blaringly obvious, but with time these signals have become lost to most men. So that does not always work. And even if the guy likes the girl he may be too nervous to approach her.
How do I know? Because I just tested my theory. I saw a girl I thought I might like and my brain became preoccupied with all this bullshit about I should approach and talk to her, but it would be weird and awkward, and not the right time and place, and what would she think, and what would the people around me and her think, and would she like me or scream at the top of her lungs, “Fuck off you fucking Creep!”, or whatever….
But the only way to really find out is to go do it. I was even a little creepy and awkward in my approach. I sat in the empty chair across from her and alternately stared at her with a little grin on my face and at other random places around the room. Soon I caught her making very fast eye contact but as soon as my eyes caught her she looked away. But the funny thing is I approached her anyway and she was still warm and smiley. I feel like I could have stayed longer but at closer inspection I didn’t feel like she was doing it for me so after a minute of cool conversation, even telling her I was trying to decide whether or not she was cute (not in a dicky way, in a fun way), I politely ejected myself. However, NONE of the warnings my mind gave me happened. Not even close.
Oh… So about the experiment with my buddy. To get him used to talking to random women I said, “Go ask them what time it is.” No no, it wasn’t going to get the girl’s heart a fluttering and making her desire him madly. It was to get him over his fear of talking to random women he was attracted to SO when he finds himself in a situation where he spots a woman he REALLY likes he would be better prepared. Alas, he was still getting the shit beat out of him by his fear so I decided to demonstrate.
But here’s the interesting thing. When I went up and started asking women, “Hey… what time is it?, several of the conversations became very obviously flirty very quickly. These women, on some level, could sense “the wolf” as I like to call it. The wolf used to scare women back in the day when I was just horny and not so smooth, but now women like the more charming and witty and refined wolf. Go figure. My buddy said to me, “I hate you.” it was so obvious.
So the same thing happened to me when I was in the frozen food isle at the Target. I made fun of the Asian gal for taking one package of frozen vegetables, putting them back, and replacing them for another package. I asked her, “What? Do you know something I don’t?” and soon she was smiling and very vibrantly flirting. There is a huge, obvious difference between smiling politely and vibrantly smiley and flirty. She even was blushing a little… (to be continued)
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I’ve decided I might need to start splitting up some of my posts into more than 1 part, since sometimes I love you long time. Yep, I completely realize I can go on and on about stuff. That’s the danger of stream of consciousness writing. I don’t even know what I’m writing half time time and before I realize it I’m like, “holy shit this is long!”