I have discovered a growing epidemic amongst young women today. This epidemic is growing at staggering proportions and is creating concern against guys like me. It is that more and more women, in staggering numbers, are having their phones destroyed by dropping them in the toilet. I just read an email from a girl I have been chatting with, whom I gave my number to. She said, and I quote:
I was planning on texting you but my phone met an untimely death. It rests in a watery grave (ie the toilet).
Now my question to this statement is, “How come so many women drop their phones in the toilet? What the fuck rare you ladies doing in there with your phones? Do guys know that you are doing this?” I kind of think it takes a lot of effort to drop ones phone into the toilet, unless the phone is dangerously close to the open bowl for some mysterious and unknown reason, which prompts me to ask, “Do I want to know what that reason could be?”
All sorts of visuals come to mind of how these phones could meet their watery demise at the hands of these women and some random toilet bowl somewhere. This should be a growing concern among Americans everywhere. I think, perhaps, someone should try and develop an “Aqua” app that is designed so that when a woman’s phone is dropped into the toilet, it transforms the phone into a mini-submarine until the phone can be safely retrieved.
Better yet, I think cell-phone companies should start adding a secret video camera app to phones, that is triggered when a woman’s phone gets too close to a toilet bowl. It would start recording the events that lead up to the phone ending up in the toilet bowl, and send them to a database for a specialized panel of experts to research and investigate. That way we can put an end to this senseless epidemic plaguing our nation.
Beware! Be Vigilant and be on the lookout!
- Cell phone in the toilet! (natclermont.blogspot.com)
- Anderson Cooper’s Cell Phone Is Covered in Poop [Video] (gawker.com)
- Toilet Texting? Keep Your Cell Phone to Yourself! (jparadisirn.com)