A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer with Sleep Apnea Part IV

(continued from A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer with Sleep Apnea Part III)

I went home… And I slepppptttt…  My body and mind was worn out from lack of rest.  I lay down on my bed and soon was in dreamland.

I think I woke up around midnight.  I had slept the rest of the day away, and the problem with OSA and a nap like this is, the inconvenience of sleeping at odd hours and, thus, waking up at even odder hours…  But here’s the funny thing about fortune, it doesn’t play by the rules of time is irrelevant.  I was up and blurry eyed but feeling good.  A nap like this after feeling like hell, always seems to be rather refreshing.

I kinda just milled around for about 20 minutes or so and then at around 12:30 or 1 am I got a text.  “Message Received.” said my phone, in a female voice.  I checked it.  It was from one of the girls I sent the “Tonight?” text to earlier in the day.  She was a girl I will refer to as, Whole Foods Boobs, or WFB for short.

She was an attractive girl I met one night at Whole Foods, obviously, and if I remember she had appeared to (and said she had) huge boobs.  That’s all about my style.  Her text read one word, “Berlin.”  Berlin is a bar that’s about a 5 minute Walk from my door.  I waited a few minutes and said, “That’s funny, because my house is only a block away.  Come over here.”

And this started this tiny little text battle of me trying to cockily convince her to come over and her trying to coyly convince me to come up to Berlin.  Keep in mind, I was just pushing the boundaries trying to see how far I could go.  I never even went on a date with this girl, and we only knew each other from about 15 minutes of conversation at whole foods, and I expected her to just come straight over.  Also, I figured if I gave in too easy and went there straight away, that wouldn’t necessarily be the best impression.  I needed to at least make her work.

Back and forth we went, and finally she texted me something like, “How bout being more of a man, and less of an ass.  If not, whatev”

I like that text.  Challenge accepted.  She meant business.  So I got dressed up in the snazziest outfit I could throw together in about 5 minutes, quickly did my hair and out the door I went.

To – Berlin.

I had never stepped foot in this place before, even though it was only a block from my house.  The obvious reason is because it’s a Gay Dance Club.  That kinda means that there’s not really much reason for me to go up there.  Not to mention that, in the gay world, I am pretty much a hot commodity.  I’m not even what I consider that great looking.  I have style, yes, but I’m most definitely NOT the good looking, ultra fit, magazine model.  Sorry to disappoint any of my readers who thought otherwise.  Sexy?  Hot?  Yes.  But If you saw me I’m not so sure you would think that I was pulling women with my super attractive good looks.  As a matter of fact, I don’t think I photogenic at all.  I pretty much can’t stand most pictures of myself, but I do think I can put together a pretty cool, sexy look in the mirror.  So there’s that.  But apparently Gay Guys think so too.  If I go to gay venues it is a 100% certainty that I will be approached and hit on.  It never fails.  Gay guys ALWAYS hit on me.

But I had to weather the storm and go anyway because, here was my prize.  So Inside the club, Berlin, I went.  And soon, to my disappointment, I discovered that my target, WFB, was pretty piss ass drunk.  Shit.  I love sex, but I have backed out of so much drunken sex it’s not even funny.  I feel, inside, that part of seduction is playing on even terms.  I do not seduce drunk chicks, if I can avoid it.  Buzzed is ok.  Sharing a buzz is ok.  But, even to the point of once girl saying to me, “I wanna be fucked,” while she was drunk and in my bed, but then saying, “No” when I asked her if she wanted me to fuck her; and then a completely separate occasion where a shitfaced stripper spent the night at my house and DEMANDED we fuck, and despite her claims of, “I know how all you men are..  If I drop my panties right now you’re going to fuck me.” I do not fuck girls who are ultra trashed.  It just doesn’t interest me.

But then again, I am all about letting the buzz wear off, and my girl was only drinking water when I got there so I assumed she was in recovery mode.  Regardless, I decided to play gentleman and hang out for a bit and for the most part we just cuddled on this black, built in bench/dance floor thingy.  Finally after a while the bouncer came over and, very politely, asked me if I could be cool and take my chick out of the bar.  She wasn’t being obnoxious, but like I said, she looked pretty trashed.

So I talked with her and a couple of her friends and was fully intent on getting her a cab and going home.  So I walked her outside in the cold and she snapped-to rather quickly.  Sometimes the cold can do that.  She seemed to be fine after a moment walking on her own and wasn’t even stumbling really.  I had zero alcohol in me to make her stumble disappear so I was like, “Ok.  She’s a bartender and probably has good recovery.”

So I told her I was gonna get her a cab and her response was, “I want a burrito.”  (Yes, that really was her response, 35.)  I told her there were no mexican restaurants close that were open, but Clark’s was right by us.  So she headed towards Clark’s and I went with her.

Ok, she seemed to be coming out of it quick and maybe some food would help her, but like I said, she was recovering Fast!  We sat in the diner and talked and chatted for a while.  We talked about this and that, and eventually I geared the topic towards sexuality and how that’s a big part of me.  She told me she had a hard time having an orgasm.  I told her a lot of girls say that and it’s bullshit.

All I know is I went into a little story I tell about my life experiences and how certain elements of my life geared me to really take an interest in giving women orgasms.  I may share that little story with you sometime, but now is not the day.  Let’s just say that the FIRST thing women do, when they hear a guy say he can give good orgasms is doubt him.  There are, apparently, a shitload of guys out there telling girls they are good in the sack when, in fact, they are not.  It’s almost an epidemic.  So, I tell my story about WHY I’m good and then it’s up to her to decide if she wants to find out or not.

We kept eating, and after I finished my story she had a look of attention on her face and was silent.  So I figured I would put out the offer, “We could always go back to my place, you know…, and listen to some music.”

“I’m not going to your place,” she shot back.  Denied!  So we finished up our friendly little chat, paid the bill and got up so I could walk her to her cab and call it a night.

We walk to the corner and I hail  a passing cab, and she gets inside.   “Have a good night,” I say to her, getting ready to close the door.

“Aren’t you coming with me?” was her response…

Paydirt!

(conclusion coming soon…)


Sidecar:

Today’s Panera Bread Experience. . .

I really tried finding the most non distracting coffeeshop to go to, today.  I didn’t want girls, or (oh hell… there;s a sexy milf I must go meet… brb…  Oops.  She’s on a date.  She’s with some really old dude, who looks like the reason she’s with him is that he most likely has money.  Upon closer inspection she’s a little chubby, but not gross or fat or anything.  And guess what?  She has huge boobs.  She made the guy go grab both of their food, even though they were these huge bowls that looked like it was a little difficult for the guy to carry on the trays with one hand each.  Then once he got back it looked like she sent him back up to grab something else.  Maybe that was him getting something for himself though.  I have headphones on when I’m listening to this so I can’t hear the conversation.

By the way, she isn’t that hot.  She’s ok.  But those boobs are right out there.  But enough about her.  Her and the old dude have a mutually beneficial relationship.  He likes her boobs too probably and either is trying to, or has gotten to play with them.  Meanwhile she gets free lunch and probably gets to dip into his money a little directly or indirectly.  No, not all women are like this but if you were here you would think the same thing.  I promise.)

Ok, I was saying how I didn’t want girls or distractions or anything else bothering me.  I wanted to finish this story, then study my drinks and also do a little paperwork I am behind on for some random stuff.  But here’s the thing.  Ya, you know already where this is going…  As soon as I get out of my car and walk up to the Panera Bread entrance, and glance through the window, I see a very cute girl sitting right in plain view.  So there’s distraction number…

1.  Most guys may look and move on.  I, of course, take it that life is presenting me with an opportunity for my favorite game…  Seduction.  I had to go talk to her, and here I will reveal my TRUE fire sure way to approach pretty much any girl in a coffeeshop, anywhere in the world and have her be receptive to my approach, probably your approach too if you do this right.

I get my coffee and I grab some mixers for the coffee, usually honey is all I put in my coffee.  I walk over to her table, and without saying a work, I pull out a free chair and sit, while placing my coffee, honey and stir-sticks on the table.  She, of course, looks up at me wondering why some stranger just sat down at her table without even asking or introducing himself, when there are plenty of other free seats in the house; to which I respond before I she even opens her mouth, “They say..,” I pause as I glance up only briefly enough to make eye contact, before turning my attention back to my coffee, that begin the process of adding honey to and mixing, “… In Tibet, that it’s bad luck to mix your coffee by yourself, so you should find an interesting stranger to talk to while you’re mixing it.”

(In this case I said Tibet, but I always like to pick some random location on earth to keep myself amused.)

In this case, and like most times, the girl asked, “So you’ve been to Tibet?”

“No,” I reply, “I’m just making this up,” and then looking at her impatiently like she’s interrupting, “But Just let me finish my story!”

In this case the girl had interrupted me twice during my story, the first time to give me a hard time about putting honey in my coffee.  In the end she did have a boyfriend that she was serious about so I will save the discussion for a time when it’s more relevant, like when I pull some ass.  Needless to say, most of the conversation was smiley and fun for both of us.  But these women and their damn boyfriends.  If I ever become president I’m passing a law that excludes me from any restrictions on fucking a chick due to relationships.  Not that I will do it Despite their relationships.  No, I’m not so crass.  In my law, the status of said relationship will not apply to me.  It just wont count.  I will get a waiver, if you will, so that her current relationship is irrelevant.

Now, continuing with a couple other minor distractions, once I got to my table there was a guy on his computer doing live, face to face, chat through webcam with some girl, and they were both smiling and laughing.  I thought to myself, “How beautiful.  It’s kinda like the Jetson’s, but at the same time very cool that two people can keep in touch that way.”

Then directly to the left of me sat a girl and a guy across from her.  She was on the phone talking to someone and crying.  I imagined someone must have just died.  That was the vibe I got.

The point is, here was life happening all around me, and it just felt kinda magical.  NOT as magical as one day, a while back, that I was driving my car through the city and just so happened to be playing Yann Tierson’s soundtrack from the movie Amelie.  I was going to post an example of what I’m talking about but those damn, silly copywrite restrictions have pretty much barred the entire soundtrack from being on youtube.  Pretty Gay, EMI.

Anyway, you’ll just have to do the homework yourself… 😉  That is… Unless my badassness comes through and I do the homework for you. 😉

21 responses to “A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer with Sleep Apnea Part IV

    • You stumbled across the secret to this blog. Secretly, this is really a music blog in disguise! I tend to have a talent for finding people music they like that they don’t even know they like until they listen to it. 😉 I’ll see if I can dig up some similar stuff.

      • I would truly appreciate it if you would be so kind as to find more music like this for me. Thank you VERY much Ronnie. 🙂 mmmmwwwaaaa!

        Music, man it’s my friend… I love the violin, I love the electric violin too, have you ever heard that? WOW that’s awesome… sigh…Makes me happy, sings to my soul, wakes me up…

        Thank you very much! I appreciate you. Thank you Ronnie. 🙂 This makes me very happy. (Doesn’t take much… )

          • Here’s the skinny I didn’t give you before since I was replying from my phone. The artist and song they got the violin part of the track from is Tann Tiersen and the soundtrack is Amelie (from the movie).

            I found that track when I was searching for the tracks from the soundtrack, unfortunately EMI is dicky and decided to remove all the actual songs from the movie from US youtube.

            However, because I’m pretty badass I have included a link for you.

            http://8tracks.com/_noel/amelie-soundtrack

            You’ll recognize the sample once you start listening. The whole soundtrack is like that, sans the beats.

            I will do a little digging and see if there’s any music that rings a bell that is violin heavy and has some beats.

  1. Killin’ me with the cliffhanger RL…I’m pretty sure she had you at burrito! 🙂

    Love the Panera story – I have to say, I think I’d be totally open to someone sitting down and giving me that story, provided it was presented correctly.

    Nice touch Rico Suave~

      • Oh you’d sit down if you saw me sitting alone at Panera – especially if it was summer and I had a tank on..the biceps would draw you in. 😉

        Perhaps you’d try a different angle with me…you’d know, in the moment, I trust that. You are RL – Modern Day Seducer…

        Fresh whipped cream is good, with real vanilla and just a pinch of organic sugar… sweetens everything.

        • Nope. Same angle. I was just talking about your blog post, silly. Anyway, same approach, but ya. First of all tanktops on a woman are sexy. I’m totally all about some sexy tank tops, especially the really thin ones where the nipples poke through really easy. My old girlfriend used to wear those and yum! But then if you’re biceps are as nice as you say they are I’d probably turn my attention to them pretty quickly. The only problem is, how to put my mouth on them in the middle of a Panera during the day without having all the social pressure of people around us making you feel uncomfortable. You see my dilemma. So the key would have to be me figuring out how to do it, which might involve me getting a phone number (which honestly I don’t like to do but it is a necessity) or trying to bounce you to a more adult drinking spot, or setting up another date. . . Or, of course, the best option for me would be to invite you to my place for some wine and… You know, discussions about you and your guns. 😉

          • Oh I knew exactly what you were talking about, silly.
            You men, you love the tank tops on the women, espcially when they are thin and brush against the stand-out landscape of our upper bodies…
            I like the idea that you wanting to bite my biceps has you thinking about how creative you might need to be in the middle of Panera… It’s good to have to think a little about how get the job done – making sure you bring your best game to the gun show!

          • I think you just like the idea of me wanting to bite your biceps.

            I said, put my mouth on them. You filled in the blanks yourself. But don’t worry, that’s a good thing. It tells me you’re the type of girl who likes to live out fantasies that are outside the box, which I find sexy as hell, because (obviously) I’m like that too.

            But like I said, if I were to bring anything to the gun show it would be oil, lots and lots of edible oil, and hopefully a little warming too, that I would most likely rub on your biceps, make a big mess, and then…. I mean, we gotta clean up that mess somehow.

          • My biceps are so sore right now…two hours at the gym this morning and yoga tonight…
            I guess I did jump right to biting…hmmmm…..wonder what that says about my inner fantasy girl…

            I did take a long…hot…bubble bath this afternoon – that was a nice mid day thing I should do more often… Its nice to just ease into the hot water and let your thoughts wander….

            Making messes is fun, cleaning them up can be so rewarding.

          • Speaking of your goods fantasy girl, here’s the interesting part. I don’t know if I should tell you this… I’m gonna anyway, but don’t get judgemental. I think there’s two parts of you. There’s the part of you that likes the connection and relationship aspect of a solid and nice relationship, but then there’s that naughty, dirty and maybe even a little aggressively dominant side that wants to ooze sexuality and have a man desire you, even be powerless to resisting that side, to lust after you completely. But that’s cool, cuz I love a woman who’s in touch with that side of her inner seductress. I think most women have that side of them, but for whatever reason, they don’t know how, or are afraid to express it. So a woman who can own her sexual vibe is the kind of woman that gets my mouth watering, and my teeth wanting to . . . You know. . . But let’s talk about that bath…

          • I never get judgemental RL, safe to spill.
            There are totally two parts of me, possibly more, but you found two key ones for sure.
            I love my sexuality – I love that I am comfortable with it. I do think a lot of women have the same thoughts and desires I do, but they are scared of being judged or society thinking they are dirty and bad for thinking some of those thoughts.
            Who doesn’t like feeling sexy? I love it – and in the right relationship, you can only have fun with it! But yes, my bath…..lemme read what you said…below….

          • I can imagine what it feels like after a long, hard workout how good it can be to just get home, strip away all the stresses and thoughts of the day, and drop every stitch of clothing, and slip into that steaming hot bath. And before you get in it’s like there’s that moment where you can already imagine that heat working it’s way through every part of your body. And then there’s that moment… Of sliding in… Where you let go completely and let that pleasure completely take you away…

          • …after reading what you wrote, you pretty much describe exactly what it’s like. There wasn’t much to strip away, yoga pants and a tank, but I tossed them to the floor and dipped my foot in to see if the water was too hot. If I could have had it hotter, I would have – I had only hot water running and it still wasn’t hot enough. Once I was covered in hot soapy water, I just gave in to the heat and let it work it’s way through each of my muscles…loosening them and relaxing them. I closed my eyes and lay my head back, letting the water take over. Something about a hot bath mid afternoon, made my Monday feel kinda sexy. There may have been a tasteful yet sexy photo snapped and sent to someone in the coffee industry.

          • PS. goods fantasy girl is supposed to say inner fantasy girl. But you know… Writing replies from my phone . . . That’s what ya get 🙂

            On 1/31/12, Ronald Easton wrote: > Speaking of your goods fantasy girl, here’s the interesting part. I > don’t know if I should tell you this… I’m gonna anyway, but don’t > get judgemental. I think there’s two parts of you. There’s the part of > you that likes the connection and relationship aspect of a solid and > nice relationship, but then there’s that naughty, dirty and maybe even > a little aggressively dominant side that wants to ooze sexuality and > have a man desire you, even be powerless to resisting that side, to > lust after you completely. But that’s cool, cuz I love a woman who’s > in touch with that side of her inner seductress. I think most women > have that side of them, but for whatever reason, they don’t know how, > or are afraid to express it. So a woman who can own her sexual vibe is > the kind of woman that gets my mouth watering, and my teeth wanting to > . . . You know. . . But let’s talk about that bath… > >

          • Two things I REALLY love. 1. A woman in a bath. I like actually playing bath with a woman, but more like giving her a bath with scented candles and wine and maybe even some flower petals and some of that bath oil and so on. Of course I’m gonna ravage her when she gets out 😉 And 2. Yoga Pants. Man, all you women now wear those things everywhere and it pretty much form fits your ass. I mean, woman HAVE to know that their ass is pretty much right out there when they’re walking around. I LOVE those things… But ya. Yoga pants off and soapy body = happy Ronnie, especially if I’m helping soap up the body .

  2. Leave it to the yoga pants and a bath to exhaust that thread! Phew!
    Let’s go again!

    So yoga pants – yeah, I’m guilty. I know you men love them – that’s something I learned right away after putting up an online dating profile last summer…just mention “yoga pants” and the boys go wild.
    So yeah, I’m pretty selective with my yoga pants – they gotta make my ass look good. I just got a new pair – damn! This pair is good, if I may say so myself, and I’m my worst critic, naturally. I think I need to buy another pair…
    Baths, yeah, those are a new thing to me and I’m liking ’em….I dig your description.

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