That’s obviously the name of the guy they coined the word perseverance from.  But here’s an interesting story about him you might not know.  (My source is one of my all time favorite movies, Excalibur.  This movie totally captured the Dark Ages (or age of the knights in shining armor) about as accurately, in my mind, as it could be depicted.  After seeing this movie when I was little I totally wanted to live in a different time period.

I always tried to figure out which character in the movie was most like me over time.  Arthur?  Maybe a little.  Merlin? Definitely a part of me.  Lancelot…  Well…  Other than being a badass fighter, I probably would have been more focused on fucking the single girls of the court instead of going after my best friend, and king’s old lady.  I tend to be loyal to my buddies and have had SO MANY opportunities to hook up with my friend’s girls it wasn’t funny.  I thought it was a curse in my life at one point.  So far I have only done it 1 time way back when and it was her fault. 😉

Well…  It’s always the girl’s fault…  ;p

Anyway, if you have not seen this movie, I recommend you do.  It’s a movie I will probably watch once again tonight just because this has been on my mind so much.)

The story is that Percival started out a normal peasant.  He was not a knight.  One day he followed Lancelot back to Camelot after trying to prove himself in different ways to him.  Of course all he wanted was to be a knight.  When he got to Camelot they threw him in the Kitchen and so on.

Later, after Guinevere took off to go cheat on Arthur with Lancelot, and Agravain (or Meliagaunce) accused them of infidelity, there had to be a fight to prove her innocence.  But the problem was that Lancelot was sick as hell from guilt for fucking his best friend’s wife and (in the movie) even had a big fight with himself where he actually was wounded badly with an unhealable wound.  So he couldn’t very well defend himself.  So, seeing his opportunity, Percival took his chance and said he would defend the queen’s honor – Why?  Because none of the other knights would step up; the implication being they knew what was up.

But, of course, Arthur didn’t wanna believe his wife and best friend banged each other in the forest (no guy in a relationship will believe his girl’s a skank, even if EVERYONE but him knows it.  I’m sure this works the same with women.) so he decided to knight Percival.

But there’s more to it.  See this guy was busting his ass and he did not want to stop.  So because he didn’t give up on his dream he totally got to be a knight.  But here’s the thing.  LATER shit got worse for the kingdom of Camelot.  Arthur got pissed off once he found out that his wife indeed was a skank, and he lost his sword, Excaliubur, by driving it into a stone, instead of killing his best friend.  Then Morgana tricked him into having a son with her, who she raised to be an evil, invincible prick.  Arthur got sicker and sicker after being struck by evil, magical, lightening.

So the quest for the Holy Grail began.  And guess what?  It was a motherfucking pain in the ass.  While they were searching, Mordred (Guinevere’s pricky sone) was going out killing all the knights, or they would get fucked up by harsh weather, starvation, you name it.  But a lot of them were getting killed by Guen and Morty.  So Percival eventually gets lured into Guinevere’s hide out where he is offered the possibility of getting the Holy Grail.  Of course he figures out she doesn’t have it, but by that time it’s too late and he’s hung out to die on a tree with a bunch of other dead knights.

But what happens is he gets his chance.  He has a dream when he is hanging there.  He gets an opportunity to take the challenge to get the Holy Grail and, well…  He fucks it up.  But, even though he fucks it up he comes out of it still alive.  The rope snaps and he gets free instead of dyeing like all the other knights on the tree.  So off he goes again.

Eventually, down the road he gets another chance.  He is drowning this time, and here comes the vision again, but this time he’s fucking ready!  Percival ends up being the guy who saves the entire kingdom by getting Arthur the Holy Grail that heals him and gets the kingdom back on track.

And that’s exactly how my motherfucking life has been, except right now, I just fucked up the first trial.  I was hired at the cool, fancy, bar and this bar was not a joke.  But I failed.  I told mylifetakethree (35maplestreet) part of the story already, and I don’t wanna rehash here what I told her, because here is where I take responsibility for being a dumb ass and failing, due to the enticing of shit that I let ruin my first bartending job.

Already I was being eyeballed.  I am not a hot chick and I am not an investor who works behind the bar.  I am the one guy in that room they hired that no one knew.  Immediately one of the managers there started hawkeyeing me.  I kinda think he took a dislike to me for whatever reason.  Circumstantial, really, but it is what it is.  ButI am the type of person who can turn that shit around sometimes, but in this case I failed.


So I wanted to show my support for the new bar I worked at.  I wanted to show my love.  So I brought some friends up there and we had some drinks a couple Saturdays ago.  It was a good time.  I was getting fed shots by everyone including the managers.  It was cool.

But I got fucked up.  I tend to blame the combo of Chartreuse, Jim Beam Devil’s cut, some Saison (Belgian Farm Ale) and random shots, but really I am to blame.  I have NOT done this in ages; but I blacked out.

I don’t know if it was a combo of sleep problems and alcohol, or whatever, because I can usually handle my booze and I seldom black out.  But in this case I did.  And it was not that bad.  I just got a little goofy, from what I heard, but then there was this memory.

When you get an adrenaline rush when you are blacked out you will come back to for just a moment.  I got an adrenaline rush that night.  When I came back in I was pissing out in the parking lot in full visibility of the front door the venue.  The problem was that one of my managers was there and he had just called out to me, having caught me doing it.

Ya…  That…

Here’s the thing.  When I go out with my friends I am mostly the guy, even when we are fucked up, keepin my friends in line.  I like to have a good time, but I am not the low-class douchebag who does fucked up shit, but whiskey is another story (see Devil’s Cut).  When I add whiskey to the mix, fucked up shit happens.  I become a pirate.  I become a barbarian.  So most of the time I avoid whiskey when I go out.

But Whiskey just so happened to be the key ingredient to one of our craft cocktails.  I drank it.  And it, with a combination of other shit, totally kicked my ass and bolted me into pirate mode.  I wont get into the details, but needless to say I was pulled aside after only working one more shift there and told I was being taken off the schedule.

Stories exaggerate. There’s that story game you play when you’re a kid where one kid tells the next the same thing and by the time the story gets back to the person who started it the story has changed.  Well, pissing in the parking lot had become pissing on one of the owner’s vehicles.  I know that did not happen but there was nothing I could say.  They had made up their mind.  I walked into it anyway by allowing myself to be a dumb shit.

Lesson #4081:  Don’t get fucked up where you work on shit that you know will make you do dumb shit.

So now I am back on the quest after having failed.  The knight that keeps popping into my head is Percival.  I have already submitted so many resumes it’s not even funny.  I just went to an open call and the quick interview seemed pretty dry.  I have had a couple places that seemed promising so I will have to follow up with them as well.  But I feel like I fucked up.  I feel like I had my chance.  But I also feel like this was for a purpose.  Better to have had that happen after less than a week than having it happened after 6 months.  Now I have to bite the bullet from being a fucking idiot and go out and keep looking.

Ok ok.  Yes, some of the people I talked to think they over-reacted.  One of my friends who was with me that nights said, “You have to admit, it’s kind of funny.”  But the implication he made is, I got that job and that means I can get another one.  Maybe this was not the place for me.  Not only that but I heard the people who worked a super busy Saturday shift and made over $600 each in tips, had to give up HALF of those tips to the “house”.

That probably would have pissed me off enough for me to walk anyway.  That’s completely illegal.  But that, at least, would have been me making the decision, not getting fired for being a fucking bonehead.

My Indian friend said to me, “Don’t worry.   Lady luck is on your side.  You will totally find a good job soon.”  I think he means it.  A lot of people, even the Head Bartender at the bar that just hired me, voiced their support for me.  But now I am back to busting my ass getting work.

And the thing is, I am very close to getting an eviction hearing.  That’s another thing happening.  But I can’t give up.  Fucking life!  Ya, read my last post.  I am NOT, I fucking REFUSE, to let life fuck me up.  I will fight to the last and I will keep trying.  I will motherfucking succeed and very soon I will have my chance at getting the Grail once again and this time…  Well, let’s just say I’m not gonna put any whiskey in it and drink it at whatever Bar Hires me.

If I didn’t have some enthusiasm in my life, if I didn’t have this fucking drive to always expect the best even when shit sucks, I dunno.  But I do.  I will succeed dammit!  I will persevere and succeed.  (Oh, and sleep….?  Jesus Christ, that’s a whole fucking other story, but I wont bore you with it, until I know for sure if I just found a temporary solution, which I might have.)


Well, then there’s this version…  Keep in mind Galahad and Percival are the same person, just different authors.

Sidecar II:

By the way, here’s a fucking fantastic discovery I just made.  Noodles that are low carb, low fat, low everything.  They are actually healthy for you.  Best of all they are dirt cheap:

Shirataki Noodles! Click to see!

Sidecar III:

Here’s a good trailer for the movie Excalibur…  Just go watch it.  I want a full review in the comments section of this post.  Now GO!


Smokey Posted on Facebook:
Dear “When I Grow Up”,
i refuse.
Dear “Get A Life”,
make me.
Dear “Life”,
i made it all up. ehhh now what do you have to say?! ehhh ehhh that’s riigghhttt! go run away like … ehhh emmm like … well… YEAHHH and there’s more where that came from! humpth i am nottah ‘fraid of you! what! ohhh there’s big bad life, here to teach me about stuff! and be all “that’s life”… and smug! well… two words for you: “Facts Of Life”… ehhh wait, emmm that’s three words! ehhh smaahhh. i stick to my story!
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Late Night, Maudlin Street

The man is knockin on my door…

The story is alot and I will post more soon, but for now…  This is a song that made sense to me today. . .

The last night on Maudlin Street,
Goodbye house – goodbye stairs,
I was born here, I was raised here and I took some stick here.
Love at first sight may sound trite,
But it’s true, you know.
I could list the detail Of everything you ever wore Or said, or how you stood that day.
As we spend the last night on Maudlin Street,
“Goodbye house, forever!”
I never stole a happy hour around here.
Where the world’s ugliest boy,
He became what you see Here I am – the ugliest man.
Oh the last night on Maudlin Street,
Truly I do love you
Oh, truly I do love you.
When I sleep with that picture of You framed beside my bed,
Oh, it’s childish and it’s silly
But I think it’s you in my room By the bed (…yes, I told you it was silly…) And I know I took strange pills But I never meant to hurt you.

Oh, truly I love you
Came home late one night,
Everyone had gone to bed.
But you know, no one stays up for you I had sixteen stitches all around my head.
Oh, the last bus I missed to Maudlin Street,
So, he drove me home in the van,
complaining: “Women only like me for my mind..”
Don’t leave your torch behind, a power-cut ahead 1972, you know.
And so we crept through the park,
No, I cannot steal a pair of jeans off a clothesline for you.
But you without clothes,
Oh I could not keep a straight face.
Me – without clothes?
Well, a nation turns its back and gags..
and I’m packed.
I am moving house,
A half-life disappears today.
With every hag waves me on secretly wishing me gone.
Well, I will be soon
Oh – I will be soon, I will be soon..
There were bad times on Maudlin Street,
They took you away in a police car.
“Inspector – don’t you know? Don’t you care? Don’t you know about Love?”
Your gran died and your mother died, On Maudlin Street.
In pain and ashamed  With never time to say,
Those special things.
I took the keys from Maudlin Street
Well, it’s only bricks and mortar!
Oh.. truly I love you…
Wherever you are,
Wherever you are,
Wherever you are,
I hope you’re singing now.
Oh I do, I hope you’re singing now…