Down in the dumps… My bitchy ranty post?

I can’t even flirt today…  This is where I do some stream of consciousness writing to ask myself, “Me?  What’s going on?”  That’s the question.  Now I will just write and not even really pay attention to what I write and get it out. For the record there are 2 cute girls to my left in this coffeeshop but I’m talking to them and, they even talked to me and engaged me a couple times, and I can’t get out of dry conversation.  I have no money and this job that hired me, just seems to be taking forever to start up.  I have taken to sending out resumes again just today to see if any other places need someone.  Not that I’m going to quit the other place, I plan on staying but they aren’t open so…  Well now would be a good time to have some fucking money in my pocket.

Graaaah.  So talk about dilemmas.  Here we go; I l already know the answer but I wanna see it written down and solidified.  If 2 cute girls are showing curiosity and interest in me, and I’m stuck in my head with this feeling of…  Droll, dumb, dry and non challenging or fun conversation…  Ronnie, What’s going on?

——————

Dude, money?  Talk about frustrating.  So there’s a difference between being broke and being completely fucking broke.  When I am broke but have enough money to spend on little things, dating is actually pretty cool.  I can do well.  But right now I can’t even afford to go out by myself, let alone meet some girl and take her out.  Short of meeting some girl and pulling her to my place immediately, I really ….

Here’s the thing.  It’s one thing when I feel like I have some exciting shit going on in my life and I am actually living it.  But I am in this broke fucking state right now.  I get girls who I text with and the texts are even funny and entertaining and I am sure I could have these girls out with me, but then I don’t ask them out.  Why?  Anyway, I need to figure out how to get money in my pocket.

I get it.  Sticking to my guns is important, and I don’t fucking plan on selling out.  I need to follow my dreams of opening my own bar and I am getting to the age where if I don’t follow through now, I never will follow through.  So the time is now.  Establish.  Get involved.  But I’m 38 and I never thought, when I was young, that I would be this broke fucker struggling with painfully difficult sleep issues at this age.

No one tells you when you’re young, “So guess what?  You’re gonna deal with a fucked up sleep disease for years when you’re older where it will debilitate the fuck out of your life.  No.  Really.  You’re going to have days where you know people are out enjoying life and you’re going to be too much of a zombie to even get out of bed, or do anything besides play videogames or watch movies that you’re too tired to even pay attention to.  So you’ll just kind of veg out all day, eat and try to sleep in some painfully scary situation where it seems like the fact that you are SO fucking tired makes it, actually, more difficult to get to sleep.

Then you’re going to wake up, and have to sit there and wonder to yourself if you can push through the next day or if in about 30 minutes you’re going to realize that you didn’t get enough sleep and your eyes, your head, your mind and pretty much the rest of you are gonna feel like shit.  Man, and then there’s the battle of getting back to sleep, or sometimes, not where you lay there for an hour or two and slowly fall asleep, battling with trying…

Man, fuck this.  I am not going to be old this fucking fast.  I am not going to have some major issue like this at this point in my life.  I will conquer this.  But how?  I want to live my life.  I need to get a fucking job and I need to make sure it’s doing what  I love.

Why such an emphasis in doing what I love?  Because I have had enough pain in my life.  I ….

So Jesus Christ, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise…

This is how life works.

Check this out…

As I’m feeling like shit and bitching and whining to you what do you think happened?

Take a wild guess.  Don’t fucking cheat!

So my phone rang just a minute ago..  I had just put up a couple ads on craigslist trying to sell a couple things I have.  I didn’t recognize the number so I picked it up.

“Hi, Ronnie…?” The female voice on the other end said.

“Ya, this is,” I replied.

“This is ——- from ——— Bar.  Do you wanna work Sunday?  We’re gonna be open.”

Of fucking COURSE!  I didn’t say that, of fucking course, but the jist of it is..  It’s GO TIME.  That’s right.  My new bar is gonna be open this Sunday and they want me to work… Nice!

So here we go.  It’s been a while but I’m ready to do this.  Let’s make it happen!

Interesting how things change at the drop of a hat.  Sometimes I just need to make sure I follow my own advice and remind myself of the Taoist Farmer Story.

Anyway, ladies and gents.  It’s Go Time!

Sidecar:

Wanna celebrate with me?  Well how does a broke ass Libra celebrate a victory such as this?  Besides sex.  I’ll get to that soon enough.  Let me get the money thing straightened out and then we can get back to seduction.  Cool?  😉

By watching Kung Fu, of course.

Here’s one of my favorites of all times.  It’s a little love story, no really.  It’s got action, comedy, romance, bromance, evil wizards, monsters, alcoholism and all sorts of shit all wrapped up into one.

I DARE YOU to watch it for 10 minutes and see if you don’t get sucked in.  Seriously.

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39 responses to “Down in the dumps… My bitchy ranty post?

  1. Go time indeed! See what I mean about life being fucking amazing the way it works out? I swear, you think it’s all about to blow up in your face and then ba-bam, it unfolds like this! Yay for you RL! Superbowl Sunday! Hope it’s busy and you roll in the dough!
    Now get some scratch in your pocket so you can get your flirting back in check dude!

    I just made four jars of homemade hot fudge…guess what they get topped with? Whipped cream and a cherry!

      • I mean, at first. . . But then imagine the possibilities, when I have to clean it up with my mouth where I might go next, or even better yet, where you could imagine wanting me to go…

          • You know when you girls say things like, “I just put oil on.” or “I just licked the spatula.” that in Ronnie’s world that a very Slllooooowww, sensual process, where I imagine you slowly, taking your tongue and running it along the entire length of the spatula, talking it all in and sucking all that flavorful sweetness into your mouth. The room is dark and there are candles all around you, lit, which would usually be scented, but in this case the room already smells like fudge, so…

          • That’s pretty much how it went Ronnie. I turned off all the lights, lit some candles, unscented, because yes it smells like a fucking confectionary in here. There I stood in my yoga pants and tank top, flexing my bicep as I swirled the spatula all around the pan. Suddenly I realized the hot fudge was dripping off the spatula, so I quickly darted my tongue to the mess and licked what was dripping. Then, ever so slowly, I slid my tongue from the bottom of the spatula all the way to the tip, back down the other side and then smacked my lips together saying, “mmmmmmmmmmmmm.”

            That’s pretty much a typical cooking scenario for me… 😉

          • See, it’s good when a girl can really admit what goes on behind the scenes. Some girls will try and act like, “No it was really no big deal. I was just licking some fudge off the spatula,” when in reality (specifically Ronnie World) what goes on is far more intense and exciting.

            You forgot to mention how, for no apparent reason, you took the spatula and spread some of that fudge on your flexed bicep, and then licked it off slowly and sensually…

          • Oh yeah, I’m all about admitting to what I’ve got going on in my kitchen – it’s downright sexy cooking over here at 35 Maple Street.

            Yeah, there were a few times the hot fudge did get on my bicep and I pulled my arm across my chest and just licked the fudge right off of there, of course finding it hard to not flex my tricep in the process…. 🙂

  2. 2 updates to this post.

    1. They emailed me and told me they’re not ready to open yet. So it looks like I wont be working afterall.

    2. I now know why I am so fucking unmotivated today. I have an extendi-hangover. That means that since I had a friend who took me out drinking 2 days ago, and then another friend who wanted to drink with me yesterday, my body and brain are like… Hey Ronnie, fuck you!

    So this makes perfect sense to me now. I figured this out because it’s friday night and yet a 3rd guy wants to go out and most assuredly we would get drunk and chase after girls, but I have absolutely NO DESIRE to go do anything but go home and curl up in my bed, and do nothing. I even have this chick giving me lots of eye contact that just gave me once more.

    She was with her friend talking about guys who wanted to date her (apparently some dude who likes her just called her) and I noticed the volume of her conversation went up a little when she started talking about them, and I caught her making EC at least a couple times.

    And right before she left she gave me one last EC. I did nothing. I have like zero motivation right now. Fucking mid week drinking! I think I’m taking a couple weeks off.

    I could used some fudge and cherries… 😉

    • Oh hunny, say it isn’t so! Noooooooo! That sucks. Nothing more to be said there. But I get exactly what you are experiencing. This is exactly what I went through with my current job. They were supposed to open in November, it didn’t happen until the end of December…but now it’s fucking awesome. Love my job. It’ll happen soon RL, just hang in there. You could go donate sperm for a little cake! 🙂

      Did someone ask for fudge and cherries? Here I am, hot fudge, cherries, whipped cream….

  3. Totally thrilled for you that you’re starting on Sunday 🙂 GOOD!

    you open that bar, got room for a beer and shot girl? 🙂

    I feel your pain, i got laid off today… So, Hopefully I will NOT be broke…

  4. Already on the job search, love. That’s kinda what my post was gonna be originally.

    Sleep is kinda shitty. Today I am not over tired but it’s there. When I wear the mask I wake up super early and it’s hard for me to get to sleep again unless I don’t wear it, which is what I did last night. I took it off. So I’m rested today but it could be better. I need to try no alcohol for a bit and see what happens.

    I think alcohol can have delayed effects, but will make me sleep better short term. Kinda weird. So no going out this weekend, at least drinking, and I am gonna continue to job search.

    • Glad to hear it, about the job search…not that you slept shitty.
      You’ll figure out the rhythm of the mask soon enough I’m sure.

      All we can do sometimes is tweak and test…you’ll know soon enough what works best to keep RL rested enough to be and maintain all that makes RL…Ronnie!

      Sleep well my dear…you could be me, sporting a half cast and trying to sleep….

      • I kinda am sporting a cast. It’s not the most elegant and comfortable way to sleep and right now it’s just a big pain in the ass. But we’ll see. I’m glad I decided to write about everything in this blog. Not only is this a good vent but I’ll be able to come back one day and say, “fuck ya. Things are so much better now than they were then.” One thing I’ve learned about pain is once it’s gone, it’s actually almost hard to believe you ever had it, when it’s the future and you’re looking back remembering you once were in pain. So this is just another test in my life. Unfortunately I didn’t have my blog up for the other painful times but then again, who wants to read a bunch of painful, depressing shit all the time. I sure don’t 😉 . . . Word is, we should be open, just maybe, by this weekend. We do a little more training starting wednesday. We’ll see whats up. Apparently I gotta study. Wish me luck on my sleep I’m about to attempt so I can fucking study my menu shit tomorrow. . .

          • Doin it as we speak. I have a bib post about yesterday I wanna write that involves acupuncture, chinese medicine, shitty sleep, and apparently a change to my diet, but I need to learn this menu.

          • Ooooh I love reading about alternative medicine. So sorry shitty sleep is still happening, clearly you need some high quality sex to wear you out! 🙂
            I am curious about your diet stuff too, this girl is all about a clean diet plus wine of course. Happy to help however I can
            I made it through my first day at work with a half cast on my arm – fuck that was fun…NOT!
            This girl did one armed planks and one armed downward dogs at yoga last night….look out jack palance and your one armed push-ups…I’m on my way!

          • Let’s see if I can summarize you last comment.

            One armed planks and downward dogs means nice, sexy arms and yoga pants.

            To help my shitty sleep I need some high quality sex to wear me out and you are happy to help however you can. 🙂

            That sounds like my kinda plan.

            Ya man, the short is, I have been eating for the wrong body type. Apparently I have a body type that needs lots of fruits and veggies and that meat is no good for. I have been eating a high protein diet and working out like a horse from time to time wondering why my body does not lose the friggen extra fat. Apparently it’s because my body type already produces plenty of testosterone (which is why I am constantly horny and love sex) and a heavy meat diet causes me to produce more testosterone and cortesol which converts to fat.

            Now I’m not sure, but ya, I bet if I lost 20 pounds my sleep shit might ease up a little. So now It’s salads and vegetarian stuff for a while for me. I am not saying I 100% agree with my Acupuncturist, but I will try it out for a couple weeks and see what happens. If I start losing fat then, I suppose I will change my diet and save things like meat and all that for the cheat our out to eat days.

            I was like, “No… It’s when I eat rice and bread and stuff when I gain the fat.” She said she thinks it’s because a majority of my diet is meat based, and that maybe that would change if I switched to primarily lots of fruits and vegetables.

            It’s worth a shot. We’ll see…

            But let’s get back to what you were saying about helping me, 😉

          • Oh and my new yoga pants are so damn flattering I didn’t even mind going out to dinner in them after wearing them under my ski pants Saturday night.
            I’ve challenged Mr. Coffee to an arm wrestling match this weekend, if i win…mmmmhmmmm…yeah, I hope I win. But the loser really won’t have it so bad either. No surprise, he said he’s all in! 🙂

            As a vegetarian myself, I think you are about to witness some good stuff within that sexy machine of yours. Once you lose a few pounds, you will feel so much better and yes, the sleep will naturally improve. Are you a back sleeper? My ex was overweight, partly due to my amazing cooking, and he slept on his back. He snored like a fucking freight train but i do think he had sleep apnea as well.

            The more raw food you get in you the better and aim for organic whenever possible. Think of the convos and legitimate recipe requests to be asked of the Whole Foods attractive single customer base in Chicago. I’d cook you dinner in a heartbeat RL!

            I am happy to help in anyway I can, unfortunately I have yet to figure out how to have sex via a comment post though…I can amp you up though, the rest is up to you. 😉

            I still have two jars of fudge and a spatula that could easily be licked of all that warm, sticky, drippy goodness. 🙂

            Excited to follow your healthy journey RL – you are going to be a seduction machine!

  5. Hey Ronnie! Listen, you have to click the access button thing when you go to her blog and then she’ll approve you. She didn’t block you or anything, just made a few changes. 🙂 Juuuust letting you know.

  6. New Thread

    Ya, I am a seduction machine, but I apparently I have been not fueling the machine with the right fuel for a little while and some of the parts aren’t running as smoothly as they should be. But have no fear, I will totally get on board with this new diet of sorts.

    As far as armwrestling, I probably already said this, if a chick I was dating or fucking or wanted to fuck was to armwrestle me and win, it would be instant horny for me and I would be all about gettin it on, like immediately.

    There was even one girl recently, who wasn’t even my type, who I met from online dating. But we armwrestled and for a couple minutes straight we were dead even. I couldn’t move her. That alone was HOT so, well, where I may not have had sex with her, I ended up totally doing it to her pretty hardcore.

    Go figure. I have no idea what gene in my mind gets wired at the thought of licking hot fudge, very slowly and sensuously off a nice female bicep. Or if we wanted to get even a little more wild we could sort of have it where the woman kinda forces me a little, maybe grabbing the back of my head and shoving my head onto her arm, making me clean up the mess, with a little verbal “instruction” thrown in for good measure.

    Anyway, I know this is not normal guy stuff, but I am willing to bet you BIG MONEY there are more guys out there who get hot at the thought of something like this than they will EVER admit due to being branded as “weird” or whatever.

    • Geez, I’ve lost count, what number “thread” are we on now? I prefer five threads….

      I’m glad to read that you are at least game for trying the new diet. When you feel like shit, there is only one way to go, up, so what do you have to lose, right? Plus you know eating more fruits and veggies isn’t going to KILL you!

      Now as for arm wrestling – seriously, what if I win? I don’t think Mr. Coffee is gonna cry and pout, he’s not that type of macho guy…I would think, like you, he’d think that to be rather hot. We’ll see, I know I’m gonna give a damn good challenge at least…. He’s gonna be like damn, this chick is strong!

      So now on our list of things to do, we add arm wrestle to it RL! We got a lot to do, no risk of boredom at least. 😉

      I’ve never taken on the “in charge” role before… but damn, I keep surprising myself with the things I think of, so, not gonna rule THAT out! 🙂

      I’m finding being open and honest about my sexuality to be a lot of fun. I love to push boundaries and see what the guy does with what I say or do. Shit, the stuff I say to Mr. Coffee, how could a guy NOT want to be on the receiving end of THAT? He’s slowly coming out of his shell, but there is more comfort that needs to be found for him to say what, I know, is truly going thru his head.

      In other news, my best friend and I have a standing tues nite dinner drinks and catch up date. I totally had a Doctor leave his name and number on the table for me! Yeah, that was a nice ego boost! Wish he would have bought my dinner though… 🙂

      • speaking of muscle, my body type promotes muscle naturally. Apparently there’s no shortage of muscle but then it’s a matter of getting past the chub. My body type only gains weight in the belly and neck and face. That’s it. My legs are really strong and muscular and my arms are pretty decent too. So I wanna see what happens if this super veggie diet works. NO meat today. Weird. Tofu is on my list and probably, maybe faux meat, but I’m gonna try and focus on crap loads of veggies and fruit and see what happens in a couple weeks. I told my mom I need to lose twenty lbs in a month. Extreme maybe but I like to set my goals super high. By the way. I’m not a big fatass, but the guys in my family have always been pretty big. I call it Barbarian blood. Meant for cold winters and long hunting or pillaging journeys. Apparently we don’t do stuff like that anymore so I don’t get to burn off the extra fat I would have just about a hundred or so years ago when life wasn’t so damn easy for mankind.

      • As far as you go, HA you totally remind me of me. I remember saying almost those exact words to a prim and proper southern belle who lived in key west. I mean where you say you know there’s more going on in Mr C’s head. I told her that, “I bet you have all this crazy shit in your head you think about, wild stuff that you think if other people know what you were thinking, they’d be like, “Whoa! Holy shit!” so you keep it to yourself. . Needless to say that girl opened RIGHT up and said she totally did, mentioning things like wanting multiple guys at once and some other stuff. But you would have never known that was in her. The girl barely swore. But her fake boobs ended up being sooo nice, and what was nicer was seeing her body naked, because she was so prim and proper. Come to think of it, I’ve played with a lot of those girls who you’d never suspect, at first glance, had a naughty side to them. I love it by the way. But then again, I love all kinds of women, nakedness and sexual attitudes.

        • So how did day one of RL takes on fruit and veggies go?

          Me and my day? Crabby – blaming it on the moon and this fucking cast on my wrist! Didn’t get to workout cuz i had meetings paired with a throbbing wrist.
          Where’s my windy city boi to cheer me up?
          I had a hot fudge sundae to boot….
          If I don’t make some decent tips tomorrow at work….grrrrrr

  7. Pingback: When Being Nice Gets you NO Where.. « This is Me.. For All Its Worth.. Journal Blog

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