Solving the “I am Unworthy of an Attractive Woman” Issue (Part I)

Themesong of the Day:

Reblogged from over at Ozzie’s Blog.  This guy is totally on point on a lot of shit holding us back in life and especially in dating.  So I figure I would share this three part article with you all here.  Enjoy.  ~Ronnie L

Inner permission

You can’t look at this issue in dating without looking at other areas of our society. If you don’t, you run the risk of not seeing the big picture. We live in a society that makes people feel unworthy of things in order to make them buy. We live in a society that breeds inadequacy in order to make you buy a better car, bigger house or a wonderful life. Without this culture of making you feel incomplete, we wouldn’t have a thriving economy. We must step out of this societal matrix in order to give ourselves “inner permission” to feel worthy of something, that you deserve things just as you are, without adding anything new.

But “I am not good at this”, “I am a defective item”, “I am unworthy”, “I am not good enough”

How can you give yourself “inner permission” when you feel unworthy of good things? Simply, you can’t. Not only that, when you feel “flawed” you feel like nobody ever is going to give you what you want. If you look at this issue with a magnifying glass, you will see that it affects other areas of your life, not only dating. At work, you fail to ask for the raise that you deserve. At family reunions, you try not to rock the boat by speaking your mind. With your friends, you probably never ask for too many favours in order not to make them uncomfortable. You remain needless and wantless. You get used to misery.

We need to learn to ask for what we want to others

As men we don’t want to ask. But if you don’t ask you won’t receive. Society tells you as men you have to go out and “conquer the world” but society never tells you, “You must go out and ask for what you want.” It is considered a weakness to ask others because it leaves you vulnerable to rejection. Let me explain how this happens in dating.

“Guy: I am from the land of beer, Germany

Girl: wow. Loved Germany when I was there.

Guy: Do you live here in the UK?

Girl: yes. I have made some friends and…..

Guy: Do you like it here?

Girl: I do. But……

Guy: What is your name?

Girl: Lucy…

Guy: Nice name. Do you like travelling?

Girl: I am going to the toilet. See you later.”

And the end.

This dialogue or interrogation reflects the undeserving mentality we have discussed before. In an attempt to avoid rejection, guys won’t ask for the things they want or need from a girl and instead substitute with meaningless queries.

Let’s see how a guy who feels he is worth it and doesn’t mind being rejected would face the challenge of meeting a new girl:

Guy: Hey, I just saw you from across the room and had to come and say hi.

Girl: Hi. What’s your name?

From the beginning, he is stating he came to find out about her, he is not hiding his intention of meeting her. Sooner rather than later he would take a further risk to either ask her number to go on a date or simply spend the rest of the night with him to get to know each other.

Two guys with different mindsets will act differently when they meet a beautiful girl.

Asking for what you want is key

If you want to defeat those feelings of unworthiness, you must learn to ask for what you want from a woman and allow room for her to say no. But you must take the risk.

If you want beautiful girls, you must walk up to them and start an interaction. In doing this some will want to hang out with you and others won’t. However, in the process you will teach yourself you are worthy of those girls. At least more than the next guy who hangs by the bar. If you keep at it you will end up dating some of those girls if you have the courage to ask. Ask for what you want. Then allow them to say “no” if they must. Keep reminding yourself it is none of your business how they respond to you. But it is your business to ask for what you want.

Conflict vs. wants

If you grew up in a family culture where every time you ask for something (a bike, a new toy, a holiday trip) it created conflict with your parents, you will have trouble with the above. Family cultures live with you and if you were trained since you were a child, not to get what you want or create a conflict if you wanted something, you will have tremendous problems asking for it as an adult. Children of such families lose the ability to be individuals, not free to act for themselves. They grow up with no sense of self or personal needs . If you grew up in such dysfunction, you won’t rely on others to solve your problems.

You are trained to “tough it up” and to take care of your own problems. They are no one else’s business but yours.

But it takes two to tango

In dating, you must realize it is not entirely up to you. You must rely on others, in this case, women. If you want to have choice in dating, part of the solution is in the girl’s hands. You must rely on others. However, your job remains to ask for what you want. You must walk up to her, start the interaction, and tell her you want to get to know her because you think she is cool. Believe me, women are dying to meet a guy who knows what he wants.

Dating challenge

Walk up to 5 attractive girls and ask them to go on a date with you within 5 minutes of meeting them. Take rejection if you must. Your only goal is to be able to ask for what you want. Ask and you shall receive.

Solving the “I am Unworthy of an Attractive Woman” Issue (Part I). – Read the Original Article and more from Ozzie <———-  😉

Check out Ozzie’s Blog here…

12 responses to “Solving the “I am Unworthy of an Attractive Woman” Issue (Part I)

      • I’ll have to see the other portions of it. I mean I’m not talking about the whole player aspect of it, its just good you know? 🙂

  1. So I came back to read this again and this applies to women as well… It’s like, I never had a problem asking a guy out or what have you… This is the very thing I’m talking about and have told female friends about asking for what they want and to me it comes with having a standard and what are they looking for and not accepting less… definitely not accepting less than they deserve. Now, for me it’s not all about getting laid, it’s more about finding someone to spend my time with… sex is inevitable but it’s about liking who I’m with “enough” to sleep with them in the first place. How cool you put this up today because I’ve been gearing up to write an article about sex 🙂 … why and why not type of thing.

    • Not everyone gets into stuff like this to just get laid. It’s pretty hard for the average guy out there (That’s what she said. 😉 ) to even approach and meet the women they like. Even more challenging is actually telling a girl that they like her once they do approach. I Guess the average guy out there, statistically, has only 4 sexual partners on average for his entire life. That’s startling to me. Society tells men to be Nice.. It will just happen. Worry about sexual harassment. Worry about what others think. Worry about what she thinks. Worry about her calling the cops. Worry about getting sprayed with mace. Worry that you’re too old, too fat, don’t make enough money, she might think you’re creepy, wrong place, wrong time, inappropriate, some other guy might beat you up.. The list goes on forever and guys have been locked out in their own minds by fear to even say HI to girls they think are attractive. That’s SHIT. So throw aside the player aspect. Some guys can’t even get into the game.

      • LOL 🙂 That’s what she said LOL ! I’ll come back tomorrow, I’m exhausted and don’t have much cranium left, but it’s good to see you in better spirits 🙂

        One thing I must say is that men and women, they go through the same shit… yet, they fight over it like they’re the only ones. I watch and see and read, personal experiences etc., and we all go through the same things. I like the way he breaks up the article too… I may use that technique on some of my things… much more concise, I like his style.

        • Ya. I love his blog. Lots of Vlogging too. Buh’hut that being said IF someone else’s shit, or OPP as I like to call it, (other people’s posts, perv 😉 ) end up here it’s because I find it quality shit. I am super picky and in the world of dating and seduction advice there is a TON of horseshit out there so consider me the filter of quality. ;P So ya. I also figure these articles can be applied to women, and even other areas of life. Glad you liked my pos… Ahem re-post .

          • OPP? What was OPP usta be? Hey… that rhymes! LOL…

            Honey, I tell you something, it’s all horseshit. It really is… I mean from top to bottom it’s all horseshit. I would like to be all like, look how easy it is and it’s not that hard, although I can understand how it would be and could be.

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