So I got into a little discussion on twitter. There is an article about a study that was done by @ that suggests that:
This inspired me to write a LONG thought about article that will be SUPER POWERFUL for guys at intermediate to advanced level if they can learn to take advantage of what I am about to share here. This is NOT something that I think anyone else out there is really talking about, and has come from a LOT of time in field and having a LOT of successful as well as unsuccessful interactions.
In reference to the twitter comment above: Since I think relationships are not really well known or talked about (just like getting sexual) by most “Guru’s” in the Pickup and Seduction community, probably because it’s not something most of them have a lot of actual experience with (that’s another story – and the same reason, IMO so many of them don’t really discuss getting sexual that often – not to bag on all the guys coaching or teaching this stuff, there are some guys (albeit very few) who have some GREAT stuff that teaches getting sexual – I have reblogged a few of them in the past. Will list some at the bottom for your perusal.) I have been inspired to share this with you – since this post is both powerful for creating relationships AS WELL AS helping you escalate ANY PART of the interaction to the next level.
This article about something I have been teaching guys lately that I discovered through lots of trial and error (but that’s what experience is for, right? 😉 ) It’s about something I call Windows. These are not your basic IOIs. These are moments that a girl will give us, without even thinking (or maybe sometimes she does but I think this is quite spontaneous) where she is giving us the opportunity to step up the relationship to a higher level. I like to give real life examples so I will give you 3 or 4 with hopes that you will pick up my meaning of what exactly a Window is. (I supposed I could call it an Escalation window but this is not necessarily JUST for getting sexual – it encompasses all aspects of taking the interaction to a higher level whether that be right off the bat within the first couple minutes, an hour in, a few days in etc.
So let’s get into it with some EXAMPLES of MISSING the WINDOWS:
The first time I remember noticing this was once after I had an awesome 3 days with a burlesque dancer, and she called me telling me how she really liked me; “I REALLLLY Like you…” she said over the phone. Then she proceeded to ask me if she could come over and spend the night. I was pretty good at game back then, but I was kinda inexperienced with relationships. Basically I was a little over-gamee and figured the way to make her want me more was to DENY her coming to see me. Sometimes game is great, other times it can kill any attraction a woman has for you. But that’s why we go out and practice this stuff. So I told her, “no.. I can’t tonight.”
Well, soon things were done. The attraction was over, she stopped calling me and I couldn’t even get her out on a date. This was a girl who just got done exclaiming to me how much she really liked me, and now she wasn’t even interested. How did that happen?
It’s because when she asked to come over, she opened that window for me to take things to the next level. I didn’t bite. That was her spontaneous self expressing, “Hey, I like you, let’s make this something more.” And to her, MY self said, “No, I’m not interested. Sorry…” Even though that’s not really what I said, she took it that way, and there was no going back. Window opened and closed – never to open again.
Another time I was with a girl. I fucked her at her house. I REALLY liked this girl too. It was the third time we got together. She asked me to spend the night. I had an old dog at that time, and I loved him. And I knew he was on his last legs, and I worked all the fucking time so I wanted to be there for him as much as possible. I didn’t want him to be alone at night. So i couldn’t stay the night. I told her this exact reason.
A couple days later she texted me she had a lot going on and couldn’t see me anymore. She opened that, “Let’s take things further” window and I failed to step through. She didn’t hear anything about a dog. She SPONTANEOUSLY FELT that MOMENT, Opened the window and I failed to step through, so that window CLOSED never to open again.
I never saw that girl again.
Recently I was dealing with some health issues. I had a girl who I just closed, and she also started to like me. She called me one day after I talked to her on the phone and told me she wanted to come see me after work. Because my health issues were fucking me up, I didn’t call her back. Guess what? Same story. She sort of disappeared off the map. When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS urge to reach out and take things to the next level, she opened that WINDOW and I failed to step through, never to have that window open again.
A long time ago I was with a girl and was escalating. She was resisting a little. But then we had a nice It’s On Moment in a book store (in the children’s section of all places lol) where we started making out. She said, “Weren’t you saying something about going back to your place?” I decided to PUSHwhen I should have PULLED and said something like, “Maybe… We’ll see what happens.” And guess what? We never ended up back at my place. When I tried to pull her back later she said it was getting late and that she had to work the next day. I never ended up fucking her. When that SPONTANEOUS window opened, I didn’t step through and it closed FOREVER.
Same thing happened to a Wingman of mine who opened a chick in daygame. She was clearly giving him the signal that if he would have escalated they would have probably had sex. I left them hinting that I wanted to let them be isolated, but within 5 minutes he came over alone. I told him he could have fucked her, and it totally dawned on him, “Ya. I could have.”
When he went back to try and re-initiate with the girl he said she acted Weird and unresponsive. That’s right, you guessed it. When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS moment and he didn’t take advantage she chalked it up to her imagination, felt that he MUST NOT be the guy she thought he was (incongruence) and when he tried to reopen that window she felt WEIRD about it.
EXAMPLES – Doing it Right!
Once I was on a date with a chick (who to this date still has the record of biggest natural boobs on a chick I had sex with. Oh how I miss them.) We were walking from the coffeeshop to the bar next door. I felt the MOMENT that I should kiss her. I went, out of the blue, for the kiss. She DENIED me. She said she wasn’t ready yet. However, at the end of the night when I walked her to her car, we started making out hardcore. Soon she was asking, “Where did you park? I’ll walk drive you to your car.” Then she wanted to listen to music I had mentioned earler and asked if I had some in my car…
Anyone with any experience at this game knows what that means… For those of you who don’t (or are just literalists) she wanted to fuck me in my car. Oh the glory of seeing her laying back on my car seat with those huge boobs out for the first time! 😉
On a date with a girl, who said she wanted a cigarette, but we were only on our FIRST DRINK on our date. I felt like that was a hint from her to me, because we were just talking about sexuality. I suggested we go to my place, because she could smoke there and it was only a couple blocks away. She smoked her cigarette and soon she was giving me what I still consider the best blowjob of my life and she had one of the most amazingly clean and yummy vaginae (I still can’t get over the plural of the word vagina). I have ever came across.
A girl was at my place and she said pretty early on, “I am NOT fucking you.” But she stuck around and kept shit-testing me while we drank some wine. I kept escalating despite her resistance but she STAYED. That whole thing was a WINDOW. She kept it open as long as I was stepping through and within an hour or so she said, “Why don’t you just fuck me already and get it over with.” If I would have took her resistance at face value and stopped escalating (PS for those of you playing at home, this is not the weird Rapee escalation shit so many feminists are yammering about. It is simply verbal sparring, touching a little but push pulling, maybe some RJ style escalation patterning, and always giving her the OPTION to leave. I always sit in a place where the girl has an easy way out. That shows her subconsciously you are not trying to corner her. I always sit so she has EASY access to the closest door out, and even in this case when she said, “I’m not fucking you tonight.” I simply replied, “Well I don’t know what you’re doing here then. If there’s 0% chance of us fucking you may just want to go home so we both don’t waste any time.”
Her response was, “I’m not passing up an opportunity to drink some good wine.”
That was her opening the WINDOW. It was my job to step through.
A girl I was serving once back in the day when I was a server, gave me her facebook at my suggestion because I was working and figured it would be too much to get her number while serving her. (Calibration is a powerful thing.) Later she sent me a friend request that I accepted. She lived in Marathon and I lived in Key West. A couple days later I saw her Status Update on her wall, that was NOT addressed to me or anyone else in particular which said, “Heading to the Keys today to do a little sight seeing.”
I replied to her status, “Must be nice. I’m working till tonight.”
She replied, “Well maybe I’ll stop by and say Hi when you’re off work.”
MOMENT. She KNEW on some level what she was going for when she posted her status. If I saw it or not would have made no difference to her, as an emotional creature. The fact that I did, However, let her live in that SPONTANEOUS moment she created. She opened a window I stepped through.
When she showed up later to say, “Hi.” she was dressed to the 9’s in a summer dress, and done up. My coworker asked me, “Do you know her? She’s BEEAAUUTIFFULL!”
And that girl became my Long Term Girl for about 2 years.
I know this is a long post and there are a lot of examples, but this is because this element of game is VERY difficult for guys to learn and many times you will MISS these windows and not realize it until AFTER which is too late. So, my purpose with these examples is to give your mind an in idea to grab onto so you can really learn something. This is not something guys out there are teaching about because it takes a LOT of experience to see this kind of thing.
To break it down:
1. Window Opens.
2. Guys Steps Through or he doesn’t.
3. Window closes never to open again.
What side of the window do you want to be on?
Comments, Questions, Concerns?
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Until next time!