The Dream and the Demonologist

So last night I had a dream that seemed to last most of the night.  Even if I woke up and fell back asleep, the dream would continue.  I am writing this dream down because I wholly look at it as a healing dream or as a dream that signifies that I am, on a subconscious level, doing some LONG NEEDED healing.  I’m not gonna get into the details of what needed to be healed about me, but know that it is something or things, (Dan) rather, that I have wanted to fix for a long time, AND they were those kinds of things that were STUCK.  And I can confidently say WERE as in the past tense because I firmly believe that these dreams I have been having lately with the culmination of this last one (not describing them all in this post but just the series from last night) are the beginning for sure of the healing process I have been seeking.

This all started by listening to a flood of positive affirmations and some hypnosis, I THINK.  I think the key is, like other positive affirmations and self-hypnosis is actually listening to the suggestions that your mind gives you soon after or even during the sessions.  By the way, I was trying the FREE stuff on here.  Good stuff imo.  Yes, I have done LOTS of self-hypno in the past as well as affirmations but I am saying that the CHANGE started to happen with the audios from this site specifically.

You British fucks can benefit because she’s right by you so you might even be able to set up something live with her.  Her name is Jessica Robbins.  I’m not sure how I found her but I did.  Google, yes, I just don’t remember specifically what I was searching for or if she was top listed or I dug a little, which I am apt to do.

Well after some particular sessions I think I was getting the suggestion to go try and seek out a professional Hypnotherapist.  So I did.  I went with the same amount of skepticism as I always do with many things.  But at the same time I went with an open mind.  In other words I wasn’t just going to go in all, “I know this will work” and not question anything, but instead I would go in and let her prove she knew her shit and could make it work.

So I went for like 3 sessions.  And I gotta say I started noticing my dreams changed.  Instead of rambling on about what she did or what I think, or whatever I think the dream is why I’m writing this so let’s just get to that, but I will say if you are stuck on a particular issue or whatever, in your life, seek out a good physiotherapist near you and get to work.

The Dream:

So I just remember being stuck in old Soviet Russia, you know when the Berlin Wall was still up and they had that shit locked up tighter than an oyster.  Or if there is some other country in the world these days that once you’re in you’re in and once you’re out you’re out – that kind of place.  But I was an American so, no worries.  I was with some Russian dude that was trying to defect though, and I THINK I might have been trying to help him.  Somehow something happened and things got fucked.  He ended up having American Citizenship and I somehow got my papers fucked up so that I was stuck as a Russian Citizen and could not leave.  (i.e. TRAPPED – I.e. my repeating challenges that I seemed STUCK with in my life – if I was a dream seer and had to translate, that is.)

So I started trying to figure out how to escape.  I ended up meeting some Americans, I THINK, who had this GIANT train.  I told them my predicament and they said I could hide on their train and we could leave the county and go to America on the train.  Apparently in Dream World the Ocean separating those places is irrelevant.  Fine with me.  So I jumped in, and I just remember all this cool shit, that, unfortunately blurred here.  But at one point I remember we were coming to the border and were about to be searched.  According to the train people, the train was so large that they could never search the whole thing and if I just hid I would most likely be overlooked.  So I tried hiding.

Now at this point I woke up.  Then I went to the bathroom and fell back asleep.  Here’s the thing.  So somehow when I re-entered dream world I either did something to get off the train or I was OFF the train, and it was leaving.  I tried getting in my car, that happened to be there, to chase it, and I even tried willing myself back on the train but nothing.  Here’s the thing, though.  One of the guys on the train gave me his number earlier so I texted him what happened.  I don’t remember if I got a response or not but the idea basically was, “There’s no way in this car I am going to catch that train.”

But I DID find myself on another train.  And that was cool with me.  I was still trying to escape.  I asked someone where the train was going, and the person told me “Southeast Asia.”  I was like, “Ahh FUCK!”  Seriously?  But then quickly my REAL LIFE Ideal took over and I thought, “Go with whatever path life takes you on.  Flow.  Be in the moment.”

So I did just that, and I was chilling on the train on my laptop.  Soon we come to a stop, and apparently the train was going to be there a couple minutes, so I got off the train and took a look around.  And it was Beautiful.  I was on like a Tropical, type place, very nice, very island-ee, I remember carvings of like totems or cigar store indians and wooden signs.  Oh, it was a village.  Blue skies, palm trees, near the ocean – just what I like… 😉

The train announced that is was leaving.  I was off the train and my laptop was still ON the train.  Choices – leave the laptop (essentially cut myself off from the world I know) and stay or go grab the laptop, risk that the door would close and I would be stuck on the train and not be able to experience or explore this current destination.

Similar to this but more drab, lead, grey. Did have some designs carved in it but looked more plain and old as I said.

I decided to leave the laptop and explore.  Soon, as I was looking around this captivating village, I came across a little hut.  I remember reading the sign and it was the hut belonging to a demonologist I had heard about in Dream World before, I think on dreamworld TV.  It was like this old man, very Witch Doctor style.  The fact that he wasn’t really catholic or Christian both intrigued me, as a believer in God, or more appropriately the “Great Spirit” or Creator, but also made me a little skeptical because he was casting out people’s demons as a NON traditional, catholic or Christian.  This is a long story about why I think that, so I will just summarize by saying, part of me thinks that God is of Christianity, or even more so Judiasm, but a bigger part of me says that God is much older and has different Aspects he has send down through the ages, to different cultures etc to represent himself.  I really think scenario B is more likely, but that Jesus was the most RECENT incarnation on this planet, not the ONLY incarnation or aspect that God has used when visiting the earth to do some massive healing or enlightening work.

Similar to this but not as ornate and fancy, more just dull, lead, gray, with some designs in it. Not as shiny.

So into the hut I go.  I seek the council of the demonologist to see if I do have a demon that was harassing me.  I walk in a dark room, and the old man stands behind a desk with some fetishes and artifacts on it, all very simple, and there’s another table in front of me with a small, round ashtray looking thing on it.  It was dark gray, metallic, had 3 grooves in it like an ash tray would.  And off to his right, my left, was another man with dark hair, gray speckled, just wearing a gray shirt and looking unremarkable in appearance.  I assumed it was his assistant.

I think the first thing I remember when I walked closer to that table with the ashtray is the overwhelming desire to embrace how I felt, or perhaps how it made me feel, even if I felt like it was me doing it, not some other force controlling me. But perhaps that’s how this shit works.  I walked up, saw the table with the “ashtray looking object” and became enraged.  I shouted at the man, “What are you going to do now??” and other threatening proclamations as I violently Flipped the table forward towards him as hard as I could, maybe even throwing it and hitting him.

He was gone.  I don’t know if he left or just disappeared but he was gone.  The room was still there and his assistant was still there, sitting calmly as if nothing was amiss.  I just remember him saying calming words to me as I started floating near the second table and the assistant.  Then he reached out and hugged me, and said he understood, and asked if I really wanted to be free of the demon I had.

I said I hated it, I didn’t want it there anymore except for maybe, I always liked the floating part (I fly and float a lot in my dreams and I fucking LOVE it.) He hugged me some more, in a very caring way, this unremarkable man, and here I was thinking that what I did would be shocking to them.  But where was the old man, the Demonologist?  Soon I saw him hobbling back into the room on one crutch.  I must have injured him, I thought but still turned my attention to him.  I can’t remember at this point whether I was enraged or threatening him again or if I was just talking to him or whatever, but what I do know is as I tried to talk, he pointed or tapped me on the mouth (maybe with his cane or his crutch or hands, I can’t recall) and I felt a quick SNAP in my whole being and out of my mouth flew this Large, red/orange flaming skull type looking thing that screamed as it retreated off into somewhere.  I remember the old man chasing it, and I remember chasing the old man but I couldn’t keep up and they both were gone.  And then I woke up.

And I feel today, that, perhaps, I did release some evil shit from me last night.  That indeed some healers came.  Maybe it was on a subconscious level, or maybe it was dreamworld spirits, or maybe a little of both.  But all I can say is I feel absolutely hopeful now that I am going to be able to conquer and heal from some shit that has been bothering me for a long time…

The closest thing I could find to the old man in my dream. Also, nothing colorful or fancy about the guy, maybe dressed in all brown colors, like furs and cloth-robes or something.

My Humiliating Dream

Before you continue reading, know this is a pretty vulgar and maybe a little disturbing post, so if you are easily offended and don’t like dirty words, language and situations then read a different post or come back for my next post.  Ok..  I warned you.  Don’t be mad at me if you read this and say, “Oh that’s fucking wrong!”

I have dreams every night, and mostly they are vivid.  I have created a happy land of adventure and cool shit where sometimes I fly, sometimes I do magic, sometimes I go on random adventures with interesting people; mostly, I think, because of my sleep apnea and because of the fact that I have been forced to spend so much time sleeping or trying to recover from shitty sleep.  (But now I have a mask and machine after finding out what they hell my problem was after years of having it and not knowing.  So Good News!)

Mostly they are good dreams.  I can’t recall having many nightmares.  Once in a while I have disturbing dreams that make me feel all weird the next morning, but they aren’t usually what I consider nighmares.  And this dream last night was no nightmare either, but it was fucked up and make me a little pissed that I had it.  (So if you were reading this thread expecting some Pick Up version of Martin Luther King… FAIL.  Sorry about your luck.)

Dreams, to me, are like Monty Python or Mr Show with Bob and David sketches.   Basically one situation flows into the next seamlessly.  So I won’t get too much into how I got to where I was in the dream, but I will get to the Seduction Based part.

I was in this room, chilling, waiting for some people to get back that took off to go do something.  For whatever reason these two cute girls show up, and as usual, I start flirting and am, as usual, doing well; being charming and fun.  They are attracted and smiling.  I’m thinking to myself in the dream, “Ok… things are going well.”  I side hug one of the girls and am feeling like attraction is building and everything is going along splendidly.

Soon a group of average, everyday dudes kind of show up out of no where and surround me and try gaming my chicks out from under me.  Maybe there are like six or so of them.  So I play back and lightly take the piss out of them saying something like, “Wow, it’s like a couple girls show up and you guys act like you’re drowning and you’re trying to get to an island.” (Something like that.  I’m not for sure exactly.)

One of the guys laughs, and for a split second I thought he was laughing with me like, “good shot,” but then the next frame of the dream is me seeing the chicks I had just thought I was doing good with sitting on the couch next to the guys.  I’m thinking to myself, “these guys wont get anywhere.  They’re chodes.”  Something like that.

But soon enough I see the girl and guy I’m focused on.  I see where the girl I like tries kissing him and he pulls away for a second, making her chase.  I feel a little disappointed.  This average douche (which is what they guys were in the dream, typical average douchebag guys) was getting further than I was in the same amount of time.  He was actually making the girl chase when I was just being “friendly side-hug guy.”

And something grabbed my attention for a split section so I looked away.  But then, loudly, something else happened that jerked my attention back.  The guy had climbed up on the couch, pants dropped around his knees and was fucking this girl in her mouth, with her just sitting there going along with it.  It happened really fast, and the thing is, the guy next to him was kinda doing the same thing with his chick.  Here these douchbag guys come out of no where and, where my game is just getting some fun vibes going with the chicks, these guys have, just as quickly, gotten down to using these chick’s faces as fuck holes, and the chicks were eagerly going along with it.

And then to top it off, I go back to watching the girl I like and the dude.  The dude ends up blowing his wad all over the girl’s face and, I guess, a little got on him.  She had a big smile on her face and she started wiping the cum off of him with her hair.  And then she was all nice, and affectionate with him, kissing him and trying to please him… To which he basically got up, and threw up all over her head.  Like, he literally vomited on her head as if, “fuck this worthless bitch.  I have no respect for her and I can use and abuse her as I please and she’ll love it.”

And it pissed me off.  I woke up right after that thinking all sorts of shit.

1. Is that the reality for guys out there?  Am I playing with these chicks and thinking I’m doing so well when in reality average dudes just come along and fuck chicks.  In other words, am I being a pussy?  Am I settling for trying to be charming, and fun and attractive to these chicks and trying to seduce them and really it’s a fucking sad excuse because really inside I’m a pussy, and if I were a real man I should just be able to go fuck some chick in the mouth a minute or two after meeting her? . . . Like this is the reality of what happens behind the scenes with girls and the men they are attracted to?
Am I being too much of a nice guy?  Am I not a man?  Am I a pussy?  That’s sort of the thoughts that went through my mind…

I’m not saying I want to throw up on a chick by the way…  Facefucking a chick is fun and everything, and maybe aggressive can be too, but it’s the point that I guess the question in this dream I was facing is, despite all my years of being in this game, learning a lot, being pretty good with women, am I just a piece of shit and in reality the average guy out there not only does better than me, but blows me away as far as seduction?

Are women, in turn, all just dirty sluts waiting to get fucked by someone who’s man enough to seduce them and get them horny?  Is it that, regardless of how she acts towards me, regardless of who she is, regardless of her status in the world, if a real man comes along she will throw all pretense aside and just wanna give herself over COMPLETELY to him even to the point of being degraded and humiliated?

Is this the shit that’s really going on in my subconscious mind?   Huh

Anyway…  Anyone have any thoughts or questions or does anyone have any specific knowledge of dreams?


Humiliating Dalai Lama Joke

Flying Birthday


Today it is raining like crazy today in Chicago as I write this, but last night I was flying again.  I love to fly.  It’s very cerebral, very ‘right’ somehow….  This is far from the first time i’ve done it but it seems like i’m improving from when I first started.  I used to have to make motions like I was swimming.  It wasn’t the same as swimming at all.  I would maybe make slight movements as if I were pushing the air or ether downward and it would propell me pretty far, and i didn’t have to do it continuous either.  I might just push my arms a little and go pretty far., not like miles or yards; maybe more like several feet.

I haven’t really flown very far up yet.  I’m usually very near the ground but I fly up a bit.  Last night was different though.  It’s as if I was getting better at flying; more like hovering now or like some super advanced form of levitation.  I remember just sort of putting my right hand out, I think as a focus and some
sort of balance, and sort of just willing myself to float up rather quickly.  But it’s not instant.  It’s like pushing a throttle from the mind to the body.  I think, but not really think, “fly up” and I start to go up, slowly at first, and then the crawl speeds up in momentum, and soon I raise up.

I was toying with this new way to fly last night.  It was apparently my birthday.  I was having a birthday party I suppose, like it was going on, and were apparently a good number of people at the party, but I don’t really remember who exactly.  People I know, maybe, from dreamland.  I think I celebrated but then decided to sort of wander off unnoticed from the revelry and go flying around this building.  It was pretty large, dall, wooden, wide and tan.  For some reason as I write this I want to describe it as a very immense chinese tea house with multiple levels to it.

Click for an article on this building from Japan Property Central

Something similar to this but in a forest...

I was just flying from one tier to the next or from the ground up to one of the tiers. Practicing my new found way to fly around. I realise now that, where before I would have to paddle my arms to get air and movement, that that was very basic.  It was Noob flying 101.  And here I was always trying to impress people with it all the while thinking I was doing something cool, when in reality I was just learning.  Actually I think I happened upon it by accident by hanging out with my werewolf buddy from childhood dreamland, but I’m not sure.  (I wonder whatever happened to him.  I haven’t seen him it literally years.)  Anyway, we would jump very far back in those days.  Leaping very high up, I mean HIGH.  We would leap, and if you’ve ever leaped great distances before you know that you leap in a great arc.  To say that you don’t use your arms to balance staying up right and landing on your two feet goes without saying.  When you spring upward you sort of bolt upward, your arms to your side, until you reach the peak of your leap.  Then, of course, as you land, your arms lift out to your sides, quite naturally, in a slight arc like they are wings or supports so that you are well balanced and don’t smash your face into the pavement when you land, which would probably hurt and most likely you would wake up in your bed realizing, “Ah. Fuck. It was just a dream.”

I think the natural progression was, ok, let me keep flying up and see what happens..  So then I could float in the air and control my movements by pushing the air around.  You don’t have to stick your body out straight to fly (like superman) either.  That’s just silly.  You’re in the air.  You have the ability to fly around.  Why does your body have to be in a certain position, or lie flat just to do it?  I would float around in a sitting position or lay flat or pretty much have my body in whatever position I wanted it to be in.

But then last night was different.  I wasn’t doing the pushing anymore.  I was trying out the mental flying aspect.  I was standing up straight as a board; just putting my right arm out and maybe closing my hand a little to focus, then up I’d go.  I remember, at one point, floating up to the top of the building and then landing.  Then I wanted to step off, but I was pretty fucking high up.  My initial reaction was to think to myself, “What happens if I fall?” But then I quickly reminded myself I flew up here so I could probably be fine if I just stepped off.  I did.  And I floated, but it’s not like I just stepped off onto some solid, invisible bridge.  You actually do start to fall a little, but then focusing makes you float back up, almost in a little arc forward; dipping a little but then coming back to where you originally started wanting t fly.  I don’t know why that is; why you would return to where you started to want to fly and not just start floating where you stopped dipping but there must be some reason to it.

And that was that.  I’m actually pretty interested in how I will be flying in my next flying dream.  Is it going to be the old way or will I be practicing the new way.  If you have’t tried it yet, you should.  That’s a joke, unless you are some sort of lucid dreamer.  So far I’m not. I have to take my flights quite by chance but that’s cool. I love surprises…



What does flying is dreams mean?

This creepy looking guy has some nice insight:

He has a pretty interesting article about it here:

Apparently I have entered the realm of the Gods!  Don’t be Jealous!!! 😉