Learn to Love Yourself and a Special Event Coming Up

But here’s the thing, man. Anyone who ever wants to have some cool shit learned on this topic in a cool ass way, throw this on in the background while you are surfing the web and start paying attention to when you start hearing the chick talk…  (I have a wing and friend who told me one of the things I do best is start a conversation with someone like we were already in the middle of a discussion… 😉 )

I don’t wanna be a mass personality.  I don’t wanna be a “one-dimension”. I wanna be me.  I wanna be human.  I don’t WANNA BE A SLAVE!

We dress a certain way, we walk a certain way, we talk a certain way, we create a certain way, we paint a certain way, we… We make love a certain way.  You know. All of these things we do in a different, unique, specific way that is personally ours.

I wanna do this the way I wanna do it. I wanna determine my own destiny.

And we decided that it is time for us to take over our own lives and do it the way we know we wanna do it, as opposed to someone else continually depersonalizing us and telling us how we’re supposed to do something, because they’re viewing us through THEIR eyes, NOT through OUR EYES.

But FIRST, learn to love yourself.  That is, your REAL self.  And that’s very hard to do and I’m still trying to do it.

The process of change is very painful, and it’s very tedious, and it’s very SLOW.  The process of change comes through conflict… Sometimes, even, you know, even suffering.  Of being aware. Observing yourself.  Watching yourself.  So you can begin to LOVE yourself. And if you can love yourself, there ain’t nothin’ you can’t do, you know?  Then I say, “I love myself so much that I can start loving you, and you can start loving me.” And the next thing is to begin to try and love someone else!

But to the degree to that you give love, is the degree that you get love back.  So that if I ain’t got none in me, I can’t get none back. It don’t matter whether they’re a doctor, lawer or indian chief.  It’s not, “I am a… a.. I am an Actor.”  Or, “I am a Doctor.” It’s, “I AM!” and if I AM, there ain’t nothing else that’s important.

SIDECAR:

Coming up in The Midwest Lair

The ZAN Lair talk…

What: Zan Perrion Midwest Lair Talk

When: Sunday, June 14th at 7pm CST
Where: Skype or Google Hangouts – Stay Tuned

That’s right. The man, the myth, the legend – Zan Perrion himself will be giving a talk for us. I couldn’t be more excited and you know that it’s rare that a seduction or pickup coach impresses me. 😉 This is one of the greats who was already great when I was still a scrub-nub learning the ropes.

Zan Perrion is a writer, author of Alabaster Girl, motivational speaker, and life coach based originally in Vancouver, B.C. One of the founding members of today’s “burgeoning community of international pickup artists”, he has advocated a more natural and enlightened form of interaction between men and women.

How to get involved?

Join the lair then once you’re accepted click the link below link… See you on the flipside.

https://www.facebook.com/events/447200595454663/

Advertisements

Microcalibration Mini-Course – Everything You Need To Know to Step Up Your Game to Another Level

Microcalibration

Ah yes.  So many completely are unaware of the concepts these days, or are doing it completely wrong.  And yet this is SUCH an INTEGRAL part of game, probably one of the top 5 things you should REALLY know and know WELL if you ever want to get past the MASS approach and into a little more finesse based game.  This is the shit that separates the men from the boys, so to speak. Many guys may think they know this but most guys I come across really do not.  That’s why a MAJORITY of guys either have problems with cocky/funny, push/pull or negs, or getting dates, or why so many guys JUST CAN’T SEEM to hook those sets – because they are simply unfamiliar with this concept.  This is the basic groundwork for much of your game.  In other word, if you don’t know this your game is probably pretty bad.  When you know this you wont do things like talk about (anymore) how negs don’t work, or ask questions about how come a chick lost interest after you riddled her with IOIs after she was giving you IODs.

This started out as a pointer I gave to a guy who posted an infield video of him doing some approaches in the Midlair, and I wanted to help him understand what he was doing wrong. EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.  I mean, you don’t NEED to know anything, really, but this is something that is KEY to pretty much every one of my Lays and IMO is a key element to the concept of what game is.

I think, personally, I am writing this because I am lazy a little and I think this will be a great link to just copy-paste when so many new guys, or even experienced guys have the same issues over and over.  This is DEFINITELY a compilation of OPP (other people’s posts) because I really don’t feel the need to rehash other people’s shit and take credit or try and reinvent the wheel.

This is ABSOLUTELY meant to be a mini-course on Microcalibration, so that if you read, watch and study everything in this video you really should have a pretty solid idea of what Microcalibration is and how to run it in field.  So take your time, book mark it if you need to because there is quite a full course in here and it may take you a bit to get through this and understand the process (especially since there is over an hour of video work alone)  But DON’T SKIP AHEAD!  Do this in order for best results.  Let’s get started.

A simplified micro-calibration version is basically if she is giving you IOI’s you give her IOI’s spiced with IOD’s as intermittent rewarding which will lead toward compliance.

If she gives you an IOD return with an IOD then follow it with an IOI giving her a chance to redeem herself.  This is important.

1. HB: IOI -> PUA: IOI or  IOD -> Repeat

2. HB: IOD -> PUA: IOD then IOI -> Go to option 1

Lovedrop’s Example:

Is there some way to soften the impact when showing interest, enabling you to get away with it while still preserving your own value and her comfort levels?

Yes! Simply calibrate the IOI by adding an IOD at the end. For example, if I say to a girl, “I like you,” that is obviously an IOI. Therefore, I will calibrate it by following up with an IOD such as, “. . . Too bad I’m not sure about you yet.”

Mystery might say: “Wow, you are amazing.” [IOI] “I mean, don’t get me wrong . . . in five minutes you could say the wrong thing and totally botch it.” [IOD] In this way he balances interest with disinterest, enabling him to get away with much more than otherwise would have been possible.

The bit of disinterest at the end is what we call an IOD Calibrator, because it allows us to calibrate the impact of the IOI. Mystery teaches to always soften an IOI by adding an IOD calibrator at the end, which allows you to get away with significantly more escalation than you otherwise would have. Gambits and touches that would normally be interpreted as too forward—and thus resisted—are instead welcomed. For example, let’s say that you take a woman’s hand in yours for some innocent and harmless thumb-wrestling. But . . . by taking her hand, you have also just telegraphed interest, and that IOI could very well make her feel more resistant, causing her to pull away. Therefore, you must balance the IOI of taking her hand by adding an IOD calibrator such as by telling her, “Don’t get any funny ideas.”

It’s this slight bit of disinterest that makes it possible to get away with holding her hand when she normally would have pulled away.

Another example of this is to lean back and cross your arms (IOD) as you say, “I’m curious about you . . .” (IOI).

Another example is to hug a woman (IOI), and then push her away saying, “Ok that’s all you get.” (IOD).

Another example is to look away (IOD) as you put your hand on a woman’s shoulder, (IOI) and then a second later, look back in her eyes (IOI) as you release your hand from her shoulder with a little push (IOD).

So, the first principle of microcalibration is to always increase the effectiveness of your IOIs by softening them with an IOD calibrator. This principle should always be at work in your social behavior.

The next principle in microcalibration is to always return disinterest for disinterest. If she gives me an IOD, then I must give her an IOD as well; otherwise I would be rewarding bad behavior. When I take her hand, I am calibrating in real-time to her responses. Does she put her hand in mine and squeeze it a little? Or do I detect even a slight resistance? If I feel that she is pulling back, even slightly, then I will pre-empt things by throwing away her hand.

Because she gave me an IOD (the resistance I felt in her touch), so I will return with an IOD by tossing her hand away with a dismissive brush of my fingers, as if I were discarding a piece of trash. This is called a hand-throw. If you do this properly, she will feel a powerful jolt of  devalidation which will condition her to become more compliant in the future, as well as prompt her to put more effort into gaining your attention and approval. She may even become indignant. I’ve received more than one angry “Did you just throw my hand away?!?!” Women really feel the emotion generated by a well-executed hand-throw.

Sinn’s Example:

This article will assume basic knowledge of the following:

In any human interaction, there are only four means of communication that take place.
IOIs indicators of interest
IODs Indicators of disinterest
DHVs Demos of high value
DLVs Demos of low value
Add in Compliance Tests (CTs) and a base line of punishment reward and you have social interaction in a formula.

This came about because last year I was finding that with some girls I had to neg a million times to get any IOIs while with others they would ask me for my name  right after I opened or tell me I was hot. If I continued DHVing they would get weirded out. However if I started qualifying them it often didn’t take. So I started  putting an IOI in before my qualification attempt it went better.

Wrong
Girl: You’re cute! Where are you from?
Sinn: Buy me a drink before you hit on me! IOD What do you have going for you besides your looks? Compliance test

Right
Sinn: Buy me a drink before you hit on me! IOD You are very pretty IOI.. but beauty is common what do you have going for you besides your looks? CT

The balancing of IOIs and IOD is a key element.

I think of it as a seesaw:
If I throw too may IODs that weighs down one side of the seesaw and I’m an asshole.
If I throw too many IOIs that weighs down the other side making me an AFC
But if I adjust every IOD with a potential IOI and every IOI with a potential IOD I attain balance and my sets work like magic.
Microcalibrating is simply throwing the balancing part of the equation(IOI or IOD) when needed .

Sometimes, for example, you will get sets that will be attracted to you as soon as you open your mouth. Or before.
If a girl approaches you and says she likes your cowboy hat, and you respond with Jealous Girlfriend, you are going backwards in the interaction. By her opening  you, she is telling you she is already attracted to you. Therefore we can respond by saying “thanks, what’s your name?” which would be an IOI in return for hers. We can say then based on how readily she answers. If she’s hesitant or doesn’t immediately ask for my name or try to keep the conversation going (IODS). I will then respond with my own IOD ” buy me a drink before you hit on me”. Then immediately follow up with a compliance test ” and your special because?” when she  answers this I am now in A3 and can start giving her IOIs.

In this way I have now gotten through attraction in 30 seconds.

However if she refuses to answer or she IODs me when I ask her why she’s special, I still have an out…

Her: ” I’m not special ” or ” why are you special?”
Me: Never mind I was just being polite( IOD) oh you have a u shaped smile… ( DHV)

See how there are contingencies of what to based on what her reactions are?

For those of you who are routine stacking it would look something like this:

Her: ” I like your cowboy hat”
You: ” Thanks I actually need a female opinion, who lies more ”
Her: ” opinion”
You: FTC finish opener, stock neg, First routine, next routine ….. Until you get enough IOIs that you start qualifying and it takes.

By not pausing and looking at reactions you are assuming that what you are doing is working. Which it may not be.
By being able to read IOIs we can move into A3 Faster and ultimately into comfort faster and beyond.
Also by knowing that we are getting an IOD or an IOI we can calibrate any routine mid stream to either IOI or IOD.

Take for example the “may I touch your eyes” Line
Sinn: “You have beautiful eyes” IOI
Girl: while rolling her eyes and thinking another loser ” Thanks” IOD
Sinn: May I touch them? IOD

I change the routine based on the reaction she gives me.
However if the same interaction takes place but goes like this:

Sinn: You have beautiful eyes. IOI
Girl: “Thank you so much no one ever says that to me.” IOI

Now I have a sincere response so there is no need for me to throw the second part of the routine.
We want to be able to compliment girls and give them IOIs, however most girls will not yet be comfortable with that until later.
Microcalibrating is simply the act of watching responses and then tailoring the next action toward the response we just got a simplified version would state that we respond to IOIs with IOIs, IODs with IODs and we constantly test for compliance.

Through microcalibrating based on reactions while following the M3 model we can greatly increase our ability to get results. Microcalibrating also has a place in kino escalation.  If I make out with a girl on day 1 and then see her again the next day I will want to test to see where her willingness to kiss me again is, so I microcalibrate. I move in as I hug her and I pause. I now watch to see if she looks nervous or uncomfortable. If she doesn’t I go for it. If she looks uncomfortable then I push her off  and increase personal space so that the next time I get close she’s more comfortable and I can go for it. Same thing once we are holding hands I will slide my finger tips away from hers to see if she follows them. Is she does I will pull her closer to me, if she doesn’t I  throw her hand off.

A key to microcalibrating is remembering that IODs are not always negs. It would be weird if when a girl refused to qualify herself I told her she was a little shit. Instead they are simply ways of showing that we are not interested, they can be removal of kino, backturns, pauses in the conversation, eye rolls, as well as negs and  disqualifiers.

A few other keys to micro calibrating by watching the reactions you’re causing you can either soften or harden a routine

EX:
Sinn: You and I are never going to get along”(IOD)
Girl: why not I think we’d get along fine (IOI)
Sinn: we’re too similar IOI But I think our differences will be complimentary IOI
Sinn: You and I are never going to get along”(IOD)
Girl: You’re right we wouldn’t
Sinn: Yeah we would fight all the time, and I’d always win (IOD)

If a target at any time gives me an IOD i will respond in kind. This is the punishment part of our punishment reward sub routine,
however if we are already in comfort the punishment will no longer be negs, instead it will be take aways, and freeze outs. If at any time she gives me an IOI even if it’s as passive as holding my drink, I will reward her until she becomes uncomfortable and gives an IOD then we respond with another IOD, wait for an IOI and if it doesn’t come we compliance test to actively look for IOIs. We can also do this by balancing the amount of value we demonstrate onto a set.

Not every set needs to hear a million routines before they will be willing to talk to you. If have run more than 2 routines in a set and you are not attempting to move on to qualification (A3) you are hurting your game. You want to make sure that you are constanly testing to see where you are. And then trying to advance at the same time. Micro calibrating makes it easy by throwing little adjusters depending on the responses you are getting.  It’s not at all reactive to apologize when you over-neg. You will lose a lot more sets by continuing to neg once you’ve offended then by apologizing and qualifying her for standing up for herself.

Microcalibration is the art of adjusting what you’re saying in real time to the reactions you are getting.

Now let’s put this all together.  What does Microcalibration look like and how do we do it?  Well I found this great video on youtube that explains it pretty damn well from Mystery and the Venusian Arts crew back in the day.

Questions, comments, concerns?
~RL

By the way, I gotta give credit where credit is due.

If you want to learn more about all this shit from the sources I provided here check out:

The Mind of Mystery Course

And

The Sinns of Attraction

Oh and for all you Infield Junkies I will be posting the video and my responses to the guy in the Midlair over the next few days so stay tuned.  You can subscribe by email or twitter or whatever over to the right.

Questions, comments, concerns?

~RL

SIDECAR:

If you know microcalibration, you MAY want to know what bodyrocking is and how to do it.  Again, I dug up another video from Mystery and the crew on that as well.  The best I know, naturals, puas, lesbians, myself, all incorporate a lot of bodyrocking into our game.  It makes you more hypnotic and attractive and sends mixed signals on a subconscious level to those girls you are interacting with, which in the early stages of the interaction can be an invaluable tool to gaining attraction.  Also this video talks a lot about delivery.  If you can incorporate all these things in this post into your game you will see a HUGE improvement, I promise.

Enjoy:

Risk Creepy by 60yearsofchallenge

I like how sometimes articles pop into my head from discussions we’re having.  On The Midwest Lair Facebook group, a guy was talking about how Rooshv said:  “If you are being called creepy, congratulations, you just went from being asexual to repulsively sexual, which is progress” something to mull over for the new guys and a good frame spin everytime a set goes bad.”

I actually agree with this.  I replied: “It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve had at least 1 girl naked who would call me creepy when I was giving her goodsebumps and getting her horny.”

But it also reminded me of this classic post by 60yearsofchallenge – one of the best out there for pickup and seduction articles.  Without more blah blah from me, let’s get into it.

Risk Creepy

Ew, he wrote me a note, that is so creepy. Aw, he wrote me a note, that is so sweet!

Practice Creepy

Guys don’t get enough practice being seductive.

They have tons of practice being social and opening “sets” but not much practice being seductive.

If you want to be seductive you need to risk creepy. In fact, there is no way to avoid creepy. So you might as well admit it right now. You are creepy. But don’t worry, the so called “creepy” guys also get laid the most.

Don’t Fear Creepy

Using seductive eye contact, looking at her lips while thinking about kissing her, and talking really slow can put women into a sexual trance.

But women will try to scare guys off their seductive game with the threat of the “creepy” label or the “ew you’re creepy” look. And guys will never be at their seductive best if they are still scared of creepy.

Ew or Aw

The threat of creepy is a bunch of crap.

Creepy is just a TEST women use to scare clueless guys off.

If she likes you, you are sexy. If she doesn’t like you or she feels you are not in her league, then you are creepy. This can change day to day or even moment to moment. You can use the exact same eyecontact and touch on two separate girls and one will call you creepy, the other will think you are sexy.

Which is the truth?

Neither.

Realize if a woman gives you that “you’re weird” look when you shut up and hold eye contact, it really just means she is trying to break the tension because she is getting turned on.

The implication that you are creepy can also be due to her not wanting to seem like a slut. She is turned on, but she’s pretending she isn’t. She may even tell her friends later that you were hitting on her and it was creepy, but that’s only to protect her social image.

Creepy Blowout
Of course there will be times when you try to be seductive and get blownout. For example, you hold seductive eye contact but she gives you a weird look implying you are creepy. Then she gets up and moves her seat further away from you. Ouch!

But there is really nothing to fear. It’s no different than a verbal blowout. I would much rather have a creepy rejection than a verbal one.

I really enjoy creepy. In fact, I love creepy. I just love putting the pressure on her. Watching women fidget and get nervous. Awesome! I can’t wait to creep some women out tonight.

I know creepy is the label you fear.

It is the reason you hold back and don’t escalate the vibe. The reason you stay in social mode. You would rather get blown out being cocky and disinterested than with seductive eye contact. This way you can keep your cool guy rep.

Your biggest weapons for seducing her are eye-contact, moving closer and touch. And they all come with the risk of creepy.

Be seductive. Risk creepy.

The Real Meanings of Words

Guys need to get over their fear that starting a conversation with a stranger is “weird”, being seductive and escalating is “creepy” and pushing things sexually is “perverted”.

– Risk Weird

If you are being social and start conversations some women will try and test you by saying or implying that you are weird for doing so. Or they will give you that “this is weird” look. Not every guy has the confidence to approach a woman, but it’s definitely not weird.

– Risk Creepy

When you are being seductive women will try to scare you off with the fear of creepy.

– Risk Perverted

When you are being sexually aggressive women will try to test you by calling or implying that you are a pervert. As if this is a bad thing. Yet many guys are scared of the pervert label as it conjures up images of an old guy jerking off in a porno booth. You want to be a pervert.

60