David Bowie the Hobo Slayer – Hilarious Amateur Web Comic Deluxe

David Bowie the Hobo Slayer

This is a good excuse for me to try out the “Publish Link” option on WordPress.  That’s so I know what to expect and how I can use it in the future.

HOWEVER!

That being said, this link is to a Hilarious Web Comic known as David Bowie the Hobo Slayer.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, or are already offended by reading the title, good!  Go read the comic.  It’s funny, childish, the art is crappy-awesome and you can tell the author, who goes by the moniker The Nonsequitaur, spends a lot of time on these.

I can totally appreciate this, because when I was little, like in 7th grade I started doing a comic, just for my friends and I to read called, “Superdope”.  Basically it was a goofy, funny, hilarious comic where the hero, Superdope, got powers to fight crime by doing things like smoking a joint, or snorting cocaine or basically, doing some sort of drug.  Maybe this sounds a little Non-PC for a kid to be writing about in 7th grade, but it was meant to be funny and ridiculous, much like David Bowie the Hobo Slayer is.

The thing is, my friends started writing their own comics and we would share them.  That is until the evil Villainess, Sister Thomas Mary confiscated an unfinished episode from me, read it in a boomingly unpleasant voice to embarrass me in front of the entire class, and then called my parents to try and have me expelled from school.

Needless to day my parents even sided with me, but it sort of put a dampener on my comic days because I quickly left that school and went to a public school where I didn’t have many friends to share my comics with.

Who knows, if I was encouraged vs discouraged, I might have become another Stan Lee…

But fuck all that sad shit.  This guy is the next generation of goofy, amateur comic writing.  So GO NOW and check out his site.

I said NOW!!!

David Bowie the Hobo Slayer - Web Comic

Click Me!

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I’m a Cheap Ass and Decided to Use My Comments Section for This Post

Tsod:

(What is all this Insolence? – That’s right – I decided to reply to the craziness of the comments section over at my last post, Texting a No Into a Yes – The Rockabilly Girl, so if you’re like, “What the hell is this post about?” I recommend reading that post and the comments and then just so you get the point of this blog, go read my page above: What Is All This Insolence!?)

Hahaha. I am having another Zombie day today. Not so good but you guys did bring a smile to my face from the replies (which incidentally is hard to do on Zombie Days), and that IS good.

Thanks…

@ 35maplestreetI actually take the longest showers out of anyone I know. If there’s hot water I can stay in the shower for like and hour or more. I have told people if I ever get rich I’m going to have someone build me a shower with a built in laptop, phone and pretty much a whole office – all waterproof.  I LOVE long showers when I really think long and hard about it.  It’s like as I write this, I can Imagine that heat working its way through every part of the body, and then there’s like that moment, right before sliding in.. to the shower, when you can just let go completely and let that pleasure take you completely and it’s like… ahhhhhhhhh…  😉

@ mysterycoach:  No Phone number. I’m winging with a new wing and we both picked the wrong girls. I should have went with my instincts and went for the girl sitting across from him, and he should have taken the girl across from me, but my wing said he thought the girl sitting across from me was into me, and I totally disagreed but decided to play it like she was and see. I was right, he was wrong. Unfortunately, but that’s what I get for not going with my instincts. So it’s my fault. I liked the other girl better anyway and he liked my girl better. It’s just the hazards of winging with someone new. We haven’t worked out he kinks yet.

@ emdashwood:  As far as internet connection – I’m broke. hahaha – job not starting for a few more days and not really officially starting for another couple weeks. But also I like to get out of the house and do some stuff. I can spend way too much time in the house if I have an internet connection. If I’m out doing computer stuff somewhere public when I DO have energy (non-zombie), and I happen to spy with my little eye a pretty gal I wish to flirt with, then that’s a Winning Situation.

Winning

On days like today when I am a Sleep Apnea Zombie I flirt very rarely, and tend to dress like a homeless man in the most comfortable clothes possible.  The difference between Zombie me and Normal me (dress wise) is HUGE.  I’m sure people might not even recognize I was the same person.

emdashwood said: Love the “confident enough to show her sweet side” response, but the “sex is sticky and gross” response is a little much, I think.  Why would you put the words sticky and gross in the same conversation as sex?  And to imply that you would be anything other than “yourself” around us… well, I don’t think you want to show your cards quite so clearly 😉  I think your word choice could use some work on that one 😉  And the non-response (or “sorta the same as #1 cop-out) to #4 is… well… cheating, and perhaps borderline chicken, I think, since two of us clearly stated that is the response we would choose!

mysterycoach said: The last one is all like, “I bet you don’t even like sex” … which would what? LOL  Have her say, ooooh no, I’ll show you, how could you say that about me?  Her little mind starts ticking because, she doesn’t know the guy and the pull would be “why would he think that?” Most men/women want to be liked so that would up the chances she’d/he’d want to show the other person just how wrong they were about them.

What mysterycoach said 😉

As far as the “…confident enough…” I came up with that on accident one day with a girl who was being kinda pissy through text, really sarcastic.  So I decided to neg her a little. Neg=negative compliment.  It’s a compliment with a little bit of something “missing” to make her go…  Hmmmm?  It is Not an insult or being dicky, and is usually said with a smile of your face (which also would be the same smile I would have when talking about sex being sticky and gross).  So I complimented her on being sarcastic and then told her I liked a girl who was confident enough to be herself even better.

It worked.  The next texts she was being fun and cool.  I think it works wonders when a gal gets sassy to keep your cool and not follow.

And then there’s Whole foods; I probably mentioned this is some other post, but this one has 2 bars in it and you can buy beer or wine and walk around the store and drink it, or pay your 10 bucks for a bottle of wine, take it to the wine bar and they will open in and provide the glasses for you, and even pour it if you are sitting up at the bar.

http://wholefoodsmarket.com/stores/lincolnpark/

Now then… Where were we?

Oh ya – soapy bubbles and a warm penetrating shower head…

A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer with Sleep Apnea Part III

Tsod (incidentally this is kind of a cute little video but I’m not giving away what it’s about…  Some of you women will be familiar…):

(continued from part II)

…Here’s where I give away one of my fetishes that some of you may think is weird. I think it’s HOT. I will even tell you why, but first let’s get to the what.

I love a woman with muscles. True story. No really; I have this huge fetish for women with big biceps or muscles. They completely turn me on; get me hot and horny.  Like a bolt of energy will shoot through me that makes me pretty much b-line towards them and at the very least put the flirt on in some way, shape of form. So with this chick in the window working at the register of Trader Joes I could see her biceps were big and cut all the way out in the street. I wasn’t sure if my mind was playing tricks on me but I had to get a closer look.

But let’s talk about this for a moment. I think when we are younger some of the strange things that happen can define our sexuality. When I was 5 in Kindergarten in Frankfurt Germany I can remember one of the first pseudo flirting experiences of my life. Ya, I’m sure I didn’t quite know it was flirting back then, and I’m sure the girl who did it didn’t know either, but it sort of started something in me that never quite went away.

This German girl came up to me. I spoke German pretty decently back them. Not quite fluent, but I most definitely could understand some pretty basic stuff. The very first thing she did was flex her bicep and say, in German, I am stronger than you are. Of course, I did the logical thing and felt her muscle. Little did I know then, that years later in my life that kind of shit would make me fucking horny as hell. What really peaked it, is when I was a little older, maybe just 12 or 13. We were at some get together with some of my father’s friends. I don’t remember the exact reason, but the guy showed us a picture of his wife. In the picture, though, she was full of muscles and built. I had never seen girls like this. It was completely contrary to what I was told. Boys were stronger than girls. Girls were supposed to be weaker. This was Wrong! But that’s what I LOVED about it. It was So fucking wrong! I was instantly fascinated and scared at the same time. If I were a little older I would have probably had a huge hard on, but that part of my life hadn’t occurred yet. For now, I just kept thinking about the picture.

Later I found out it was a joke, and that his wife had never been a bodybuilder chick. It was some sort of trick photo, but it was too late. I knew girls could have muscles, and even big ones and I wanted me some of that. If a woman has some guns going on, it makes me as horny as looking at a nice ass or a nice pair of tits. Sometimes even more so.

There was only one chick in 8th grade who was both hot, and naturally built and had these cute little biceps that popped out more than the other girls. I had a giant crush on her but back then I was not that smooth with the ladies so she never knew. I know I used to fantasize about her but never did anything about it. That is when I realized, though, that it made me fucking horny. I actually thing this girl was the absolute first girl I had a real crush on. (Yep, I had just switched from Catholic school to a public school and the thing about the Catholic school that I went to was, the girls were not cute. So I kinda was forced into being a late bloomer.)

Yep, I Think She's Hot!

The truth is, these girls with muscles are very rare. It’s not like you see them everyday. But if I see one these days, I am on her like white on rice. The beautiful thing about Chicago is that I do see them from time to time and have at LEAST had opportunities to approach them. I did, once, have a little extra money and decided to pay for a session with a well known female body builder and I consider that one of the top “fantasy memories” I have to this day. She was so much stronger than me and had bigger muscles than me and it fucking drove me wild. Like I said, it fires off the “this is completely wrong” wires in my body and that’s one of the fetishes that gets me hot. Trust me when I say this is not the most deviant or weird “this is wrong” fantasy I have. But I will save the others for another time.

So I walked in the store and grabbed my sprouted bread and b-lined towards the register where she was at, getting myself in a good mood before approaching by tossing the bread around. I flipped it up and caught it repeatedly, basically being charming to myself. I got up to the line and she, for some reason, pulled the board out under the register where you can place the bags or baskets on to. If you go to TJ’s you know what I’m taking about. I said to her, “What? Is that so I can put my bread down?”

She shot back, “Yeah.” She had a fun personality. Let me describe her. Blond hair, shoulder length, yellow t-shirt, with a cute face. She had the kind of face for a woman that I like, not SUPER hot but like, girlfriend cute. Like she totally had the type of face you would expect on a chick you could date for a year or two, not a chick who was so hot you would only bang her for a month or two before things fizzled out. She was also wearing this semi-tight, yellow, TJ’s work shirt and skinny jeans. Those sexy little biceps were definitely popping out of her sleeves a little. She was not HUGE but definitely bigger than the average girl, and you could tell she worked out. Her biceps were cut. My mind filled with visions of her and I armwrestling (yes I would love it if she could beat me and I’m not some weakling, pussy guy). and then even more so, her on top of me flexing her biceps while we fucked….

(to be continued in part IV)  And for the record.  Comments, thoughts or “fuck you’s” are encouraged.  😉

PS – Happy New Year!