Texting a No Into a Yes – The Rockabilly Girl

Tsod:

Doin my little online dating thing.  It’s cold in Chicago, going out to meet people and freezing my ass off is not as enjoyable as I would like.  So we, of course, turn to the online dating thing.  This is a girl I met recently and took it from online to text.

Last night we had been texting back and forth a little.  I will spare you the details of that, unless you wanna ask me of course and I will be happy to elaborate, but in this case I just wanted to sort of go through the concept of what most people might view as a rejection, where in my case I look at is as an opportunity to practice reframing.  http://changingminds.org/techniques/general/reframing.htm  I DO so love reframing when I can pull it off.   But this, like anything else, has to be used sparingly.  One time I was with a particularly wine emboldened date with a chick who got more and more sassy and mean the more we drank and so I was reframing a lot of the shit she was throwing my way, finally she got even more mad and said, “Alright!  You have mind fucked me in and out and sideways by now.  I bet the ladies just throw their panties at you.”  Alas, it was her way of saying, “not mine”.

But in this case below, you can see how it works.  I do so love me the art of the reframe.

Me (from last night):  Truthfully, my new bartending gig doesn’t even start till the 9th and I’m kind of a broke joke till then.  Sooo goin out to far away lands kinda has to way.  But we could always do something next week more low pro.  But no worries.  I know the perfect adventure spot

(today I woke up to find in my text box) Rockabilly: I’m sure you’re a great guy but I don’t date bartenders, it always goes fantastically wrong for one reason or another

Me:  Good. 🙂 So now we can just chill and be 2 normal people without all the pressure of dating and all that blah blah. . .

Rockabilly: Maybe

Me:  Dating is an ugly word.  It puts two people in these super defined roles and presupposes  how they’re supposed to act around and towards each other.  I don’t know about you but I like to think of myself as a dynamic individual who can really chill and live life in the moment, even with someone else and take advantage of each moment as life presents it to me.  And I don’t feel putting labels and limits on the moments I share with others is really appreciating those moments.

Me:  I’ll send you a text example of how the label “dating” can really fuck with someone who otherwise might really enjoy themself without it:  FWD:  Im sure you’re a great guy but I dont date bartenders, it always goes fantastically wrong for one reason or another

Rockabilly: Haha you are so funny.  And bartender isnt a label it’s a factual  assessment of your current employment situation.  See also “broke joke”

Me:  Haha.  I don’t work at shitty places.  I can’t really make a ton of scratch if the place I work at isn’t doing their grandopening for 2 more weeks, now can I? 😉  And ya.  You are using bartender as a label. 🙂  You’re looking at me through the label  of experiences and people that are NOT me, without fairly affording me he courtesy of being a Real Live Person, an Individual.

Rockabilly: I’m not concerned with the places you work at, that’s your affair.  I have a special affinity for dive bars and “shitty” places

Me:  Ya me too.  I have a special affinity for the divey places with kick ass selections on the juke box.  But places that hire me always end up being pretty schmancy.  It’s kinda weird.  I’ll explain in person but too much to text.

Rockabilly:  So prove me wrong since you’re such an enlightened individual

Me:  Proving you wrong may not be in the cards.  Only you can make that decision despite my best efforts to prove anything to do.  But I will be Happy to meet with you and hash this out toe to toe over some drinks at the local dive.  Familiar with the LL bar? 🙂

Rockabilly:  I have not heard of it

Me: By the way.  If you want to label me s something, you could always label me as a writer, which I am.  That is my other passion

Rockabilly:  Bully for you

Me:  So the question remains.  When is my little Rockabilly, rollerDerby girl free to come meet up?  Starting next week I train every day until like 9 or 10. .

Rockabilly:  I have a little free time next monday and tuesday nite but not enough time to get all the way to belmont

Me:  I could always come pick you up and we could drive around and drink in my car.  Like highschool ! 😉

Rockabilly:  Haha you had a vastly different highschool career than I, also my momma taught me not to take rides from strangers

Me:  I’m HARDLY a stranger.  We met online.  Totally safe 🙂

Me:  I’ll make sure to bring a bag of candy

Rockabilly:  Ohgreat could you also ask me to help you find your lost dog?

Rockabilly:  Its not a dive bar but its right off the blue line, the kinderhook tap, they have a great selection of craft beers

Me:  Done deal.  When . . Next wk?

Rockabilly:  Yep. im free tuesday night or friday next week

There was a bit more logistical texting about specifics but there you have it.  That’s how I do.  This is actually pretty tame.  Given time I have been known to take rejections all the way to her showing up at my apartment with the major likelyhood of having sex, and then having it of course.  See “Fourty,Fit, and Phenomenally Sexy” below (related articles) for a link up.

Thoughts, questions, comments and reviews are totally encouraged as usual.  I’m starting to send out checks to the top commenters on my blog.  They should be in the mail this Friday.  I gotta go say hit to this sexy retro chick so I can’t post anymore… Until Next Time.

Sidecar:

Don’t be a shitty bartender! 

I just posted this yelp review a few days ago and I figure I’d link it up to here.  What’s the difference between two bars with an equally kick ass beer selection?

Service.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-map-room-chicago#hrid:BdhQOuM7DNXfATtiZdckwg

Enjoi

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Follow the Crow

TOTD:

Here’s a little story about what I mean by Shaman.  This stuff is not bullshit.  But we will see where it ends up.

I was driving around the city the other day, doing what I have been doing lately, which is looking for my next place to bartend.  I was dropping resumes here and there.  So far I’ve had some good interviews, by the way, but nothing has come out of it.  People smile, they seem to like what I have to say, but like I said, in this industry you never know what they have a vision of in their head as far as what they want as a bartender.

It’s like me with girls or porn or whatever.  I never really know what I like until it’s right in front of my face.  Everyone is different so I can’t blame the people who haven’t hired me yet for being dumb for not picking me (even if they are 😉 . But let’s get to the point.  Inside I know I will find a place to bartend.

I was driving around and I pulled down this side street that had a dead end.  There was a big Sheraton Hotel to my right, with all these super high end cabs sitting around, just waiting.  What I mean by super high end, is that they are the Executive cars.  They are plain black, with drivers who dress in suits.  They are the cars that the executives take around the city instead of the normal cabs like you and I have to take (unless you are one of them – you rich bastard.  Send me some money!).

So I was looking for a place to turn around and sort of considering going in,  but not really. Places like this always want you to apply online, and it really wasn’t happening in the way I wanted it to.  So I turned around and was getting ready to drive off.  Then, suddenly, to my right, sitting on the wall very near my car, was a lone Raven.  I like to call them Crows.  I know there is a difference but these ones I always pay attention to look a a lot like this:

Crows aren’t like other birds.  They may be a little braver.  They don’t shift and take off when you notice them, they kind of just look back at you and you get the feeling they are studying you as much as you are studying them.  I think my window was down already a little but I rolled it down a little more and asked the crow, “What’s up?”

After a couple of seconds, and as if in response, he flew up, and over my car, and on to the top of the Sheraton.  I followed him with my eyes, watching.  I think I said out loud, “Really?”  Then a couple seconds later the crow flew down, around the corner of the hotel appearing to me as if he was saying, “go inside.”

So I parked my car in front of one of the Metro Cars and went inside.  This was a BIG hotel and seemed, at least where I walked in, very empty.  There was one lady in the lobby standing there and as I walked by she smiled meekly and yet politely.  I continued on to enter into a large lobbyish area of the hotel with a closed nightclub looking bar to my left, and as I looked over to the right there was a bar off in the distance with a few patrons sitting around it.  Off on the side closest to me were three ladies who were discussing something, dress appropriately as staff.  I walked over and started talking.

I was talking shop with them and feeling out if the hotel was maybe ever busy, worth working at and whether or not they were hiring.  Here’s the funny thing.  For some reason, one of the ladies asked me, “So what brings you in here?” or some question similar to that.

“If I told you, you would think I’m crazy,” I replied.

One of the ladies insisted with a smile, “I already think you’re a complete psycho to tell you the truth.”

So I said a resigned, “Ok…” and related to them exactly what the reason was.  One of the poor gals, a nice looking black lady, stiffened a little and said, “oh my…  I think it’s time for me to get back to work.” and quickly disappeared.  The other two ladies were delighted with my story.  One started immediately to tell me the scoop of places she heard that were hiring.  “Why don’t you try Aqua,” she said, “it’s that building right over there.”  She went on to describe it and it hit me.  Two days before, for no reason at all, I had taken several pictures of that building.

Aqua

Does it stop there?

I may be a Shaman, dammit, but I’m pretty sure we all can do this stuff if we pay attention. Deepak Chopra insists there is not such thing as coincidence.

So of course I went there with one of my schmancy resumes in hand to find someone to take it to.  Unfortunately there was no one present.  No one was there.  I went in, and since this is a big hotel that is not open yet, I entered into a door where there was a door-woman.  (This is confusing to me.  I’ve never heard of door-woman.  There is Doorman, but not so much Door-woman so It just sounds weird for me to say it.)  This was the door right next to where I walked into this area where there was this big restaurant being built that looked pretty cool.  (Funny thing, the security guy who was there later just so happened to be gone when I went in there the first time, so I was able to walk in a little and take a look..  Later I went back just to test and asked him if he minded if I took a look around, and he said, “Nope.  That’s why I’m here.  They don’t want anyone looking around.”  Little does he know that’s why he was “gone” when I wanted to look 🙂 )  I talked to the door woman and asked her where I could go to drop off my resume.  She told me she could take it but that I should go online and fill out the application because it had to go through the hotel, and that they would call people to set up interviews.

I did that last night.

I was taking a shower today, and the phone rang.  I picked up.  (If you ever have dated me or hired me or even rented an apartment from me, just know, you have probably had at least one or more discussions with me while I was completely naked and in the shower.)  Guess who?

It was human resources from the Hotel they are opening at Aqua.  And they wanted to do a phone interview with me.   The first question for the interview was, “So what made you decide to apply with us here at the Raddison Bleu?”

“Do you want me to be completely honest or do you want me to candy coat my answer and make it sound normal?” was my response.

“Of course I want you to be honest with me,” was her response.

“Ok…” I said again with a slight reservation to my voice, “But you’re going to think I’m crazy…”

And so the interview on the phone went well and I have an in person scheduled for this Friday…

Sidecar:

Earth Medicine Book

– This is the book on Earth Medicine I refer to in this post.  Click to see.

… And you thought my themesong of the day should have been Burn by the Cure?  Nope.  Ya I like the movie and the song is cool, but I am not so cheezeball as to dare use it as my themsong for posts like this – but to get it out of the way…
Here you are: