Solving the “I am Unworthy of an Attractive Woman” Issue (Part III)

Themesong of the Day:

Here we go with part III of this awesome little bit of wisdom.  This third part hit kinda close to home and I could feel sadness welling up inside when I read it.  Anyway, here we go… ~RL

Loss of connection with your body

You feel like if you trust your senses things will go wrong. If you see a beautiful girl standing there and you trust yourself and go there things will go badly. If you feel this way, there is something missing in the “unworthy” equation. You don’t trust yourself. Feeling unworthy of a beautiful girl is a by product of not trusting yourself, your instincts, your level of skills.

What was the last time you trusted yourself and things went wrong

For many guys it only takes one time. You got rejected once or you didn’t get the expected results with a hot girl you wanted and you lost faith in yourself. Your ability to follow instinct was reduced. As a result, you shy away from risks when you see a beautiful girl. You don’t want to be rejected and feel that same pain again. It is a catch 22 of sorts. The more you don’t take risks, the more you build a negative disposition to follow your heart instincts. You build a comfort zone where it feels ok to be miserable. Nothing new here. It takes to destroy the same resistance to break out from being poor, or get a new job or quit a relationship. We want to stay as we are.

Loss of connection with body/loss of connection with reality

I have learned the more my student is not connected to his body or mistrusts it, the more he will interpret reality in a skewed way. They walk around the club thinking to themselves “I am weird for walking around and not talking to anybody” but the reality is different. Most people in the club are not paying the smallest iota of attention to him. They don’t care because they are worried about their own problems or having their own fun. However, when you stop paying attention to your instincts you misinterpret reality in such a faulty way.

Loss of connection with body/relying on others perception of reality

Because you distrust your own perception of reality you come to trust other people’s perception over yours. You care about what others think. You make it your job to find out what they think and then shape up your own opinions based on theirs. If a girl calls you “weirdo” you immediately think it is true. You trust others more than you trust yourself.

Social Conditioning

You must start by listening to your body again

If you are to change your feelings of unworthiness, first you must develop trust in yourself. Chances are you have shut down your body sensations around beautiful women in an attempt to safe guard yourself against rejection. Getting in touch with your true feelings around women can be terribly frightening because of past rejection experiences. However, as we have explored in other articles, it is key to open ourselves to the possibility of being rejected if we want success. You must allow women to say no if they must. You must take that rejection and realize it doesn’t kill you and it could lead to you meeting a beautiful girl. You must not take it personally.

How can you listen to your body and recuperate your instincts again?

Your coping mechanism is to bypass your body sensations and ignore them. You must start by listening to your body when you are in the club. In my live in field programs, I make my students walk around the club and come back to me and inform me of what they felt as they saw people. We do a little pre-approach discussion on whether their bodies are telling the truth or it is just fear talking. It is my way of making the students is in touch with their bodies again because that is the first step of a new relationship between them and their bodies. They will develop self trust and dismiss their body sensations. It is the first step towards regaining their “self worth” and feeling worthy of a woman again. They are scared to feel they are attracted to a girl because she might reject them. They deny those feelings of attraction. However, the best people in dating I have met in the course of the years acknowledge their sensations around a beautiful girl and they just trust themselves. That’s why they have had sex with hundreds of women. They always follow instinct. They trust their instincts.

Self trust and passion. The missing link

When you don’t trust yourself because you think you are not worthy, you can’t tap into your passions. Basically you don’t trust yourself to go after a goal with passion, in this case women. You can’t trust your passions because you think you will end up hurt and disappointed. It is impossible to get excited. You can just fake it, temporarily. This is the root with some of the “getting into state” issues that I deal with on program. Students think they can manufacture state or “passion” for a couple of hours in the club and then get their results and then go back to being miserable again. The simple truth is that it is a naive idea at best. You can’t consistently manufacture good feelings and drive for long periods of time without changing your core. You must solve the “trusting yourself” issue first. Loss of connection with your body must be solved first and then you can slowly start to develop instinct to go after the things you want out of life. Then, you don’t have to worry about passion. Passion, good state, joyful feelings can’t help but surface. It is the result, not the cause.

The moment we can trust ourselves, it follows that we assume that we can trust others. That’s the root of “I am worthy”. If I trust myself and my instincts and what my body tells, I immediately assume others are trustworthy too and I am in no harm in asking from what I want from a beautiful girl. I give myself inner permission to walk up to her and ask well knowing she can have the solution for my needs. Not only we see ourselves worthwhile and trustworthy, but also we PROJECT a sense of worthiness to others. We are perceived as a human being of substance who draws attention onto himself and who will give respectful attention to others. We trust our connection with the world and see ourselves as “interdependent”, not “dependent” of others. Sign of a healthy human being.

Tim and hottie smells

I remember Tim –rsd instructor deluxe- saying he loves women’s scent and he likes what he calls “hottie smell,” how a beautiful woman smells. He is intoxicated by it. He allows himself to be intoxicated by it. Notice how he loses himself in the moment when he meets a beautiful girl. He lets go of any outcome in his head and allows himself to be swallowed by the moment. That’s the key to success. There is no “future” (outcome) or “past” (rejections), just the now of what she looks like, her smell, her conversation and so on.
You must dive in the now. You must trust your deeper instincts and let the outcome take care of itself.

The aftermath of trusting your instincts

I will outline some of the consequences and you can judge whether they could be positive or negative. I just want you to make an informed decision to follow instinct in order to feel worthy again:

1. Some beautiful women will reject you

2. Some beautiful women will not only be attracted but will sleep with you

3. Some beautiful women will stalk you

4. You will feel rejected on several occasions

5. You will feel like a winner on several occasions

6. You will regain confidence and trust in yourself

7. You will feel less “unworthy” every time you walk up to a beautiful girl

8. You will be less fixed on outcome and more on the challenge itself

You can read more of Ozzie’s stuff and the original article over at:

Solving the “I am Unworthy of an Attractive Woman” Issue (Part III).

Sidecar:

By the way…  I just watched this movie recently… Totally touches on a similar subject but in a different way….  Not only that but it’s a kickass action flick.  Enjoi:

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Libra Mix of the Week Volume 3 – Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain

Yanntiersen

Yann Tiersen - Image via Wikipedia

So in essence, I try to plan these things but cannot.  I wanted to make this a Libra Mix of the Week, like an every Friday kinda thing.  But I am far too fucking spontaneous.  I can’t do all that orderly stuff.  In other words, when the time is right the time is right and right now the time is right now.  Say it fast five times, I dare you.

So this week I am posting something that is a little out of the ordinary, but you may or may not be familiar with it already.  It is one of my favorite soundtracks out there, and if I want to get into my theories on Magic Music, well this is one of the Magic Music CDs I can think of offhand.  Right now only 2 come to mind and this one is probably a little higher than the other.

Magic music comes from blasting it in a car with a great stereo after having a pretty solid Red Wine Buzz and feeling it’s effects on your body as you absorb it.  It’s a pretty magical feeling.  But don’t let me waste anymore of your time with that theory, if you want to know what I mean, the instructions are pretty much written at the beginning of this paragraph so I urge you to try it yourself.

The music is from the movie Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain, which is one of my favorite movies for sure.  My last post, A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer with Sleep Apnea Part IV,  kinda got me thinking about how I haven’t heard the soundtrack in a while and so I am listening to it now, as I  type this out, despite the occasional chill it sends through my body.

Yann Tiersen is a badass composer.  He is the producer and composer and whatever of this music and so…  Enough blah blah.  Here we go.

Enjoi

Ok ok ok! I know… I’ve been a naughty boy so here’s another post.

Tsod (gotta click the video to open in on youtube and listen to it in the background, but that’s the point 😉 Watch the video later… We got shit to talk about!):

So much to write about, so little time.  My life is FILLED with ups and downs lately and, so that 35maplestreet will be happy, I have decided to write a little update about me.  But what’s there to talk about?  I could talk about my new, donated from nice people, APAP machine that I am not trying to tweak and help get my sleep help.

I could talk about how SOPA and PIPA were dropped by the guy trying to sponsor the bills, and yet despite that the bill did NOT pass the government decided to try and crack down on the internet, pulling sites like Megaupload off line.  I could talk about how Anonymous decided to fight back and knock a few websites off line temporarily.

http://tech.pnosker.com/2012/01/20/sopa-and-pipa-dropped-by-congress-in-wake-of-largest-online-protest-in-history/

I could talk about how the quest to follow my dreams is going well, as you know, but that my new bartending gig is held off by the inevitable delays of opening a new place.  I still am broke and not working and who should pop up out of the blue after a few months?  My landlord, who is a little angry at the fact that I could not really pay my rent and has started the process of evicting me.  Yes, I feel bad.  I am not a free loader, but I made a decision that was fucking HARD to make, and sacrifice is part of the price I am willing to pay to make my dreams come true.  Let’s hope my new bar is a smash hit like it seems to be expected to be, that I glide through the opening stages with finesse and charm and do a kickass job so that I get to be one of the people they not only keep, but work a good 4 or 5 days or nights a week.  Then I can move out and pay my landlord and everyone will be happy.  But my landlord is kind of a dick (no, I’m saying this despite the eviction stuff.  I thought he was a dick almost immediately after I moved in.  Maybe I was spoiled by good landlords in the past, but if I needed anything done he would either tell me to handle it myself; disappear and not be available, make up some ridiculous claim about getting on a plane, and not being able to talk, anytime I started to address apartment maintenance issues; not return my calls or texts if I needed something; or just lie to my face and say he took care of something I CLEARLY took care of myself, like I’m a fucking moron.) and I fully expect him to try and make the biggest shit out of this he possibly can.  But God takes care of me.  I don’t stress, because I know that good shit is coming my way  and good stuff is always happening in my life anyway, it’s just that sometimes we have to really look for the good stuff and not let the bad stuff get us down.  If I’m going to give my energy to things I will focus on the good things and let the bad things sort themselves out as best I can without getting wrapped up in them.  That’s not saying I will ignore them completely.  I will attend to them as best I can, but I will not let bad things effect my life or attitude too much.  But tomorrow, sleep pending, I plan on contacting a couple Rent Assistance Programs in the city to at least see if they can hook me up with helping me find a new place to stay.

I could talk about how I think, politically speaking, that people are either brainwashed, lazy or just stupid as evidenced by the current GOP caucuses.  I’m not really a die hard republican or democrat because I think the system is broken and corrupted.  There are powers that be behind the scenes, but people can wake up and make their voices heard and Ron Paul was a real chance, in my opinion, to really get this country back on track.  Meanwhile who are people “apparently” voting for in these Caucuses?  Rick Santorum?  Fucking Newt Gingrich? Mitt Romney?  Ok so if Obama sucks now, NONE of the business as usual, old boys club neo-cons are going to make 1 fuck of a difference.  Not only that but Obama will most likely just get re-elected if any of these douchbags run against him.  Regardless of who wins, it will be the same bulshit over and over again with our freedoms being threatened, rights being taken away, being at war with this or that country for reasons only the fuckers behind the scenes are benefiting from, joblessness, fucked economy and the Federal Reserve destroying the american dollar and a whole host of destroying the constitution one paragraph at a time.  People had a choice to really start thinking for themselves.  Occupy Wall Street gave me hope that people were starting to wake up.  These caucuses, so far, are disappointing the hell out of me and destroying said hope.  Think, fucking people, turn the brainwashing news off, stop reading the big media newspapers telling you what to think and who to vote for and start educating yourselves.  You’re all being sold a big fucking lie!  That’s right.  I will post a big resource of introduction videos to get you up to speed if you wanna watch some stuff to educate yourselves and are not sure what I’m talking about.  See – Sidecar  Below.

I could talk about how the combination of sleep apnea and being a broke ass puts a huge dampener on my seduction life.  Imagine having several girls you text back and forth with but you never seem to ask them to go out.  What are you gonna do when it’s cold as shit in a city like Chicago and you have no money and want to go out with a chick and do some fun shit?  Maybe I’m not very creative that way, but even if it’s like 10 or 15 bucks, money always seems like a requirement in the world of dating.  What self respecting, quality woman wants to date a broke dude?  And I am most interested in dating quality chicks, not fucking random women that I never see again.  It gets old, trust me.  It’s fun on paper to play with a chick, make out with a chick, or fuck a chick for sport, but to me, the real quality women are the ones you build relationships or friendships with.  Kinda takes a little investing.  Not necessarily in her (like buying her stuff or trying to buy her favor or whatever) but in the shit you do together.  There are only so many women who are all about the movie and make out dates at my place and those can kinda still get old if that’s all you ever do.  It’s ok.  Soon!  My bartending thing can only be delayed for so long before it kicks in and then I truely intend on embracing the rewards of that STEP on my path to adventuring on my dreampath.  (But don’t worry, I still get my action 😉  I will have to finish my series of posts “A Day in the Life of a Modern Day Seducer With Sleep Apnea”.)

But why the fuck do you wanna hear about all that shit?

😉

Let’s talk about something important.

Let’s talk about my night last night.  Let me say, for the record, I did not get laid or even make out with anyone, but I did bite a girl repeatedly.  🙂  Don’t worry, she liked it.  She was egging me on and today I got a text from her telling me, “you bite like a girl”.  Here’s how it all started.  It was my friends birthday and we met at Lockdown Bar n Grill for a quick drink before heading across the way to the Empty Bottle (you know these links in here are clicky for a reason, just in case you wanna get a better feel for some of my adventures.)  Lock Down is a real live heavy metal bar but not gross and trashy like you might expect.  And it’s not cheezy pseudo heavy metal either.  They are blasting heavy metal and there are videos on the screen and it’s pretty loud.  That’s cool.  Not really my gig anymore but I have an affinity for metal since when I was in my sophomore year in highschool I became kind of a metal head, and that  kinda carried with me through highschool a little.  I liked metal.  I wasn’t so much the typical burnout kid, but I did like the music.  I was pretty normal I think for the most part.  But that’s how I am with music.  I really don’t feel the need to dress like the music I listen to.  I like some got and industrial and some hardcore punk rock (if it’s been played on the radio EVER it is most likely NOT punk, just an fyi.  Also if it sounds happy, it is not punk.), still like it from time to time, but I don’t know that I feel the need to wear black clothing 24-7 and guy-liner and get a shitload of tattoos or whatever to show the world my music preference.

So my point to all this rambling is I appreciated Lock Down, but other adventures awaited.  It was time to go across to the Empty Bottle for Hipster Soul Night.  I don’t think it was really called Hipster Soul Night but that’s what it ended up being.  We got there early when the place was pretty empty.  There was only me and my friend and his wife at first, but then a couple other chicks showed up that I thought were cute but ended up being (as I suspected) a lesbian couple.  Oh well. . . No flirting there…

So we just chatted, and I ended up talking to my buddy a little and then chatting up the interestingly cute, nerdy black server girl with her vintage glasses and her green hair.  Part of me thought she was ultra nerdy and hipster and part of me wanted to fuck her.  That’s something that’s normal for me.  Sometimes I feel like I want to fuck a girl and at the same time feel like I do not.  In those cases I usually opt out assuming that I may not wanna fuck her more than once if there are already reservations, but I bet under the right circumstances I would totally be DTF with that waitress.  Maybe I’ll go back some day and check her out again. I told her where I work so you never know.  She might even show up in my world.

Soon the bar started getting busier and people started filtering in little by little.  That’s when another girl showed up, who was a friend of my buddy and his wife.  She was cute too.  Dark hair and a pretty face and these big fake boobs (and if they’re not fake I will be even happier) and, at first, I was a little intimidated.  But that was a sign to me I liked her.  I didn’t talk to her at first but focused on just chilling, having a good time and… Oh ya!  I almost forgot to mention the drink specials.

$5.50 for a Beer and a Shot.  That’s right.  And the special for Saturday and Sunday were that you could pick any of the specials from Monday through Friday.  My favorite special ended up being Monday’s which was Bell’s Amber Ale and a well shot.  Well shots can be tricky but the bartender made it known that the well whiskey was Ten High which is actually not a bad cheap whiskey at all.  Needless to day I ended up getting pretty shitfaced by the time the night was over, which totally ruined my logistics and escalation on said dark hair girl, but…  Well let me back up and tell you the digs.

So after a bit I struck up a little conversation with the dark haired beauty.  It got a little bantery pretty quick and she was fun to talk to.  Now keep in mind I was drinking so I can’t possibly give you the play by play, and to be honest, I’m not even sure how we started talking or what we talked about for the most part.  That’s just how it is when one drinks I suppose – it’s all vibe at that point.  I know pretty quickly but now like super immediately quick, my hand reached for her belly to check it out (definitely let’s the girl know I am flirting.  I pretty much think there’s no doubt at that point.) and she deferred me away, but not in a rejection type way.  Some girls are a little sensitive about their bellies not being magazine perfect or whatever.  I thought it was nice… 😉  But it prompted the discussion of her working out on the Chuck Norris total gym and so on to my favorite girl topic, working out.

And over time we ebbed and flowed as far as taking to each other.  She would talk to other people or I would talk to someone or randomly wander to check out the crowd in the bar, which got super fucking crowded after a while.  But then, I’m not even sure how this was brought up, but later she and I were at the bar drinking or ordering drinks and soon enough guess what topic was brought up?  Her biceps.  All I remember was her telling me something about them, and me saying I thought biceps on chicks were hot and she saying something like, “Well if you like biceps you’ll love mine.” or something to that effect.  Makes me a little horny just writing this. . . Anyway, naturally I grab her bicep closest to me with both hands and she flexes it.  Not like flexing like a bodybuilder like putting on this big show, but flexing it in hands while her arm was resting on the bar.  Doesn’t matter.  I felt and I liked what she had.  I know I probably had to do it like 5 to 10 times during our conversation, probably telling her how hot it was or something to that effect, and each time she would flex it, which only encouraged me.  I guess she liked that I liked her biceps.

Annnnnddd…  After a while the conversation got more and more interesting.  Somehow I remember us talking about wresting, and Of Course, she started telling me how she would kick my ass at wrestling. . .  That’s pretty much the same to my ears as a chick telling me, “I would love to suck your cock.”  It has the same effect.  It only makes me super turned on.  I’m not some weak dude and I’m not saying some chick could kick my ass at wrestling, but even the prospect of it turns me on.  It pretty only egged me on to the point where I decided to bite her bicep.  I just leaned over and bit it.  You know…  I bite. I like to 😉  It’s a sign of affection.  And now that was the new thing.  I don’t know how many times for the rest of the night I bit her bicep but I did it a lot, and she kept staying there taking to me, though she might push me away or pull away but…  She liked it too.

But alas, the alcohol took it’s course and the Bell’s and Ten High totally kicked my ass and I left the bar feeling that, “Ahhh shit…  I’m over drunk…  Why is everything spinning?  I need some air…” kinda feeling.  But the good news is, when I got home I checked and there was a phone number in my phone with the initial T saved.  So I made sure to send her 3 drunk texts at about 3:30 am or so which read something along the lines of me telling her I think I bit her which meant 2 things:

1.  I was drunk

2.  I think she was sexy

And today about 9:30 am she responded with a little banter and cockiness. During our little text discussion I texted her “I like you.  Maybe 😉 I totally intend on asking you to coffee or wine or some random adventure soon.  And maybe let you try and wrestle me.  Fyi.  Of course this was after me texting her about her claims of kicking my ass at wresting and her response of, “Haaaaa!!  I can.”

But to my little direct proclamation above she replied, “No wrestling….you bite like a girl”  And my reply was, “I was being nice” followed a few minutes later by “My mom never told me to bite girls hard when I first meet them”

…and that was that.  No reply from her and no more texts from me, but it’s fine since she just got done telling me she was going to pilates at 10 and it was like 7 minutes to.

So the question is…  What happens next? . . . We shall see…

Sidecar:

Ok ok ok…  I will put a movie section down below in this post as promised above.  If what is going on in this country interests you, if you are politically interested or active in any way, please check out at least one of these videos.  Maybe you can bookmark this page if this stuff interests you and come back periodically and check this stuff out.  Some are short and some are LONG as fuck, but they are totally enlightening.  By the way, as always, DON’T BELIEVE A WORD OF THIS STUFF.  Do your own research on the stuff discussed and decide your own path.  Some of these cats have very similar viewpoints and then some of their views differ.  Some of the stuff is right on, in my opinion and then some is right the fuck out there, however I won’t tell you what to believe, you do that on your own.  But the story and the theme remains the same, and you can learn a fuck of a lot from these videos.  Free Your Mind School is now in session:

Ron Paul predictions in 2002  (He’s not psychic so he must know what the hell he’s talking about)

John Stewart on the News Coverage of Ron Paul

Alex Jones – The Obama Deception

Bill Still – The Money Masters (No really – this is definitely a must watch)

Aquarius – Age of Evil (Christian Based, but hey… Some of us still like God despite how uncool it may be 😉 )

David Icke – Secrets of the Matrix part 1 of 3 (more new agey and has it’s own twist but still a good speaker and full or good information)

Michael Tsarion – 2012 – The Future of Mankind

Loose Change (mostly about the events about 9/11 and terrorism)

Yummy Kristy Enos (sorry – got sidetracked)