The Porn-Masturbation Connection – How Porn Can Ruin Your Sex Life and Make You Less of a Man

Alright, time to get back to serious after a little kickass house music yesterday (or was it the day before?)  I am starting a sort of case study (basically a new page) based on the concept that there are powers that be out in the world that DON’T want you having a healthy sex life, called, “They Don’t Want You to Get Laid.”  I haven’t made the page yet but it’s coming soon, and basically this will be one of the featured articles on the page.  I decided to reblog this, it’s about Masturbating to Porn and the many ways it can basically emasculate you and stop you from having a quality sex life. 

This originally appeared on the Harvard Crimson website. Here we go. ~RL

5Qs about Pornography with Dr. Donald L. Hilton, Jr. MD

Dr. Donald L. Hilton is a neurosurgeon at the University of Texas and delivered the annual “White Ribbon Against Pornography Week” lecture, sponsored by True Love Revolution.

By EMILY R. BRESLOW, CONTRIBUTING WRITER April 7, 2011

Fifteen Minutes: What are some of the challenges that come with the study of pornography?

Donald L. Hilton: A big one is the difficulty of finding a control group—few men have never seen porn. Also, because the topic is tied to ideological assumptions, people assume that if you show porn is bad, you must be a religious fanatic, making it hard to be taken seriously. Although, people are beginning to recognize it as a legitimate addiction.

FM: Tom Wolfe once said, “The bigger pornography gets, the lower the birthrate becomes.” Is there any truth in this?

DLH: Pornography emasculates men—they depend on porn to get sexually excited and can no longer get off by having sex with their women alone. What happens when you are addicted to porn is that you crave it. Real sex even becomes a poor substitute for porn, and you lose interest. This in turn contributes to the decreased fertility rate—making porn a kind of environmentally friendly population control. Although, the benefits gained from population control are vastly outweighed by the damage addiction does to families and individuals.

FM: When a species is endangered, scientists often look for environmental reasons. You claim that porn is causing the endangerment of the “real man”: what do you mean by this, and what are the environmental causes?

DLH: What it means to be a real man varies across time and space: for example, growing up in Southeast Texas it meant playing football, but for many it means to provide for your family and to be a caring husband. When you are addicted you can’t help but feed your addiction at the expense of everyone around you. Porn is fast, cheap, and easy—three things that emotionally involved copulations with a partner are not, so men are foregoing the latter for the former.

FM: What is going on neurologically in someone who is addicted to pornography?

DLH: What we see in people addicted to porn is the same as what we see with people addicted to drugs such as cocaine, supporting the theory that addiction to porn really is an addiction, and not merely a bad habit. The most significant areas of change are in the control and pleasure centers of the brain. Additionally, when we orgasm, we release a neurotransmitter called oxytocin which causes bonding, so we are literally bonding to porn when we use it to get off—making breaking the addiction that much harder.

FM: How widespread is porn use?

DLH: Over the past five years, the world pornography revenue was $97 billion annually. Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. The only reason these numbers aren’t higher is because so much porn is available for free! Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing porn. Eighty-seven percent of college men and 31 percent of college women admit to watching porn. Twenty percent of college men watch porn daily—suggesting a possible addiction. Porn is used more by men than women because men have the ability to engage more quickly, and more porn is geared toward men than women.

You can find the original article by clicking here.

Questions, comments?  Maybe you had an experience dealing with this kind of thing and you had a breakthrough that you think might help others.  Feel free to let it out!

Until next time…

Overcompensating – The DREAD of the Intermediate Seducer

I came across a video earlier today when bouncing around on my twitter account.  I watched the video and the old familiar dread started to hit me.  Guys, EVEN guys coaching this stuff, still have one HUGE sticking point. That is overcompensation.  Whether it be “Overcompensating Alpha” or “Overcompensating Abundance Mindset” or whatever.  Overcompensating is a HUGE thing that fucks up so many people in the Seduction Community.  In pretty much every case it is never the real deal.  It is covering up for the thing they lack. 

In the case of a guy who is overcompensating alpha behaviors, it’s usually to try and make up for his fear that he is not alpha enough, and that is usually after he studies something, somewhere about how the alpha male is the one getting all the tail. (Hey I like that.  It rhymes. – The alpha male gets all the tail.)  So now this guy who a week ago who was timid and shy is now trying to be alpha but is clumsy with it so he either just comes across as annoying or he goes out of his way every chance he gets to prove his “alpha” behavior traits.  So now when a girl he texts to go out, doesn’t show up to the date, he says, “FUCK THAT BITCH!  I’ll show her not to waste my time!  I am an ALPHA MALE!  I’ll make sure she knows it and I won’t give her an opportunity to go out with me EVER AGAIN!”  Meanwhile the poor guy just completely missed the point of being alpha.  Because where he thinks in his mind he is being this big alpha male, he is ACTUALLY making a bigger deal out of her not showing up than it really was.  Where if he was calm, cool, and nonreactive he could have texted her or called her later and had the possibility of even using her flake as a way to escalate the interaction toward sex.

That’s just one example.  The list, unfortunately goes on and on.  “Not buying girls drinks,” becomes, “Don’t take girls on dates,” becomes as one guy put it recently on a private forum I belong to (and unfortunately in that case also he was coaching other guys), “Relationships are boring,” then later, “I don’t do that whole date thing.”  In other words, you can see where I’m going with this.  When guys let TRAINING rules become guidelines to define their lives, and they overcompensate for their lack of something in their personality, they create a mess.  If a guy wont take his own girlfriend on a date because he let a rule about – not buying bottle-rats in a nightclub a drink or taking a girl out to a $150 dinner so she can politely kiss him on the cheek and then go home and call “Jobless-Backwards-Hat-Guy” to come over and rail her – take over his life, but then complains that girlfriends are boring…  I mean, come on man.  It’s your job as a man to LEAD.  If shit is boring in your relationship, then take her out.  If a fear of getting taken advantage of has infested your mind to the point that you overcompensate “Alpha” by avoiding going and having adventure-time with your girl – well, not very alpha is it?  But the list of these things in the community goes ON and ON…

This kind of thing is, in reality, just about the same thing as a guy buying an expensive sports car because he thinks it will get him more women in his life.

Which brings me to the next point.  Overcompensating Abundance due to Lack of Abundance.  Let’s watch this video by a guy who is coaching for Daygame.com – then I will follow up with the reply I left on their blog about the video (which is what prompted me to write this big Diatribe in the first place… 😉 )

(Interesting how now the video is marked “Private” – Just noticed as of 10/25/2014.  Basically he was talking about how there IS no Soulmate or there IS no One Special Girl in the world.  Tom El Toro or whatever his name is from Daygame.com seemed really bitter and jaded in this video and reminded me of a guy who just found out about the community and still hadn’t dealt with the anger issues.  That’s kind of the point of this article.)

My reply:

Yes and no. I think you have good intentions by teaching this, but it’s also part of the dogma that screws up so many guys in the community.

Check it out, back in the day Mystery said it best. We are learning a skillset so that when we do come across that amazing girl we are ready to act and know what to do (not an exact quote but I’m too lazy too look it up).

Some guys get into this community to find a girl, get married, and live happily ever after. The funny thing is, I know guys who did just that. They went out a few times and ended up meeting a kickass girl they liked and then got married. So what? I don’t see anything wrong with that idea.

Personally, I have slept with so many girls at this point I can’t count them, but I STILL believe the one is out there. I do think there is a perfect chick out there for me. But the DIFFERENCE between the way I go about it and the way most guys will go about it is what you talk about, “oneitis”.

However, what so many what I call “New School” guys (like yourselves) tend to do is overcompensate a lot of rules that were made as stepping stones towards seduction NOT die-hard rules.

For instance, guys like to take things like, “Don’t buy girls drinks,” to ridiculous proportions. SO you got guys doing boneheaded shit like inviting a girl to go out for drinks and then when the tab come looking at the girl like, “are you going to pay your half?”

That doesn’t come across as Alpha or Socially Savvy – it actually has the opposite effect. The guy comes across as Socially Awkward and a Cheap Ass – kinda like the friend I had in highschool who would ask for gas money after asking me to come to the mall with him.

Same thing in this case. ONEITIS – It is not meant to teach guys to have this sad, hopeless, bleak outlook that there is not a kickass perfect girl for them out there. It is meant to instruct guys to go out, keep playing, and approach LEARNING from an ABUNDANCE mindset. So instead of the new guy going after only one woman, he can go after several to LEARN HIS SKILLSET.

But again, unfortunately a lot of the new-blood misconstrued the concept and now it has become more than a stepping stone to training, it has become an IDEAL – It has become DOGMA! Actually, what is has done is also become a PROTECTION, a SHIELD against getting hurt. So in essence, where you say it is coming at things from an ABUNDANCE mindset – the reality is that it is actually viewing things from a SCARCITY Mentality.

Reason being, you said it yourself. There are literally billions of people out there. So you’re saying that out of all those billions of people out there, you can’t find a chick who is perfect for you and vice versa? I know you kinda stated it as, “There are several the ‘the ones’”, and that’s about the closest you got to it, but that most important point is buried by the bleakness of the rest of your presentation.

So let’s go back. Why are you preaching scarcity? Because a man of TRUE abundance would have absolutely no DOUBT that there is a perfect girl for him. That’s abundance thinking. Ya, there are a LOT of kickass girls, but for sure there is one amazing chick out there for me. But I’m not going to stop, drop and roll and just look for her. No man, life is a journey and I will enjoy all these chicks along the way, maybe even thinking that the current or next girl could be her, I might even allow myself to “fall in love” with the girl, if it’s even for 1 night. So when I say scarcity, the REASON guys say there is no “One” is to PROTECT THEMSELVES from FAILURE. That’s not abundance thinking at all. You’re afraid of putting yourself out there and getting rejected.

It is simply an intermediate form of “fear of rejection”.

But it’s also an indicator of where you’re at with your game. I just hope that, now, because you are coaching that you can still have an open mind and learn this, instead of being stuck in rigid, community dogma type thinking.

So have a true abundance mindset. I’m a badass motherfucker! Of COURSE there is one kickass Rare, superfly chick out there who is a perfect match for me. There could only be one BECAUSE I’m so rare, amazing and unique! I may find her one day or I may not, but I will look for her, and have a hell of a lot of fun in the process.

In the long run, by having that positive mindset, a guy can actually go – “hmmm. Holy shit! This girl I’ve been with for the past year… She’s pretty awesome.”

The DANGER of what you are talking about is teaching guys who come into this just to find a girlfriend that there is something wrong with that. Guys come into the community thinking they want a girlfriend and come across overcompensating dogma, and believe it. Now the guy who just wanted a girlfriend thinks he needs to fuck multiple women. Then he comes across more bad information and thinks the girls he fucks are not hot enough. He can’t just like the girl he met at the party last month; he has to bang strippers, the hot club bartender and the supermodel.

You see what I’m saying? It goes ON AND ON AND ON. Where does it stop? With a guy getting frustrated because the goals he acquired since he joined the community are not even his own goals anymore, but the goals of desperate guys who were trying to figure out ways to overcompensate for their lack of abundance?

No man, don’t crush the dream. Just teach men a different approach to getting there… ;)

Just to summarize. These rules are made to learn not to adhere to as life-defining dogma.

1. My example of “Not buying girls drinks.” – It is meant to teach guys to be wary of the outdated concept of buying a girl a drink to gain her attention. It is so new guys don’t go to a club and some bottle-rat asks him to buy her a drink, and he thinks it’s going to help him get laid. In other words, it is so he does not get taken advantage of.

2 . Oneitis – It is meant as a training tool to keep guys focused on pursuing multiple women at the same time so they can learn a skillset. It is meant as a way to have them understand, at first, that there is “no special girl” so they don’t get stuck chasing after one girl. In my opinion, playing with many is the key to finding the one. By not assuming each of them is AUTOMATICALLY special we can be free to find out for real which one really PROVES to be special.

That’s the point so many people miss. True abundance vs overcompensating for scarcity with false abundance.

It is NOT meant to deter them from relationships. What I like to tell guys is, they can do what they ultimately want. Relationships are cool. But if you want to get better at seduction it takes practice and setting down with one chick can stall out progress. But it is all about TRAINING. Not about IDEALS to adhere and cling to to define one’s life.

You dig?

Questions, Comments, Love, Hate?  Share it here in the comments and SUBSCRIBE!!  😉

Cheers!

RSVP: An In-Field How-To Guide for Fast Social Circle Game

(This is like FAST Social Circle style game created by one of my Wings back when I was in Detroit. This post was also posted on the Mastermind section of masf back in the day. ~Ronnie)

Themesong:

by Sonics (retired) » November 15th, 2009, 4:05 pm
RSVP: An In-Field How-To Guide

Disclaimer: This Was Written For Educational Purposes Only

For my fellow deep thinkers in shallow thought:

When I’m out gaming I have two main ways of playing: Moment Game which is more of a solo feel or RSVP, which is a group oriented thing that I like to do, or an everybody I’m with gets to play type thing… RSVP is much more tangible as you’ll hopefully see

RSVP is my natural process, at least what my natural pull from the venue process has become… just assigned an acronym to it, once I found the acronym not only did my game improve but you can cut the process down to 30 seconds and pull girls around the venue, very consistently. It by no means is something to live by or to use as a strict rule, but for certain aspects of game, for me, it’s a good guideline.

Think of RSVP as a routine pick-up or a routine bounce. The process and result becomes routine.

My Goal with This Post:

To have everyone (that wants to) reading this with a basic skill set be able to do a 5-30 second RSVP Quick Bounce tonight.

RSVP:

Basic Skill Level:

Eye Contact, Smile, Good Body Language, Loud Enough, Un-limiting Beliefs (at least the belief that RSVP will work… it does, trust)

Hopeless newbies, if they truly exist, can pull this off with a little willingness and some guidance… I’ve gotten one of the most socially awkward guys I’ve ever seen to do this first try, he stumbled through the process and got even more nervous as soon as it worked, like “holy shit, this girl is smiling and following me to the table” nervous… pretty funny in a proud way (Hopeless newbies are only hopeless if they aren’t willing, my anxiety was much worse than his when I got started, I had it bad)

I wrote this as if I were a newbie with only basic community knowledge reading it, so the post came out LONG, IOW this post is very much a “how-to”

The quick bounce might feel mechanical at first but once you get the hang of it “or get the training wheels off” aka being able to improvise it and forgetting about the RSVP structure altogether it becomes fluid and second nature and also a great tool for the field, if you choose to you’ll be used to pulling girls around the venue to a table with you in no time… have fun with it… run the structure, attain the belief, and, if you can, forget you ever read this…

RSVP Quick Bounce in its rawest simplest form:

First have your friends/wings take a seat somewhere… then… go up to a set

PUA: Hey what’s up, you guys having a good night?
HBs: yeah
PUA: I’m actually sitting over there with my friends… let me see your hand [grabs HB’s hand, spin/twirls her around] You know what… you guys are actually pretty cool, come on [pulls set to table]

It’s that easy.

Further explanation below…

RSVP:

Rapport
Seed
Value
Pull

RSVP Quick Bounce:

5-30 second in Venue Group Bounces/Pulls:

In-venue…

Indirect will pull the SET…

If you go direct, mean it and make sure you calibrate it, calibrate everything, it still works consistently and if you’re comfortable with that then that’s the route I recommend you go… I’d save the actual direct interest (SOI) until your back at the table with a second set; but do what you want, you’re going to anyway

Indirect will pull the SET

The Quick Bounce is a group conscious social (on the surface) thing, meaning you’re taking care of your friends while simultaneously setting yourself up with your target. It also gets people involved that might not have been involved otherwise, guys with wicked AA or your non-pickup friends that don’t approach get to chat and possibly hook-up with some girls too… girls want to be social, remember that.

How-To:

(The following are the Steps followed by numbered examples (all field tested) but I encourage you to think of your own and once you get a feel for it freestyle your quick bounces)

Rapport:

Is Assumed… In the quick bounce you’re most likely not going to hit real rapport as soon as you walk up, just do or say something that someone in rapport would do or say… Feels like–> Same page, welcome, cool, chill, mutual, small teases will open the door to rapport… calibrate to the vibe, energy, environment, and maturity level of the set then do/say something like one of the following:

1) Introduce yourself
2) “What’s up”
3) “How ya guys doing?”

Seed:

1) TC while Seeding the pull/bounce/isolation
2) “Real quick… I gotta get back to my friends”
3) “I only have a second, my friends and I got a table”

*TC not needed

Value:

(Own the set at this point (smile) all eyes on you)

The following are some ways to Give Value with some examples:
(You only need ONE of the examples for the V part… Just pick one or two of the examples (or use your own), string them together then pull the set)

Cold/Warm Read

1) You’re the one that’s going to find fun, you’re the one that’s going to take all the fun as it comes, and you… wait, who are you… you’re either the shy one or the driver
2) You guys look like you’re out for a chill night
3) You guys have some Crazy energy

Group Name

1) Charlie’s Angels
2) The Brady Bunch
3) Tyra’s Top Models (intro to your group with sarcastic laughter “just kidding, but you guys are pretty cute” pull–>push–>pull)

Individual Nicknames

1) Mary and Poppins
2) Tweedle Dee and Tweedle… Well [nod knowingly]
3) Cherry & Vanilla/ Cookies & Cream

Good Kino

1) Hand hold
2) Leading her from lower back
3) Couple Kino
4) Playful Push

Role Plays

1) OMG!! Hide Me!!
2) Employee of the month
3) Body Guards
4) Instant Dates/Group Date

Spin Moves

1) Grab/Hold hand and spin her (super simple and effective)
2) Group Spins

State Pumps

1) Social Circle Cheers
2) Improv Game (TD’s thing)
3) Ninja/Bear/Cowboy
4) Any fun/funny thing you can think of that they do with you

Teach Her/Them Something

1) Limes in Coronas

Genuine Interest/Direct

1) You guys have a really cool style, I just wanted to stop and hi
2) My god, you’re beautiful…

Giving A Piece of Yourself (info about you)

1) I just got down here from xxx
2) I’m on vacation

Pull:

Don’t ask, and lead…

1) You know what, you guys are pretty cool, I want you to meet some of my friends
2) You know what, follow me
3) Come with me
4) C’mon

Token resistance is common, especially if you’re doing the 10 second version… just smile and say “C’mon… C’mon” DO NOT STEP BACK TOWARDS THE SET… I’ve seen guys do this… WRONG (there are exceptions to this; but for the most part DO NOT STEP BACK TOWARDS THE SET)

There might be a small amount of fluff between the steps and the more value you give them the more enthused they are about the pull; but the above only lasts for about 30 seconds and you own a set… they follow you to where you’re going.

During the move around the venue you can do the arm in arm thing that Mystery talks about or grab one or more of their hands to lead them to where you’re going, or arm around one’s back hand hold the other (like Group Couple Kino (Insta-Dates/Group Date Role Play)), or if it’s super busy have them all interlock arms or hold hands and pull them through the crowd

Make sure to accomplishment intro your friend(s) on the way to the table.

The set is now yours to play with, they lock in with you, tone it down and GET TO KNOW YOUR TARGET, by the time you’re at the table the Kino is ideally Constant (Constant Kino)

Do this a few times and you and your friends have an in-venue party. You become the sets’ base group. It’s neat when girls you’ve known for a minute make sure their friends stay with you to keep themselves locked in…

The first set you bring back ALWAYS likes you more when you bring the second set… it’s beautiful… if it’s your first time pulling more than one set to your table, sit back and watch the dynamic when you get the chance, it’s pretty… this is also when it gets fun. Make it quick, 10 minutes max to getting the sets there. They never know what’s going on… lol …it’s a mixer… Isolating from one of these groups is simple

You don’t necessarily need a table, just a lock-in place (like a wall) or if it’s a chill place get your friends by a pool table… but know that the girls will psychologically lock-in if you have a table and you’ll get that group vibe close quarters jealousy plot as well… (a table/place to sit is better than an area where everyone stands, unless you’re just dropping off an obstacle(s) then it doesn’t matter.)

Your Social Value/Proof in the room sky rockets, especially amongst your sets. (If appropriate, sprinkle in some compliance based state pumps to keep the party going)

RSVP in its Rawest, Simplest, Least Fun, Yet Effective Form:

PUA: Hey what’s up, you guys having a good night?
HBs: yeah (R)
PUA: I only have second, I’m sitting over there with my friends (S)… but here, let me see your hand [grabs HBs hand, spin/twirls her/them around] You know what… you guys are actually pretty cool (V), come on, I want you to meet my friends [pulls set to table] (P)

…10 seconds

Like I said earlier it might feel mechanical at first, but you’ll get the hang of it (it’s actually kind of fun to act like a robot when doing it)

The Behavior Rule:

Everybody knows the 3-Second rule… That’s great if you’re just starting off or you haven’t been out in awhile to just get a set out of the way and your nerves at bay; but for RSVP (or IMO all aspects of pick-up) it’s Not Always the best route.

Quickly observe the sets behavior: high-energy, low-energy, sleepy, chatty, super happy, bored, deep rapport, fun night out, their body language, sitting, standing, moving, mixed, waiting, bouncing, looking around, empty drinks, texting, dancing, swinging bottles… I admit that that takes much less than 3 seconds… instantly at a glance you guys should know what’s up or at least have a general idea of what’s going on in their set (if you don’t have this ability yet, just keep going into sets and it’ll happen over time, observe guess and go)

The reason I like the behavior rule more is because if the sets behavior tells you they’re waiting for a drink and you apply the 3-second rule you’ll be up at the bar with them waiting to buy a drink… if the competition is fierce go ahead, but if it’s a chill environment just wait it out.

Ideally standing sets with full drinks are best for this, they’re everywhere and require little to no effort on your part for the actual pull.

Do the in-venue quick bounce a couple times and you’ll get a feel for it.

Just remember standing sets are easier to move around, obviously, because they’re already standing. (Standing girls are also easier to disappear with for the same reason)

Troubleshooting:

If you’re getting a lot of hesitation when you do this it could be a couple things, some things to remember when doing this:
1) Smile
2) Have fun
3) String/stack some of your ways to give/assign value
4) Only Give Value
5) Make sure you’ve observed the whole set
6) Calibrated to their energy, the environment, perceived maturity, and vibe
7) It Works Belief (I truly believe that every standing set wants to quick bounce)
Seating does become a problem during the weekend… use your head on this one/improvise
9) Learn as you go… play with it… be charming and learn as you go, this is a simple process. You can all do this tonight…

**For the real pull**

This is how RSVP originated (I wrote a post called “After Party Routine” about a year ago, this is what I was unknowingly doing minus the P, it was all time-bridged and it still works; but personally I like this more because of quality time and the venue changing) It’s a little bit harder to explain in specific detail because every set is different… super simple to do but a little tough to explain. You’re hitting rapport, dropping your seed, openly sharing/exchanging value, then pulling out of the venue based on your seed planted earlier or your new plan… simple as that. Don’t think about it, just do it. I’ve gotten a lot of sex from this.

In short:

RSVP Out of Venue Pull:

(Set/target leaves out of the venue with you to new place or destination)

No quick bounce or wings necessary, not necessarily linear (RSVP to a table or join a set, then RSVP out of the venue (only one playable set needed), standing sets are easier to move around, seated sets are easier to pick up (for me at least))

Most important thing to remember, when you’re going to venue change or pull out of the venue, that many people I’ve been out gaming with seem to disregard is to STAY IN SET… why the hell do people keep ejecting out of sets? Unless you get blown-out or are ejecting for a legitimate or tactical reason, STAY IN YOUR SETS. Growth/knowledge/calibration will come from staying in your sets and seeing it through. You’ll learn which sets are wasting your time by staying in sets that had wasted your time; likewise, you’ll learn which sets are worth your time by staying in set and seeing it through. Use your little head and your gut to decide on whether or not to eject… Premature-Ejectulation is not a blow-out; it’s avoidable and non-productive on so many levels. Just stay in set… You don’t need game with flash to get ass… trust me. If the set wants to pull, your game is done, at that point feel free to wander… until then STAY IN SET…

How-To:
(The steps)

Rapport:

Hooked set, set likes you, same page, cool with each other, real, smooth sailing, chill, friends with potential benefits feel, good vibes, mutual, relaxed, comfortable, locked-in, remember small teases open the door to rapport

Seed the pull:

Near the beginning drop your seed to plant the pull and also to check for enthusiasm. This also involves getting their logistics, or figuring out what their plans are for the near future. If the logistics are seriously bad, time-bridge and move on

Sharing/Exchanging Value:

Run the set for however long you feel necessary, exchange stories, get to know each other, enjoy yourself and play your game… talking/hanging out

Pull:

The group is ready to pull when all the girls (only the girls you want to pull) are putting in effort or have invested effort into the interaction with you, along with other social observations like empty drinks and closing time

Pull the set by bringing up the seed and leaving the venue or by going along with a new plan (going with them for instance) Many times the girls will WANT to leave with you. Going to their/her place is better and more consistent. If driving is involved either get in the car with them or have a wing jump in with them to help with directions… The sets impression of your wings does depend on whether or not they will pull… so, have good wings or don’t get them involved

(ATTAIN THE BELIEF and forget the structure.)

Once you have the belief and you know what to look for in BL, their effort, and vibe, pulling becomes second nature.

IF The Set Will Not Pull:

Watch the set when you go for the pull (really always be focused)… then, if they aren’t going to pull, time-bridge if they hesitate too much to pull and/or also if you have an actual time constraint to be somewhere… time-bride her/them based on your seed or topic in your conversation…

Regularly succeed at a goal (in this case pulling) and you’ve created a skill…

Have Fun,

-Sonics

 

Questions, comments or just some love…  As Always