Microcalibration Mini-Course – Everything You Need To Know to Step Up Your Game to Another Level

Microcalibration

Ah yes.  So many completely are unaware of the concepts these days, or are doing it completely wrong.  And yet this is SUCH an INTEGRAL part of game, probably one of the top 5 things you should REALLY know and know WELL if you ever want to get past the MASS approach and into a little more finesse based game.  This is the shit that separates the men from the boys, so to speak. Many guys may think they know this but most guys I come across really do not.  That’s why a MAJORITY of guys either have problems with cocky/funny, push/pull or negs, or getting dates, or why so many guys JUST CAN’T SEEM to hook those sets – because they are simply unfamiliar with this concept.  This is the basic groundwork for much of your game.  In other word, if you don’t know this your game is probably pretty bad.  When you know this you wont do things like talk about (anymore) how negs don’t work, or ask questions about how come a chick lost interest after you riddled her with IOIs after she was giving you IODs.

This started out as a pointer I gave to a guy who posted an infield video of him doing some approaches in the Midlair, and I wanted to help him understand what he was doing wrong. EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW THIS.  I mean, you don’t NEED to know anything, really, but this is something that is KEY to pretty much every one of my Lays and IMO is a key element to the concept of what game is.

I think, personally, I am writing this because I am lazy a little and I think this will be a great link to just copy-paste when so many new guys, or even experienced guys have the same issues over and over.  This is DEFINITELY a compilation of OPP (other people’s posts) because I really don’t feel the need to rehash other people’s shit and take credit or try and reinvent the wheel.

This is ABSOLUTELY meant to be a mini-course on Microcalibration, so that if you read, watch and study everything in this video you really should have a pretty solid idea of what Microcalibration is and how to run it in field.  So take your time, book mark it if you need to because there is quite a full course in here and it may take you a bit to get through this and understand the process (especially since there is over an hour of video work alone)  But DON’T SKIP AHEAD!  Do this in order for best results.  Let’s get started.

A simplified micro-calibration version is basically if she is giving you IOI’s you give her IOI’s spiced with IOD’s as intermittent rewarding which will lead toward compliance.

If she gives you an IOD return with an IOD then follow it with an IOI giving her a chance to redeem herself.  This is important.

1. HB: IOI -> PUA: IOI or  IOD -> Repeat

2. HB: IOD -> PUA: IOD then IOI -> Go to option 1

Lovedrop’s Example:

Is there some way to soften the impact when showing interest, enabling you to get away with it while still preserving your own value and her comfort levels?

Yes! Simply calibrate the IOI by adding an IOD at the end. For example, if I say to a girl, “I like you,” that is obviously an IOI. Therefore, I will calibrate it by following up with an IOD such as, “. . . Too bad I’m not sure about you yet.”

Mystery might say: “Wow, you are amazing.” [IOI] “I mean, don’t get me wrong . . . in five minutes you could say the wrong thing and totally botch it.” [IOD] In this way he balances interest with disinterest, enabling him to get away with much more than otherwise would have been possible.

The bit of disinterest at the end is what we call an IOD Calibrator, because it allows us to calibrate the impact of the IOI. Mystery teaches to always soften an IOI by adding an IOD calibrator at the end, which allows you to get away with significantly more escalation than you otherwise would have. Gambits and touches that would normally be interpreted as too forward—and thus resisted—are instead welcomed. For example, let’s say that you take a woman’s hand in yours for some innocent and harmless thumb-wrestling. But . . . by taking her hand, you have also just telegraphed interest, and that IOI could very well make her feel more resistant, causing her to pull away. Therefore, you must balance the IOI of taking her hand by adding an IOD calibrator such as by telling her, “Don’t get any funny ideas.”

It’s this slight bit of disinterest that makes it possible to get away with holding her hand when she normally would have pulled away.

Another example of this is to lean back and cross your arms (IOD) as you say, “I’m curious about you . . .” (IOI).

Another example is to hug a woman (IOI), and then push her away saying, “Ok that’s all you get.” (IOD).

Another example is to look away (IOD) as you put your hand on a woman’s shoulder, (IOI) and then a second later, look back in her eyes (IOI) as you release your hand from her shoulder with a little push (IOD).

So, the first principle of microcalibration is to always increase the effectiveness of your IOIs by softening them with an IOD calibrator. This principle should always be at work in your social behavior.

The next principle in microcalibration is to always return disinterest for disinterest. If she gives me an IOD, then I must give her an IOD as well; otherwise I would be rewarding bad behavior. When I take her hand, I am calibrating in real-time to her responses. Does she put her hand in mine and squeeze it a little? Or do I detect even a slight resistance? If I feel that she is pulling back, even slightly, then I will pre-empt things by throwing away her hand.

Because she gave me an IOD (the resistance I felt in her touch), so I will return with an IOD by tossing her hand away with a dismissive brush of my fingers, as if I were discarding a piece of trash. This is called a hand-throw. If you do this properly, she will feel a powerful jolt of  devalidation which will condition her to become more compliant in the future, as well as prompt her to put more effort into gaining your attention and approval. She may even become indignant. I’ve received more than one angry “Did you just throw my hand away?!?!” Women really feel the emotion generated by a well-executed hand-throw.

Sinn’s Example:

This article will assume basic knowledge of the following:

In any human interaction, there are only four means of communication that take place.
IOIs indicators of interest
IODs Indicators of disinterest
DHVs Demos of high value
DLVs Demos of low value
Add in Compliance Tests (CTs) and a base line of punishment reward and you have social interaction in a formula.

This came about because last year I was finding that with some girls I had to neg a million times to get any IOIs while with others they would ask me for my name  right after I opened or tell me I was hot. If I continued DHVing they would get weirded out. However if I started qualifying them it often didn’t take. So I started  putting an IOI in before my qualification attempt it went better.

Wrong
Girl: You’re cute! Where are you from?
Sinn: Buy me a drink before you hit on me! IOD What do you have going for you besides your looks? Compliance test

Right
Sinn: Buy me a drink before you hit on me! IOD You are very pretty IOI.. but beauty is common what do you have going for you besides your looks? CT

The balancing of IOIs and IOD is a key element.

I think of it as a seesaw:
If I throw too may IODs that weighs down one side of the seesaw and I’m an asshole.
If I throw too many IOIs that weighs down the other side making me an AFC
But if I adjust every IOD with a potential IOI and every IOI with a potential IOD I attain balance and my sets work like magic.
Microcalibrating is simply throwing the balancing part of the equation(IOI or IOD) when needed .

Sometimes, for example, you will get sets that will be attracted to you as soon as you open your mouth. Or before.
If a girl approaches you and says she likes your cowboy hat, and you respond with Jealous Girlfriend, you are going backwards in the interaction. By her opening  you, she is telling you she is already attracted to you. Therefore we can respond by saying “thanks, what’s your name?” which would be an IOI in return for hers. We can say then based on how readily she answers. If she’s hesitant or doesn’t immediately ask for my name or try to keep the conversation going (IODS). I will then respond with my own IOD ” buy me a drink before you hit on me”. Then immediately follow up with a compliance test ” and your special because?” when she  answers this I am now in A3 and can start giving her IOIs.

In this way I have now gotten through attraction in 30 seconds.

However if she refuses to answer or she IODs me when I ask her why she’s special, I still have an out…

Her: ” I’m not special ” or ” why are you special?”
Me: Never mind I was just being polite( IOD) oh you have a u shaped smile… ( DHV)

See how there are contingencies of what to based on what her reactions are?

For those of you who are routine stacking it would look something like this:

Her: ” I like your cowboy hat”
You: ” Thanks I actually need a female opinion, who lies more ”
Her: ” opinion”
You: FTC finish opener, stock neg, First routine, next routine ….. Until you get enough IOIs that you start qualifying and it takes.

By not pausing and looking at reactions you are assuming that what you are doing is working. Which it may not be.
By being able to read IOIs we can move into A3 Faster and ultimately into comfort faster and beyond.
Also by knowing that we are getting an IOD or an IOI we can calibrate any routine mid stream to either IOI or IOD.

Take for example the “may I touch your eyes” Line
Sinn: “You have beautiful eyes” IOI
Girl: while rolling her eyes and thinking another loser ” Thanks” IOD
Sinn: May I touch them? IOD

I change the routine based on the reaction she gives me.
However if the same interaction takes place but goes like this:

Sinn: You have beautiful eyes. IOI
Girl: “Thank you so much no one ever says that to me.” IOI

Now I have a sincere response so there is no need for me to throw the second part of the routine.
We want to be able to compliment girls and give them IOIs, however most girls will not yet be comfortable with that until later.
Microcalibrating is simply the act of watching responses and then tailoring the next action toward the response we just got a simplified version would state that we respond to IOIs with IOIs, IODs with IODs and we constantly test for compliance.

Through microcalibrating based on reactions while following the M3 model we can greatly increase our ability to get results. Microcalibrating also has a place in kino escalation.  If I make out with a girl on day 1 and then see her again the next day I will want to test to see where her willingness to kiss me again is, so I microcalibrate. I move in as I hug her and I pause. I now watch to see if she looks nervous or uncomfortable. If she doesn’t I go for it. If she looks uncomfortable then I push her off  and increase personal space so that the next time I get close she’s more comfortable and I can go for it. Same thing once we are holding hands I will slide my finger tips away from hers to see if she follows them. Is she does I will pull her closer to me, if she doesn’t I  throw her hand off.

A key to microcalibrating is remembering that IODs are not always negs. It would be weird if when a girl refused to qualify herself I told her she was a little shit. Instead they are simply ways of showing that we are not interested, they can be removal of kino, backturns, pauses in the conversation, eye rolls, as well as negs and  disqualifiers.

A few other keys to micro calibrating by watching the reactions you’re causing you can either soften or harden a routine

EX:
Sinn: You and I are never going to get along”(IOD)
Girl: why not I think we’d get along fine (IOI)
Sinn: we’re too similar IOI But I think our differences will be complimentary IOI
Sinn: You and I are never going to get along”(IOD)
Girl: You’re right we wouldn’t
Sinn: Yeah we would fight all the time, and I’d always win (IOD)

If a target at any time gives me an IOD i will respond in kind. This is the punishment part of our punishment reward sub routine,
however if we are already in comfort the punishment will no longer be negs, instead it will be take aways, and freeze outs. If at any time she gives me an IOI even if it’s as passive as holding my drink, I will reward her until she becomes uncomfortable and gives an IOD then we respond with another IOD, wait for an IOI and if it doesn’t come we compliance test to actively look for IOIs. We can also do this by balancing the amount of value we demonstrate onto a set.

Not every set needs to hear a million routines before they will be willing to talk to you. If have run more than 2 routines in a set and you are not attempting to move on to qualification (A3) you are hurting your game. You want to make sure that you are constanly testing to see where you are. And then trying to advance at the same time. Micro calibrating makes it easy by throwing little adjusters depending on the responses you are getting.  It’s not at all reactive to apologize when you over-neg. You will lose a lot more sets by continuing to neg once you’ve offended then by apologizing and qualifying her for standing up for herself.

Microcalibration is the art of adjusting what you’re saying in real time to the reactions you are getting.

Now let’s put this all together.  What does Microcalibration look like and how do we do it?  Well I found this great video on youtube that explains it pretty damn well from Mystery and the Venusian Arts crew back in the day.

Questions, comments, concerns?
~RL

By the way, I gotta give credit where credit is due.

If you want to learn more about all this shit from the sources I provided here check out:

The Mind of Mystery Course

And

The Sinns of Attraction

Oh and for all you Infield Junkies I will be posting the video and my responses to the guy in the Midlair over the next few days so stay tuned.  You can subscribe by email or twitter or whatever over to the right.

Questions, comments, concerns?

~RL

SIDECAR:

If you know microcalibration, you MAY want to know what bodyrocking is and how to do it.  Again, I dug up another video from Mystery and the crew on that as well.  The best I know, naturals, puas, lesbians, myself, all incorporate a lot of bodyrocking into our game.  It makes you more hypnotic and attractive and sends mixed signals on a subconscious level to those girls you are interacting with, which in the early stages of the interaction can be an invaluable tool to gaining attraction.  Also this video talks a lot about delivery.  If you can incorporate all these things in this post into your game you will see a HUGE improvement, I promise.

Enjoy:

Self Loathing Pickup Artists, Coaches and Mark Manson

I have some great articles I wrote coming up on my blog, as well as some audios of me doing talks in Chicago, (possibly videos but I haven’t decided yet) but I had to kind of fit this in here. I really don’t want to make my blog a place where I “call out” bad coaches or whatever but I come across some of these guys and just shake my head, realizing that guy are paying them GOOD MONEY to learn BAD HABITS and BAD INFORMATION and in this case it appears from someone who doesn’t even enjoy what he does and doesn’t have the skills (self admittedly) to teach his own students.  In this case I’m talking about a guy calling himself Mark Manson who is the author of the blog markmanson.net which was formerly known as Postmasculine.com.

I don’t really know who this guy is apart from the fact that there were a couple guys on a private forum I belong to who said they read his blog and said it was great stuff.  However, both of these guys who read his stuff have a sort of attitude that can be summarized as, “Who needs this pickup shit?  You don’t need to study bullshit routines or material.  All that pickup stuff is bullshit!  Just be a man and grab your balls.”

The inherent problem with this is that these are also guys who are not having the success they want from this game, however they have created a mental block for themselves, unknowingly, that is not allowing them to use all the avenues available to bring their game to a kickass level.  Why?

Well, I won’t spell it out for you too much but my belief is that there have been an influx of guys coming onto the scene these days teaching dating / seduction / pick up arts who are trying to make themselves and others think, they are on some higher level of game and that all that old, “Pick up bullshit” is so beneath them.  The problem is they create a dichotomy in people wanting to learn this stuff and improve their lives that:
A:  I want to learn pickup and seduction.

B:  Wanting to learn pickup and seduction is creepy, for losers etc.

So they basically cut these poor guys off at the knees.

I think my comment to him will explain what I mean pretty well so, to avoid the risk of repeating myself, I’ll just get right to the comment I left on his “Moderated” blog comments section, which I tend to doubt will even see the light of day.  PS – As I said before, I tend to Red Flag anyone who moderates their blog.  If you’re not confident enough in your beliefs on your blog where you can post them and handle the feedback people give, you probably shouldn’t be posting those beliefs.

Anyway, here’s a link to his article:

postmasculine.com/pickup-artist

The comments that really got under my skin were the following:

Quote from:  Mark Manson

“Here’s a dirty truth about being a PUA coach: many guys who take coaching don’t actually want to change. They want to be validated. They want to feel cool and be around someone who they think is cool. They want to unload the responsibility for changing themselves onto someone else.Rather than hiring a coach to help them progress, to them it’s more of a “rent-a-cool-friend” service.

…A lot of these guys don’t need a pick up instructor. They need a shrink and maybe some sort of anti-anxiety therapy. They need some confidence and a push to put themselves out there more and more. The technical aspect of picking up women really ISN’T that difficult. It really can be explained and taught within a few days. But it must be practiced for a long time, and to have that practice, a guy has to have healthy mindsets and an ability to overcome his fears.”

And my reply to him (we’ll see if he actually posts it):

Ummmm. I see stuff like this from “coaches” and it makes me sad that so many of them shouldn’t be coaching.

PART OF THE TERRITORY is that it’s my job as a dating coach to not only make my students who are in this boat aware of this fact, but to hammer that bullshit attitude out of them and rebuild them up sending them in a positive direction. That’s why they pay you, man. They are paying you to help them change for the better. Maybe they don’t even know these things are their problem, but for every single guy that has come to me wanting me to do all the heavy lifting and placing the responsibility of them magically changing upon my shoulders I Call them on it, and immediately kick that shit up into a higher standard and make them work.

If they have social anxiety, then they paid me, I help them overcome it. If they are fucked up a little in the head – that’s easy, I was once fucked up in the head too, and since I took responsibility and improved myself, I can use some of those same tools to help my students.

Here’s what’s funny. The same thing you are accusing your students of is the exact same thing you are doing. They are placing the responsibility for change on your shoulders, and then you are turning around and placing that responsibility on psychology articles, saying they need to seek a psychiatrist, or just playing it off as “they don’t want to change”.

In other words YOU “want to unload the responsibility for changing YOUR STUDENTS onto someone else.” Why are you charging them if you can’t handle them? Maybe instead of blaming them, you should step away from coaching and get your shit straight before you try coaching others.

Teaching a guy to get laid is the easy part. Teaching them to have a skillset, and have a kickass attitude and mindset is the real challenge. You said it yourself. You don’t even like to coach. You don’t or didn’t even like yourself and you have some misconstrued idea that because you let the life get the best of you, that means everyone else is in the same boat. You thrived off the validation and always felt the need to impress your students, were always worried what they thought about you. Speaking of boats – another one is the “I’m so much cooler than the PUA community” boat a lot of guys seem to be jumping on board. So many guys play this game of learning their skillset from the community and then they want to portray themselves as “I’m not one of those creepy pickup guys”. You’re part of the problem. You’re letting social programming run away with you. You think this is you being above the PUA thing but this is just your inner fear of society viewing you as “one of those pickup nerds”. That shit rubs off on other guys. Now you got guys out there wanting to improve but feeling this weird dynamic that they are somehow “creepy or weird” for wanting to learn it. Guys like you are perpetuating the same shit that we are ALL supposed to be fighting against. Anyway, back on topic…

Has it ever occurred to you that if you had your shit straight to begin with you wouldn’t need to seek the validation of your students, or wouldn’t worry about trying to approach every girl you see to prove something to them? You wouldn’t get so caught up in that downward spiral you talked about. As a matter of fact, if you truly enjoyed what you did, really were passionate about being social, going out, meeting people, meeting women – if this was NORMAL for you, no amount of getting paid or not getting paid would ruin that for you.

Tell that nonsense to a successful club promoter. He/she will laugh at you in the face. Tell that to a bartender who spends 40 hours a week slinging drinks only to go out to another bar with his buddies right after leaving one to go get social.

I’m not trying to be harsh here on purpose or whatever, but this is the kind of shit that a lot of guys do in this community that rubs me the wrong way. They do shit wrong and then it’s the community’s fault. Or in your case you shouldn’t have (maybe shouldn’t be) coaching and it fucks up your life, your students are not getting results, and you place the blame on external shit, instead of taking a look at yourself. You are, in effect, being no better than your students who “want to unload the responsibility for changing themselves onto someone else.”

Personally I LOVE the fact that my job mixes work and play, and that I can go out and be social. That’s why I do it. But the thing is, I can be real with myself. I don’t have to prove myself to anyone. If they come in the door, I interview them before they give me 1 dime and if I think they aren’t ready I send them off telling them exactly what they need to do before I will coach them. I also make it clear before they give me any money that they will be expected to do the heavy lifting. When we go out I will be myself. I will even go get blown out right along side my students. They respect me for being straight with them. I have nothing to prove because I know my game is pretty strong both INNER and OUTER. Looks like you are missing the INNER but your OUTER (you say) is pretty solid.

Anyway, these problems we get from students – we LEARN from them. We USE these “problem” students as ways to learn to teach future students with similar “problems”. That’s the point. You learn to coach just like you learn to pick up women. You improve so your students can improve. But you have to take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY to do that.