Pickup Artists are Creepy Wanna Be Rapists Who Hate Women – The Double Standard

Pickup Artists are widely considered people who use tactics and techniques to try and “manipulate” members of the opposite sex into bed.  Predatory, manipulative, rape culture, creepy…

Where else have we seen that before?

Popular Women’s Magazines perhaps?

Let’s completely overlook the ways women can look their sexiest, to attract men.  Forget all the fashion techniques, makeup, hair, pushup bras, bling etc.  Just ask a girl, they do all that for THEMSELVES..  Yeah, right…

But let’s look at some of these Mainstream Articles in these Popular women’s magazines.

Article Titles like:

Get Men to do your bidding without being a Nag

Get in his head and in his bed!

Christina Hendricks:  How she chased her man and got him!

How to disappear without a trace.

The Sex position that will Put a Ring on your Finger.

Football and poker will improve your relationship.  Find out how!

And a whole host of ways to manipulate men through sex.

It took me literally 3 minutes to pull of 3 random women’s magazine covers without even skimming for what the content of the covers would be.  Let me guess…  Women don’t read these magazines.  That’s how these magazines stay in business, and have stayed in business for so long.  That’s why advertisers spend a fortune advertising their products in these magazines. It’s because women don’t buy or read them…  😉

Am I complaining?  Am I saying there’s something wrong with all of this?  NOPE!  As a matter of fact, I am very far from the hypocritical crowd out there spouting out how men learning tactics and techniques or even just improving their lives inside and out is somehow creepy, misogynistic, women hating, rape culture.  If that were the case than women have been rapey, men hating, creepsters since before I was born.

No.  Men and women trying to become more attractive to the opposite sex is AWESOME!  It is NORMAL.  Why not?  But this double standard garbage has to stop.  Women and Men are playing the same game, and the fact is, the WOMEN have been making the rules for a long time.  In essence it is a woman’s game.  It is a beautiful game to play.  It’s just too bad some angry, jaded people, both men and women, are trying to project their own ignorance, and corrupted thinking on it.

Flirting is a dance.  It is very much so, in my opinion, an elegant, beautiful dance.  So if men and women want to learn some moves to become better dancers, Fantastic!!  But this double standard that what is great for women to do is evil for men to do just needs to be put to rest.

Sidecar:

OHH!!  Looks like I made a booboo, to the excitement and delight of one particular mangina and his blog of estrogen filled man-hating feminist followers.

A couple of the covers above, are from a parody article.  I guess just taking the first 3 covers at random and posting them in 3 minutes has it’s setbacks.  Silly me.

However, since responding beyond my only comment I left on his blog,

“If you came out of your mom’s basement, and unplugged from your attempt to win the favor of women by self-loathing you could go to any supermarket and look at any cover of any of these magazines and see how ridiculously wrong you are.

Cheers! :)”

…which is still awaiting moderation, I don’t think that this warrants the attention of another blog post.

But what I will do is take another 5 minutes of my life to give another blogger more to obsess over me about by taking hours of his day to look into every little detail of what I am about to post.  Funny how a creepy, stalkerish guy is so quick to recognize (project) his traits in others while spending hours trying to dissect my article.  Projection much?

Oh, and click this for the mangina post.

On a similar note.  Check out this article about other websites similar to the Mangina site above:

I am the Patriarchy – Mangina Sites

One last word.  Of COURSE the mangina’s article completely misses the point of this one.

Again, I think it is FABULOUS that men and women are trying to become more attractive to one another.  Men and women are not separate like the mangina site would have you believe.

In life there are a couple different schools of thought, if you will.

There are people who are separate.  Apart.

I’m old, you’re young.

I’m straight, you’re gay.

I’m Atheist, you’re religious.

He’s black, I’m white.

She’s a woman, I’m a man.

And on and on and on.

Separate – Apart.  That’s what mangina and his poor collection of readers live their lives like every day.

Then there are other people who like to think we are all in this together.  In the Taoist philosophy we all compliment one another.  Yin and Yang.  Darkness brings light.  High allows there to be low.  Valley and Mountain compliment each other as do the Seasons.

Men and women make wonderful dance partners so to speak.  We are all on THE SAME TEAM.  The human race.  There is no jaded battle between men and women other than from those who have completely lost their way.

Flirting, sexuality, seduction.  It’s a dance.  A beautiful, wonderful dance that life has gifted us the opportunity to participate in.  There is no Me vs You.  There is not US and THEM.  We are all in this together.

The Job Interview at a Starbucks

Another Classic for my Archive of real life Seduction – I was inspired to bring this one back up in honor of The Daily Post at WordPress.com’s Cliffhanger Challenge.  I’m assuming this is a lot different than what most of the people have written about, and probably Taboo enough of a subject to not make it to WordPress’ top of Friday’s list (which I’m late for anyway) or their monthly newsletter, but who knows.  I like to write and some of my old stuff is just too good to let go unnoticed  (just as me I’ll tell you!); especially if you are interested in how Seduction and Pickup arts, or even Speed Seduction works. 😉 You can check out their post challenge by clicking right HERE…   But this post is LONG and informative so I will get to the point instead of rambling on.  I will just say 1 thing.  Whether or not you like this post – comment down bottom and remember to subscribe.

Enjoi.

FR – The Job Interview at a Starbucks
Postby Geese Howard (my old alias) » December 24th, 2008, 2:16 pm

So here’s the deal.  Today I had to go meet a guy about a possibility to work as a bartender at a New Years Eve party.  He picked the Starbucks coffee shop on Mack and Woodward in Downtown Detroit as the meeting spot.  I decided to head out like three hours early so I could meet my mom who wanted to give me something and get her Avon stuff from me since she has volunteered me without my say-so to be the middleman for her Avon lady that lives near me.  Not only that but I decided I could bring my laptop and play BarSim which is a training game for learning new drink recipes.

So there I walk in to the Starbucks and I see a nice comfy couch type chair empty, but I look to see if there’s a outlet near because my laptop is juiced-out.  So I see one but it’s full up from other laptop people and so for like 3 or so minutes I’m standing there looking around just to be sure, kinda looking like a retard.  I spot a table with two chairs and an empty outlet underneath it right across from the chair I want but still I stand there retarded hoping that by some miracle I spot the magic outlet I didn’t see in the first place.

Nothing.

So Finally I relent and decide to sit at the table with wooden chairs with the open outlet, and as I’m setting up The chick at the table in front who I thought was pretty cute when I walked in, starts crane-necking over her shoulder at me, because the outlet happens to be right behind where she’s sitting and I’m busy plugging it in.  I notice it and Kino her shoulder as I say, “Don’t worry, I’m just plugging in my laptop.  I’m not trying to steal from you.”   Cool   “I am eyeballing that magazine you’re reading.  Actually, I might want to steal it.” and she looks and realizes my vibe is cool so she smiles and starts flirting back.

Leave it to the French. http://www.huffingtonpost.fr

SO like, all I know is that she’s getting ready to leave and I just start running my mouth saying whatever – it’s funny because I always Think to myself I don’t have any idea what to say to a chick, but when I’m under the gun my mouth moves and stuff comes out.  The deal is I don’t commit to memory Too Many routines so I will just work on the fly and not have any idea what stage of the interaction I’m in.  Not that that’s good or bad.  I probably would do well to kind of work on a plan but whatever.

Now all I know is we started talking about something and during our conversation she had gotten up and started packing up while I had unpacked and sat down.  For whatever reason I think she asked me something and I said, “I will tell you.  Have a seat.” and she looked surprised but sat down.  As soon as she did I threw out, “But you can’t stay long cuz I got a lot of work to do.” And I kinda said it in my Mock-pimp voice with a smile probably.

So it’s daygame, which IMO is my bread and butter.  Club game is not my strongpoint and yet for whatever reason I feel natural in pretty much any day game environment, on the street or wherever I may find myself.  So this girl is sitting and we just do natural type Vibing where we’re talking about the shit I think the community used to say was a sin to talk about like what she does and what I do and all that shit, but it’s the way I present it that IMO makes it ok.  There’s a lot of fun convo involved.   Other than the Vibing I will actually list the things I consider routines I used.

Oh wait (rewind)… No, I remember now, I had told her she looked like a teacher when she was standing up and she said she used to teach Biology.  And I was like, “That’s so Boring!  So you like to dissect stuff like frogs or whatever.  I have a story about Biology class from when I was in high school.  You wanna hear it?”

Her:  Yea tell me your story!  (said with blatant  mock enthusiasm)
Me:  (I might have busted on her for it, I dunno but then I said) Here have a seat and I’ll tell you.

So she sat down and THAT’s what I talked about but before I went on some tangent (which as you will begin to notice I am apt to do) and every time she reminded me I was off track I busted on her and reminded her that she was a scientist and I was artistic so her linear thinking and my all over the place thinking were completely different.  Which brings me to my Tangents which happen to be the routines I said I was gonna describe above so here they are:

1.  I asked her nationality.  She said she was three different ones, German, something and something else (that’s how much I pay attention – I’m literally Terrible with names too.  But that’s simple.  If a girl has already told me her name and I forgot, when I put in in my phone I say, “How do you spell your name?” and then throw in a little humor about the spelling if it’s too normal or even if it’s not – like c&f style.)  So I use a little routine about growing up in Germany when I was little and say, “Ich Deutchsprechen nicht so gut.” which means something along the lines of , “I don’t speak good German.”  I didn’t go into the whole routine that I use because I asked her about whether she taught high school or college and immediately blasted into how I took French class and she said she knew French too; so I said, “Je parle un peu de Francais.”  I then volunteered that I knew a poem and she wanted to know it.  Off I went into the poem I memorized right from the Player’s Guide by Jacques Prevert that starts with, “Une orange sur la table…”  I love this poem btw, every set where the girl knows French will hear this and I always get a good response.  Halfway through I get the appropriate response of a tiny bit of shock and then when I finish they’re pretty impressed my the romantic finish.

2.  Somehow I seem to find a place for the following routine in about every set I do these days.  It’s my own.  Usually it has to do with me looking good for my age since I’m 35 but most days people seem to think I’m younger (when I’m duded up that is.  If not I look old like every other chode out there my age.)

I’m gonna live to be One-Hundred and Twenty.  One day I’m gonna be like this old guy (sometimes I will say, “…old Chinese guy, even though I’m not Chinese now I will somehow magically be when I’m that old…) with a long white beard (doing the hand motion to show her that I mean like really long – picture like the old kung-fu master from ANY Kung-Fu movie – but not the drunk guy or the beggar, mostly the old guys who are either Buddhist Monks aka “Venerable Abbot“ or some Bastard General of the Ching or, Oh, I got it; think Pai-Mei from either “Fist of the White Lotus” or more currently “Kill Bill”) and I will live like way up in the mountains of Tibet.  I’ll mostly sit around and drink green tea and meditate and there will be incense and candles and Ill have servants.  People will come thousands of miles up treacherous mountain trails with avalanches and all sorts of danger just to see me so they can ask me the meaning of life.  They will say, “Master, what is the meaning of life?” and I will look at them with wisdom (look at her with a wise-serious face) and say… (pause)

“What do you think the meaning of life is?”

And they will be like, “Amazing!  I have never thought of it that way before!”

So if the chick is a sassy pants and says something like, “Well what if they don’t ask you that.  What if they ask you something else like about love or their job or whatever?”

ME:  Then I will look at them and say, “The answer to that question (pause) lies truly within your heart.  You simply must learn to listen to what is says.”
(or you can just add this for fun if she’s into it by saying, “and some may even ask me other questions about their Job or Love-life and…..”  you get the idea)

End Thread.

It’s just a goofy attraction gambit I suppose.

So after my tangents and her couple of attempts to unsuccessfully get me back on track even though she was totally enjoying herself I said, “Ok now I will tell you…  Wait.  What were we talking about?” I had seriously forgotten.

She was like, “I Don’t know (mock frustration)! You were going to tell me about your biology class in high school.

So I started to tell her about how we dissected animals in biology class in high school and asked if she dissected stuff in college classes, she said yes and then complained about how she wishes the Colleges would get their Fish from a market where they were fresh instead of the old and smelly animals they usually got.  I said, “You mean like, ‘Today we are going to dissect Sushi grade salmon.’ ?”

She laughed and I started making fun of her more saying, “Maybe you should get some Sake while your at it.  No I mean all colleges should have Sake in the classroom.” and after a minute we got to my story which was;

“One day we were in Biology class and we were dissecting little baby sharks.  I was kind of a bad kid in school, and not like the bad kid who was always at counseling but I mean like a bored kid so I would make things more fun.  So What happened was I snuck one of the baby sharks out of class and when I rode the bus home later I thought it would be funny to stick the shark under the radiator.  Needless to say they thought me or my friends did it but they never knew for sure.”

Those are the only things of note I remember from the conversation.  I naturally incorporate push pull and that kinda shit during my conversations so I always just assume I used them, when I TRY to use them it just comes of Dicky because I already have a natural tendency to do it so what happens is chicks pretty much HATE me.  Chicks use to think I was mean when I was younger because I used the Push-Push technique.  I only learned half the lesson apparently.

So I found out that she was only in town till Jan 6th so I said, “You seem cool.  I gotta get back to work but we should maybe get together.”  Then we talked a little more and I tangented off the subject on purpose.  Then noticed she was still lingering after she had stood up and I kinda let her on purpose to gauge her interest and finally SHE said the Ross Jeffries line, “So how do you want to go about this?”

ME:  “I’m not really into that whole number thing (Sensei) but I’ll tell you what.  Tonight obviously sucks and there’s the holidays but how about…”

Her:  “Friday…”

ME:  ‘Yea…  I mean It’s a super busy week for me but I could meet up Friday.”

And we went from there to set up the day2.  I got her number as a technicality and then we chatted some more and that was that.  IMO If she’s there its for Sex because her and I both know that She’s only in town for a short time.    Cheesy  Of course when she asked, “Is this you, ###?”  I said yea, just put in there Hot Stud Guy (Sensei).

Meanwhile I just now got a call from HBThaiRestaurant who I’m pretty sure has a boyfriend but went on a day2 with me before the holidays which I did heavy makeouts with but no !close…  Yet.  Fucking GREAT kisser.  Before kissing her was totally not attracted to Asian chicks but now it’s like I’m all about it.  Sexy.  Can’t wait to have my head buried between her legs among other things.

So then not too much later and I was playing BarSim and simultaneously these guys in the coffee shop are all trying to get me Bartending jobs for some reason.  I simply told them I was meeting a guy who wanted me for a Private Party for New years and that I used to work at Asian Village until it closed and that the last 2 places I worked at sucked so I quit and so this one guy is calling his buddy who manages a Bar Louie and another cat is taking my number so he can give it to the place his buddy is at that he happens to be on his way to.

After a bit everyone leaves but me cuz I got a bit to go and so I notice a really well dressed black girl go by and her ass was just like, “HEY, Geese.  Look at me!!  I’m a Nice Big Ass!”  (I like all sorts of things about girls – a HUGE list)  I didn’t open her or didn’t even think about it at first.  What happened was this:  My back has been hurting lately (seems like once every six months)  which means it’s time for a Massage – as a matter of fact I had been on the phone earlier calling to find a Massage therapist but I’ll get into that later.  At this point I was studying and my back was starting to bug me so I stood up and took my right arm and held the shelf next to me on my right and was basically stretching my back by turning.  As I was doing it the cute black girl was walking by and I said, “Hey.  Grab my other arm and push.” and sure enough she did.  And she kept doing it till I stopped her which was, I dunno what you call it, that one word that means she’s doing what I want her to.  So I sit and keep talking to her about shit, “Wow you’re strong.  Are you a wrestler?”

Her:  No.
Me:  Are you a Boxer?
Her:  No. (smiling)
Me:  Are you a UFC Fighter?
Her:  No I’m just naturally strong.

And then I noticed she was lingering.  To test it I kinda hinted that she was on her way to do something but that she seemed fun to talk to.  It was like a choice to give her and she still lingered so I kept plowing (that’s my Method:  The Geese Howard Double-Reppukin Plow Method™ ®)  This set went well too so I said, “You seem cool (the Cage – I think it’s referred to) so we should maybe talk some more sometime after the holidays.

Here’s the thing.  I know it’s just getting a number but in this case it’s like she knows what I’m after.  She probably even suspects it’s her ass.  My X said that I put off ‘the Wolf” even when I’m not trying to.  It’s just natural and I think that it’s a good filter, but was TERRIBLE when I was Mr AFC First Class because I would just walk around with Wolf Vibe and No game to back it up.

So HBFacePlant (think about it) shit-tested me.  “Wait.  How old are you?”

ME: What do you mean?  How old are you?
Her:  20
Me:  Oh.  You’re as old as the last girl I dated.  Well…  I mean she was a couple girls ago but still.
Her:  Why, How old are you?
Me:  17.  I just look a lot older.

Then we talked for a bit and I threw in a couple pauses and yet she stuck around.  I was sitting down and she was still standing there so I commented on it.
Me:  Well you’re still here for some reason.  So It seems like you’re thinking about it.
Her:  I just wanna know how old you are?
Me:  You don’t ask people how old they are!
Her:  What?  Why?
Me:  It’s bad business.  Besides.  No one can tell how old I am.  People give me everything from early 20s to 40.  Why do you like older men?
Her:  Yea but not TOO much older.
Me:  Is that what you think or is that what society and what others expect from you tells you to do? (PS I Love NLP)
Her:  Ooooh!  (she liked it)  Now you’re gonna throw that at me…
Me:  You’re not dealing with some (can’t remember the words I used but something similar to Scrap-Noob, but  in regular people jargon though)

So long story short We exchanged numbers but I didn’t time bridge.  I guess I’ll see where it goes.
So I’m back to my Mixing drinks.  For some reason I can remember how to make a Sangria from scratch and about every classic Martini, Manhattan Rob Roy and shit like a Pink Lady and Grasshopper but I couldn’t remember easy shit.  I put club soda in a Surfer on Acid instead of Pineapple and kept fucking up the Bay Breeze and Sea Breeze and for some reason I kept putting Whiskey in an Irish Coffee instead of Irish Whiskey.  Then I started reading a book and in the book it was talking something about Survival and Replication and some guy who was married then divorced and didn’t feel cool or comfortable because he saw people hugging each other and wanted revenge…  Or something like that.  And then I went to the bathroom, and when I came back out with the key to take back to the counter I saw…

Another Ass!

But this time it was a bit smaller and more shapely and yet attached to a blond girl who’s face I did not see.  However, where I got the key just so happened to be right where she was standing and so I went to put the key back and though she really was not in the way I still managed to kino her arm lightly as I said, “Excuse me, love.”  and put the key down.  Then I returned to my seat.

I really did just want to keep studying and not be bothered with sets.  I promised myself that I would focus on my studies only and not worry about women. I started to reload the Barsim and all the while my brain said, “Did you see that Ass on her?  Her face was cute too.”

And before I knew it I was back up and on my feet and peeking around at the girl suspiciously while she was wondering to herself (probably?) Why is this guy all of a sudden behind me sticking his face in my face and looking at me suspiciously?

Me:  Amy?  Is your name Amy?
Her:  No.  (But she was smiling.)
Me:  Oh.  Where are you from?
Her:  I live right around here.
Me:  Oh ok.  Nevermind.  (then I was leaving – I pretended – I suppose body rocking)
Then
Me:  Wait…  (I smiled a smarmy smile) Were you at a party last Saturday in Ferndale?
Her:  No…  (more smiling – I mean she had to know what I was up to right?)
Me:  OhhhK.  I thought we might have made out at a party.
Her:  You thought?
Me:  Well I was pretty drunk.
Her:  Nooo.  Wasn’t me..  (still smiling)
Me:  Well you would remember if we did because you would be all like, “That was the most AMAZING thing ever!!”

And she laughed.

We chatted for about thirty more seconds in a flirty vibe kinda way and then the line moved.  She stepped up to the end and said, “Well the line is moving this way if you wanna step with me.”

Me;  No.  I’m gonna go sit back down if you wanna chat on your way out.

On purpose.  It’s that whole thing about, why can’t I think of the stupid name of it?  Um  Survival… Replication… AMOG…  Transition…  Duplicity…  Consistency…  Value…  Attention… Attraction…  COMPLIANCE..

That’s the one.  Compliance.

And so back to work I go figuring if she was interested she would do the compliance thing so she could survive on my replicator some day.

And so I figured it would look dumb for a guy to be studying bartending drinks when he’s supposed to already be a great bartender and the truth is I’m rusty but when a guy is throwing a New years party with 600-1000 people coming the last thing he wants to hear is, “I’m rusty.” so I went back to reading about having a girl on both arms would cause other girls to come up to me in a club and say dumb things like “Hi, what’s your name?” or “I don’t like that necklace you’re wearing” or “Excuse me, do you know any cool places to go around here?”  and that if I played my cards right I could have sex with her TONIGHT!!

“Blah, blah, blah…” I hear a female voice talking and I’m not paying attention so I have no idea what’s being said but I look up from my comfy chair and there’s the blond with the nice ass who has stopped by and is talking to me.  To be honest I have no idea how that interaction went specifically because there was a vibe.   That’s all pretty much.  One thing I do remember is her telling me about shit she was going to do or something and I stopped her and said, “Wait.  Are you asking me out on a Date?  I mean I know I’m really attractive and everything but that’s pretty forward for a girl.  I mean unless you were a drunk girl.  I notice that girls always expect guys to do most of the work, but then when you get drunk you’re like, ‘Fuck it!’ and you just get all forward.

I quick closed her but in a social circle way.  I said there’s usually cool stuff me and my friends are doing and that couple of them are promoters and that I could invite her out.  (“Hot Stud Guy” once again – I wasn‘t too sure about the PU101 cats or Lance Mason aka Sensei but I listened to some audio thingies they did and there was some quality shit in it – Value!!  I still think of K-Mart whenever I hear that word:  Value.)

I think her and I both know what’s up but it’s the way I decided to play it.  I used to have crappy phone game but now every time I get on the phone with some chick they are like, “You have a great personality!” or “You give great phone!”  and the funny thing is I have NO idea when it happened.  It just did.

And that brings us to me wanting to drive through a Mother of a Snowstorm to go find some Thai food. I was almost there and my phone rang.  I answered it and this sexy-female voice said Hi, is this Ron?  I was like, “Yea who’s this?”

Her:  This is HBSensualMassage
Me:  Oh yea.  I talked to your friend this morning…

Here’s the deal.  In the morning my back was killing me and I needed a motherfucking massage.  I recently saw an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Jeff sets up Larry with and appointment for a massage with a chick whom Jeff says is “Really Good!”  Larry goes and get’s the massage and the chick asks him if her would like her to finish him off.  He’s retarded, #1 and #2 he’s dazed out from the massage and #3 he’s like AFC style Married and yet he says “Yes” not knowing what that means.  She starts giving him a hand job and he’s into it for a split second but then reality hit him and he freaks out.  For the rest of the episode he’s all worried he cheated on his wife and that she’ll find out.

So I decided that if I’m going to pay for a massage it would be pretty cool to get one with a happy ending just to see WTF.  I’ve never paid for sex in my life but this technically would be a massage.  I figured if the price was the same as a normal massage I totally would.

Her:  My Friend?
Me:  Yea on the phone…  Oh wait I called a few different places so maybe you’re someone else.  So I guess I was looking for a massage and someone told me that the people running Ads in Real Detroit were like massages but then I would get the happy ending.  I mean, What’s the deal?

She explained it to me and got all naughty right away but I mean – come-on, I knew she was figuring I’m like the average Scrap-Noob that calls in and has to pay for female attention.  She’s like,  “I give you a full body massage and you can play with my boobie and I’m super attractive and BLAH BLAH BLAH and I cut her off.  Look, I have girls I can do that with, but the main thing I want is to know if you can give a good massage.  My back is killing me.  How much do you charge for all that?

Her:  $200
Me:  $200!?  You better have like Golden hands or something!  You’re shit better be AMAZING.
Her:  Ya I am.  Blah Blah Blah – Sales Pitch Bullshit
Me:  Look!  Here’s the deal.  You ever watch Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Her:  What?
Me :  (repeat)
Her:  No?…
Me:  You ever hear of it?
Her:  No…
Me:  Do you have cable television?
Her:  Yea!
Me:  Ok where there’s this station on Cable but you might not have heard of it because it’s kind of a small station.  You ever heard of HBO?

So I go on to explain about the episode and it confused her because she was like, “Well I don’t have to do anything you don’t want me to do!”

I told her I didn’t care what she did but more important was if she could give me a good massage.  I told her again I had girls who could do the other stuff so I wasn’t too worried.

She said, “Well why don’t you have them give you a massage?”

I’m said, “Look!  I need a Pro!  These girls, the best I can get them to do is walk on my back because they don’t know what they’re doing.  That works for a little while but I need a pro that knows what they’re doing!

So I can’t remember exactly what I said then but all I know is we went off topic and it was a lot of me being CockyFunny or whatever and her starting to get more chatty.  We kinda stayed on the topic but it was more, I dunno – Vibey.

She started like saying, “I can drop the price to maybe $150 because you seem really cool and trust me, I make about $1500 a week and I just got two calls while I was talking to you.”

Me:  OOOOH!!!  (mocking her)  I mean it sounds really fun and everything but Jesus!  $200 is pretty fucking steep.  I can get a regular massage for like $60.

Her:  Yes you can.  (IOD)
Me:  Good Answer.

She laughed and I said, “Ok well here’s the deal.  I totally need a massage so MAYBE I’ll give you a call after the holidays and we’ll see what’s up.”

Her: OK well I can drop the price to $100 for you.
Me:  Yea I know but I still have to wait till after the holidays so I’ll see what’s up then.  I’ll call you.
Her:  So I’ll hear from you after Christmas?
Me:  After newyears MAYBE.
Her:  Ok…  (It sounded pouty)
Me:  You sound sad.
Her:  I AM.  You sound really Cute and Now you’re gonna go and I wont hear from you again.
Me:  (LOL) That’s funny.  OK  I’ll ALMOST-Promise to call you after the new-year.  Do you want me to give you an Almost Promise?
Her:  Yes
Me:  Ok.  I Almost-Promise to call you after Newyears.

Then she started rambling about how she thought I seemed really cool and cute and this went on for a couple minutes and then I said, “I’ll tell you what.  Do you go out?”

Her:  Yea.
Me:  Like you ever been to MonJinLau or D’Amato’s
Her:  I like to go out.
Me:  Well I’ll tell you what.  Maybe I’ll call you and you can come chill with me and a few friends.
Her:  I’d LOVE to come have a drink with you.
Me:  Well I mean you can just come out and Chill, like a friends type thing.
Her:  Yea,  I can come out and have a couple drinks with you!
Me:  You make it sound like a Date!  We’re not going on a Date.

She laughed and then I got another call from a girl who I’m considering having sex with even though she’s a bigger girl and I’m not attracted to bigger girls but this one is FUCKING CUTE.  I mean she has such a pretty face it’s Weird and her personality is super cool and she has Huge Boobs but again.  She’s a bigger girl.  I’m not into that shit.  Who knows.

So I said I had to take the call and she was like, “Wait!  What’s your name?  and I told her.”

I sent out a text tonight to the four girls I met today that said, “Kickass meeting you today.  Have a fun holiday”  She was the Second one to respond behind the black girl.

I am well aware she could be trying to game me as I game her, not to mention that I have not even seen her yet.  But that’s part of the fun.  Who hunts the hunter?

I’ll update this accordingly as events unfold.  Obviously it’s time to see how the transitioning from #close to !close will turn out.

Then a few days later…

Postby Geese Howard » December 28th, 2008, 4:34 pm

It’s 7:17 and I had a gnawing feeling that this chick, We’ll call her HBUruguay because she lives there and is visiting some mystery people for the holidays, was gonna flake.  Everytime though I would force-visualise her showing up to train my brain to expect in instead of focusing on the negative.  Here it was almost 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet and she still hadn’t arrived.  No call no text…  Nothing.  Yet here I was still waiting for her to arrive…

Overcompensating – The DREAD of the Intermediate Seducer

I came across a video earlier today when bouncing around on my twitter account.  I watched the video and the old familiar dread started to hit me.  Guys, EVEN guys coaching this stuff, still have one HUGE sticking point. That is overcompensation.  Whether it be “Overcompensating Alpha” or “Overcompensating Abundance Mindset” or whatever.  Overcompensating is a HUGE thing that fucks up so many people in the Seduction Community.  In pretty much every case it is never the real deal.  It is covering up for the thing they lack. 

In the case of a guy who is overcompensating alpha behaviors, it’s usually to try and make up for his fear that he is not alpha enough, and that is usually after he studies something, somewhere about how the alpha male is the one getting all the tail. (Hey I like that.  It rhymes. – The alpha male gets all the tail.)  So now this guy who a week ago who was timid and shy is now trying to be alpha but is clumsy with it so he either just comes across as annoying or he goes out of his way every chance he gets to prove his “alpha” behavior traits.  So now when a girl he texts to go out, doesn’t show up to the date, he says, “FUCK THAT BITCH!  I’ll show her not to waste my time!  I am an ALPHA MALE!  I’ll make sure she knows it and I won’t give her an opportunity to go out with me EVER AGAIN!”  Meanwhile the poor guy just completely missed the point of being alpha.  Because where he thinks in his mind he is being this big alpha male, he is ACTUALLY making a bigger deal out of her not showing up than it really was.  Where if he was calm, cool, and nonreactive he could have texted her or called her later and had the possibility of even using her flake as a way to escalate the interaction toward sex.

That’s just one example.  The list, unfortunately goes on and on.  “Not buying girls drinks,” becomes, “Don’t take girls on dates,” becomes as one guy put it recently on a private forum I belong to (and unfortunately in that case also he was coaching other guys), “Relationships are boring,” then later, “I don’t do that whole date thing.”  In other words, you can see where I’m going with this.  When guys let TRAINING rules become guidelines to define their lives, and they overcompensate for their lack of something in their personality, they create a mess.  If a guy wont take his own girlfriend on a date because he let a rule about – not buying bottle-rats in a nightclub a drink or taking a girl out to a $150 dinner so she can politely kiss him on the cheek and then go home and call “Jobless-Backwards-Hat-Guy” to come over and rail her – take over his life, but then complains that girlfriends are boring…  I mean, come on man.  It’s your job as a man to LEAD.  If shit is boring in your relationship, then take her out.  If a fear of getting taken advantage of has infested your mind to the point that you overcompensate “Alpha” by avoiding going and having adventure-time with your girl – well, not very alpha is it?  But the list of these things in the community goes ON and ON…

This kind of thing is, in reality, just about the same thing as a guy buying an expensive sports car because he thinks it will get him more women in his life.

Which brings me to the next point.  Overcompensating Abundance due to Lack of Abundance.  Let’s watch this video by a guy who is coaching for Daygame.com – then I will follow up with the reply I left on their blog about the video (which is what prompted me to write this big Diatribe in the first place… 😉 )

(Interesting how now the video is marked “Private” – Just noticed as of 10/25/2014.  Basically he was talking about how there IS no Soulmate or there IS no One Special Girl in the world.  Tom El Toro or whatever his name is from Daygame.com seemed really bitter and jaded in this video and reminded me of a guy who just found out about the community and still hadn’t dealt with the anger issues.  That’s kind of the point of this article.)

My reply:

Yes and no. I think you have good intentions by teaching this, but it’s also part of the dogma that screws up so many guys in the community.

Check it out, back in the day Mystery said it best. We are learning a skillset so that when we do come across that amazing girl we are ready to act and know what to do (not an exact quote but I’m too lazy too look it up).

Some guys get into this community to find a girl, get married, and live happily ever after. The funny thing is, I know guys who did just that. They went out a few times and ended up meeting a kickass girl they liked and then got married. So what? I don’t see anything wrong with that idea.

Personally, I have slept with so many girls at this point I can’t count them, but I STILL believe the one is out there. I do think there is a perfect chick out there for me. But the DIFFERENCE between the way I go about it and the way most guys will go about it is what you talk about, “oneitis”.

However, what so many what I call “New School” guys (like yourselves) tend to do is overcompensate a lot of rules that were made as stepping stones towards seduction NOT die-hard rules.

For instance, guys like to take things like, “Don’t buy girls drinks,” to ridiculous proportions. SO you got guys doing boneheaded shit like inviting a girl to go out for drinks and then when the tab come looking at the girl like, “are you going to pay your half?”

That doesn’t come across as Alpha or Socially Savvy – it actually has the opposite effect. The guy comes across as Socially Awkward and a Cheap Ass – kinda like the friend I had in highschool who would ask for gas money after asking me to come to the mall with him.

Same thing in this case. ONEITIS – It is not meant to teach guys to have this sad, hopeless, bleak outlook that there is not a kickass perfect girl for them out there. It is meant to instruct guys to go out, keep playing, and approach LEARNING from an ABUNDANCE mindset. So instead of the new guy going after only one woman, he can go after several to LEARN HIS SKILLSET.

But again, unfortunately a lot of the new-blood misconstrued the concept and now it has become more than a stepping stone to training, it has become an IDEAL – It has become DOGMA! Actually, what is has done is also become a PROTECTION, a SHIELD against getting hurt. So in essence, where you say it is coming at things from an ABUNDANCE mindset – the reality is that it is actually viewing things from a SCARCITY Mentality.

Reason being, you said it yourself. There are literally billions of people out there. So you’re saying that out of all those billions of people out there, you can’t find a chick who is perfect for you and vice versa? I know you kinda stated it as, “There are several the ‘the ones’”, and that’s about the closest you got to it, but that most important point is buried by the bleakness of the rest of your presentation.

So let’s go back. Why are you preaching scarcity? Because a man of TRUE abundance would have absolutely no DOUBT that there is a perfect girl for him. That’s abundance thinking. Ya, there are a LOT of kickass girls, but for sure there is one amazing chick out there for me. But I’m not going to stop, drop and roll and just look for her. No man, life is a journey and I will enjoy all these chicks along the way, maybe even thinking that the current or next girl could be her, I might even allow myself to “fall in love” with the girl, if it’s even for 1 night. So when I say scarcity, the REASON guys say there is no “One” is to PROTECT THEMSELVES from FAILURE. That’s not abundance thinking at all. You’re afraid of putting yourself out there and getting rejected.

It is simply an intermediate form of “fear of rejection”.

But it’s also an indicator of where you’re at with your game. I just hope that, now, because you are coaching that you can still have an open mind and learn this, instead of being stuck in rigid, community dogma type thinking.

So have a true abundance mindset. I’m a badass motherfucker! Of COURSE there is one kickass Rare, superfly chick out there who is a perfect match for me. There could only be one BECAUSE I’m so rare, amazing and unique! I may find her one day or I may not, but I will look for her, and have a hell of a lot of fun in the process.

In the long run, by having that positive mindset, a guy can actually go – “hmmm. Holy shit! This girl I’ve been with for the past year… She’s pretty awesome.”

The DANGER of what you are talking about is teaching guys who come into this just to find a girlfriend that there is something wrong with that. Guys come into the community thinking they want a girlfriend and come across overcompensating dogma, and believe it. Now the guy who just wanted a girlfriend thinks he needs to fuck multiple women. Then he comes across more bad information and thinks the girls he fucks are not hot enough. He can’t just like the girl he met at the party last month; he has to bang strippers, the hot club bartender and the supermodel.

You see what I’m saying? It goes ON AND ON AND ON. Where does it stop? With a guy getting frustrated because the goals he acquired since he joined the community are not even his own goals anymore, but the goals of desperate guys who were trying to figure out ways to overcompensate for their lack of abundance?

No man, don’t crush the dream. Just teach men a different approach to getting there… ;)

Just to summarize. These rules are made to learn not to adhere to as life-defining dogma.

1. My example of “Not buying girls drinks.” – It is meant to teach guys to be wary of the outdated concept of buying a girl a drink to gain her attention. It is so new guys don’t go to a club and some bottle-rat asks him to buy her a drink, and he thinks it’s going to help him get laid. In other words, it is so he does not get taken advantage of.

2 . Oneitis – It is meant as a training tool to keep guys focused on pursuing multiple women at the same time so they can learn a skillset. It is meant as a way to have them understand, at first, that there is “no special girl” so they don’t get stuck chasing after one girl. In my opinion, playing with many is the key to finding the one. By not assuming each of them is AUTOMATICALLY special we can be free to find out for real which one really PROVES to be special.

That’s the point so many people miss. True abundance vs overcompensating for scarcity with false abundance.

It is NOT meant to deter them from relationships. What I like to tell guys is, they can do what they ultimately want. Relationships are cool. But if you want to get better at seduction it takes practice and setting down with one chick can stall out progress. But it is all about TRAINING. Not about IDEALS to adhere and cling to to define one’s life.

You dig?

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Cheers!