Day2 Scrum – Dating How-To Mini Guide for Men

This is a scrum of ideas I posted once, and is more based on a guy who already has a decent skillset, is getting dates, knows all the basics, but is having some trouble when it comes to converting Day2s into a close.  If you are looking for a complete date guide this might not be for you.  There are plenty of guides and sources out there you can learn the basics from.  Sometimes we gotta step things up for the guys who are maybe a tiny bit more on the experienced side.

First of all, let’s get right into the basics – NO DINNER!!!!

It becomes too much of an interview.  Food makes people tired.  You will become the next guy who took her out to eat.  I have heard several women tell me they will go out with a guy at least once to get a ‘Free Meal’ even if they’re not sure they like you.

So NIX the food for the most part, unless you want to save a few bucks and do a Byob!  In that case make sure you make it clear to her, “I’m not really that hungry but I could nibble on something.  Let’s go get an app to share.”  or something like that.  Don’t make FOOD the central theme.

I’m telling you.  The times I spend the most money are the times I DO NOT get laid.  You have to be careful with some girls.  They will eat and drink and want you to spend your money and get mad if you don’t.

There is one time that comes to mind that a girl got pissed because she offered to pay and I let her but if you got a chick like that, who fucking cares.  You want her to want you, not want what you can pay for.

But BALANCE this.  Don’t be a stingy, cheapass either.  It’s tough sometimes, but it takes social calibration.  If you invite someone out to drinks it doesn’t make sense to say, “I just invited you here to drink but now you have to pay for your own shit.”

It’s like my friend in Highschool who would had a car and would call me and say, “hey man, I’m going to ‘such and such’ a place.  You should come with me!” and then once we were rolling he would ask for Gas Money.

Girls talk about everything!  They will talk to you with their friends and people whom you’ve never met and if you come across as a cheap ass to even one of those friends you’re done.

FOOD Exceptions:

The 2 exceptions that come to mind that involve day2s and Food or Dinner are as follows:

1.  You can meet a girl to a bar WALKING DISTANCE by your place, grab some appetizers to nibble, making sure you nibble light and she doesn’t slam down the food.  Then you have maybe 1 drink and nibble the food and say, “Hey, let’s go check out this other place.” Make sure you get a doggy bag for the food and take it with you. On the way to the next place, you say, “I don’t want to carry this around all night…  I’m gonna drop this in my fridge real fast.”

Then you walk with her to your place, and assuming things are going ok and she actually likes you, she comes in with you.  First thing you do is put the food in the fridge, pour her a glass of wine and yourself, NOT FULL, just like half a glass so it doesn’t seem like you are pre-planning this, but at the same time it’s enough where she will have to take a minute to drink it, then start chatting.  You don’t have to get right on top of her shit, you can sit a few feet away at first, and, AS ALWAYS, make sure that she is hopefully sitting somewhere positioned where she can EASILY get to the door and YOU ARE NOT BLOCKING her path.  Why?  Because subconsciously this sends a message to her that you’re the safe, cool, not needy guy you are, and that you are SAFE.  You want a girl to be and feel safe at all times, even in the subtlest ways, because a guy who gets plenty of ass and loves women would do most of these thing unconsciously.  That’s why women love him… 😉

Then you can escalate.

2.  Dinner at your place – You make her DINNER.  For me, this usually means going classy style.  Sure, you can cook some bullshit and it can do the trick, but honestly there was something I heard on a Joe Rogan Podcast (if anyone knows about the specifics of that podcast like which one it is, feel free to let me know in the comments) where these guys talked about how if you feed a woman certain things that it can release certain feelings in her like, “Wow, this food is so amazing that life must be abundant, safe, awesome, fantastic – I can relax and breed.”  In that case the guy talked about making some home made ice cream that was really rich – maybe paleo with a lot of creme or butter or something, I can’t recall.

But in MY case, I like to approach this from multiple sides.  A.  I will make her cocktails if I can, or have red wine if you’re not that creative or feeling lazy.  Not white wine.  White wine reminds women of brunch or hanging out with their friends.  Red wine is seductive, has a nice warm buzz, and is associated with romance and sex and being naughty.  But if you have cocktail skills, like I do, then you can REALLY wow her and make some badass, classy cocktails. I like something like an Espresso Martini, or maybe an Old Fashioned, or if it’s winter you can get her really wet and make a Blue Blazer.  Basically something she can sip on and enjoy, not shots or bullshit party drinks.  Yes, you can make her margaritas or some nonsense but you’re not hanging out with some sloppy club slut and getting ready to do lines of coke..  I mean if you are then that’s a completely different style of game, and this whole post is irrelevant.  But if you are a classy, seductive guy then …  keep it classy.

Then B. Have her help you cook.  Don’t have her just sitting there like you’re her servant and she’s waiting to see how you can impress her.  You’re going to impress her anyway.  I like to make Carbonara.  I might have her cut garlic or bacon or something.  Pretend it’s like you’re on a cooking show.  Have fun with it.  Correct her. “Cut the bacon a bit smaller/larger.  Wait, you have to slice the garlic like ‘this’.”  But do it in an interactive, light hearted, fun way. Think James Bond.

C.  Again, I like to make Carbonara because it seems to have that effect.  All that cream, and cheese and pasta and bacon are going to go right to her brain and announce to her body, “Holy shit.  Life is AMAZING.  We are safe.  We are in the perfect position to rest, relax and even mate.  Let’s do it!”  All that goodness is going to release the itis and if you are escalating while you have been cooking and even eating, but not all hardcore or sloppy like, she will be DTF or at least get the heavy fool around going down.

Ok, enough about food.  PS. I don’t recommend LEARNING how to escalate or close the deal by practicing with food dates.  Newer guys will most likely be a bit clumsy to deal with all the details.

Out on the Town:

Now then if you’re out and about and not doing the dinner thing.  Bounce to 2 places ONLY.  GO NEAR YOUR PLACE!!!!  Nope, seriously.  It’s easier.  Yes you can close at random places but why make it hard on yourself?  Choose a place that is moderately busy but with some people.  DON’T pick a very busy place.  Keep the distractions to a minimum

Venue 1 – Drink 1 Drink ONLY.  Do not get seconds.  If she goes to order a second drink then politely cut her off and suggest, “Actually let’s get a drink somewhere else.  There’s this other cool place I wanna check out.”

Venue 2 – Drink maybe two at the most.  Do not let her get too many drinks in her.  Trust me.  If you can keep it low then you’re good to go.  I recently had a day2 where the chick had too much wine and from 1 bar to the next she INSTANTLY went from Liking me A LOT, kissing, sexual fun vibe, to BITCH because she was an angry drunk.   That reminds me:  DO NOT SIT AT THE BAR.

Read that again.

DO NOT SIT AT THE BAR.

Find a booth or a nice quiet little table.  Get intimate and private.  No distractions.  .

Ya (guys may argue with this but that’s because they’re trying to sound cool) the problems associated with sitting at the bar are…

Distractions from TV
Distractions from girls
Distractions from guys
Distractions from couples
Distractions from Bartenders
If she is a shit tester she may try to get the bartender to side with her during a debate – Guy or Girl bartender will most likely side with her just because…
She may feel more uncomfortable kinoing or getting a sexual vibe going at the bar.

PS – My day 2 game is AMAZING.  I feel than almost any chick I get out with me will end up naked in my bed.  NOW there are always exceptions to this rule but I have a high consistency rate because I am always learning from every little tiny mistake or contingency that takes place…  So the point is that YES you can be cool and do all this stuff however you want but I am trying to make things EAZY to get to point A to point F.

So make it easier.  After Venue 2 head to venue 3…  (by the way this is easier if you are walking the who time, not driving) but on the way to this imaginary venue 3 make up an excuse you need to stop at your place.

Restroom and the bar’s is gross…
maybe you do order a little food and don’t want to carry the box around all night. (like we mentioned above)

Make it light and make it random.

Have wine on hand or some other alcohol.  music is good too.  “i’ll be just a minute…  Want some wine?”

If she’s there she’s on but it’s still up to you.  You have to play cool.

Push and pull and vibe her.  If you get close and are touching and the sexual tension is hot and she gets a little uncomfortable, pull away and move away from her nonchalantly.  You should actually be push-pulling kino from the get go of the entire day2.

Let me see if I can break down my day 2 game in a very basic form:

Talk, Talk, Touch, Grope, Talk, Talk, More Groping, Talk about Groping and Touching, Tell her I like her and WHY (the most important part, but the part so easy to forget – “You know why I like you? Because not only are you incredibly sexy but you (mention things you like about her personality), more groping (when I say groping I mean groping. Legs, stomach, back, ass, boobs, yes all in public and blatant. For a buffer you can always entrap her into starting it if you get the opportunity i.e. She goes to put her arm around your back and on the way brushes your ass. You say, “You trying to grab my ass?” She will probably protest. You say, “No it’s ok, Go ahead.” with a smile. Once she does it, it’s game on.) Talking is a buffer for you to touch her. I didn’t get this for such a long time. The key is getting over your fear of touching her and just going. I EVEN get my hands pushed away several times on date. I used to think that was bad. It’s NOT.

Pitfall and Contingency: 

I forgot to mention I do tend to overuse preselection in my talking. Preselection is powerful shit. If you thread your stories with adventures of you and other girls she will know you’re a sexy guy it’s ok to get down with. Of course, like anything, it can be overused. On last nights date I came up with the PERFECT way to reframe once she calls me on it. What I’m saying is, I want to thread myself as a guy who gets action and dates alot. ONCE a chick starts to like you she will say something like, “I don’t want to hear about all these other girls.” So last night I said, “Good. I’m glad it took you this long to actually say that, because I had to make sure you weren’t going to be one of those creepy, jealous, cling-on chicks. It took you a while to call me out on talking about other girls so that’s good.” And then you do not have to do preselection stories anymore. She knows you’re a hot stud. 😉 Now kiss her on her face and put your arms around her and grab her ass with both hands.

I feel like I want to elaborate on getting my hands pushed away AND it being ok. Mostly experienced guys can skip this. This part is for newer guys. If she is OBVIOUSLY not happy when you touch her and she is pushing your hands away like, “get off me creep.” then, in that case it is NOT ok to keep touching her, but most likely she will leave anyway. If she does like it she may still give you shit but she’ll probably be smiling when she removes my hand from her boob, call me bad (i love to hear this) or at the very least she will have an unemotional, straight face and say something more aggressive like, “You sure touch alot.” HERE’S the screen I’m looking for. IF she says she doesn’t like it when guys touch her – she means she’s doesn’t like it when YOU touch her. Say, “that’s too bad cuz I love touching.” And if she has a problem with it, well in this case it’s ok to use the term NEXT.  Why waste time on the Mic? But also this is a good way to learn to fractionate a little when you first start touching her.

This is my little scrum of thoughts on a good day2.  By no means in this a complete guide but, perhaps, it will help you to fill in some holes you may have.  Maybe newer guys will hurt their head a little reading this but for you guys who have been out there, I’m pretty sure a lot of these things will make sense to you.

Good luck!

The Porn-Masturbation Connection – How Porn Can Ruin Your Sex Life and Make You Less of a Man

Alright, time to get back to serious after a little kickass house music yesterday (or was it the day before?)  I am starting a sort of case study (basically a new page) based on the concept that there are powers that be out in the world that DON’T want you having a healthy sex life, called, “They Don’t Want You to Get Laid.”  I haven’t made the page yet but it’s coming soon, and basically this will be one of the featured articles on the page.  I decided to reblog this, it’s about Masturbating to Porn and the many ways it can basically emasculate you and stop you from having a quality sex life. 

This originally appeared on the Harvard Crimson website. Here we go. ~RL

5Qs about Pornography with Dr. Donald L. Hilton, Jr. MD

Dr. Donald L. Hilton is a neurosurgeon at the University of Texas and delivered the annual “White Ribbon Against Pornography Week” lecture, sponsored by True Love Revolution.

By EMILY R. BRESLOW, CONTRIBUTING WRITER April 7, 2011

Fifteen Minutes: What are some of the challenges that come with the study of pornography?

Donald L. Hilton: A big one is the difficulty of finding a control group—few men have never seen porn. Also, because the topic is tied to ideological assumptions, people assume that if you show porn is bad, you must be a religious fanatic, making it hard to be taken seriously. Although, people are beginning to recognize it as a legitimate addiction.

FM: Tom Wolfe once said, “The bigger pornography gets, the lower the birthrate becomes.” Is there any truth in this?

DLH: Pornography emasculates men—they depend on porn to get sexually excited and can no longer get off by having sex with their women alone. What happens when you are addicted to porn is that you crave it. Real sex even becomes a poor substitute for porn, and you lose interest. This in turn contributes to the decreased fertility rate—making porn a kind of environmentally friendly population control. Although, the benefits gained from population control are vastly outweighed by the damage addiction does to families and individuals.

FM: When a species is endangered, scientists often look for environmental reasons. You claim that porn is causing the endangerment of the “real man”: what do you mean by this, and what are the environmental causes?

DLH: What it means to be a real man varies across time and space: for example, growing up in Southeast Texas it meant playing football, but for many it means to provide for your family and to be a caring husband. When you are addicted you can’t help but feed your addiction at the expense of everyone around you. Porn is fast, cheap, and easy—three things that emotionally involved copulations with a partner are not, so men are foregoing the latter for the former.

FM: What is going on neurologically in someone who is addicted to pornography?

DLH: What we see in people addicted to porn is the same as what we see with people addicted to drugs such as cocaine, supporting the theory that addiction to porn really is an addiction, and not merely a bad habit. The most significant areas of change are in the control and pleasure centers of the brain. Additionally, when we orgasm, we release a neurotransmitter called oxytocin which causes bonding, so we are literally bonding to porn when we use it to get off—making breaking the addiction that much harder.

FM: How widespread is porn use?

DLH: Over the past five years, the world pornography revenue was $97 billion annually. Every second, $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography. The only reason these numbers aren’t higher is because so much porn is available for free! Every second 28,258 internet users are viewing porn. Eighty-seven percent of college men and 31 percent of college women admit to watching porn. Twenty percent of college men watch porn daily—suggesting a possible addiction. Porn is used more by men than women because men have the ability to engage more quickly, and more porn is geared toward men than women.

You can find the original article by clicking here.

Questions, comments?  Maybe you had an experience dealing with this kind of thing and you had a breakthrough that you think might help others.  Feel free to let it out!

Until next time…

A Radical Approach to Learning Game REALLY Fast

I wanted to introduce you to another ‘partner in crime’ if you will.  His name is Mercutio.  He’s on a pretty advanced level of his game so he can see the insights (Matrix, if you will) and break shit down.  I think he and I have totally different styles of game but the thing is, we are both very good at what we do.  But the point is, I love spreading different ideas of what works.  The way, in my opinion, to really get good is to take what works for you from different guys and build your own badass skillset.

I plan on having Mercutio write a guest article (or 2) in the future for my blog, but for now, I thought THIS particular post was too valuable to NOT post.  So, check it check it out.  Enjoi. ~Ronnie

Themesong:

A Radical Approach to Learning Game REALLY Fast

« on: February 13, 2013, 03:05 PM »

As some of you know, I’ve been learning french. Kinda a necessity here in France lol.

My opinion — learning a language and game at the same time will get you good at game about 4 times faster, and help you reach a higher level than you would without it.

Did you know that your 3rd or 4th language is about 3-4 times easier to learn than you 2nd? People who learn Esperanto and then another language are better at that other language than people who took only that language. It SEEMS like a waste of time to learn Esperanto, but the fact is the mental framework of how to mentally EXIST in another reality has been created, and now it is easy to learn another language. And in a way, GAME is learning how to exist and think in another reality.

I think the struggles of learning a language would DRASTICALLY benefit most game noobs, bc they have so much of the same learning elements. It will streamline your learning process and help you avoid A LOT of the pitfalls of learning game. Plus, at the end of it, you will be really good with women AND bilingual.

Similarities:

– It’s something that you at first think is IMPOSSIBLE. You are almost afraid to try.

– People think people just have some ‘talent’ that they are born with for it. ‘I just don’t have the ‘gift”. Or they think that if you didn’t learn it by a certain age, you are doomed.

– Starting conversations is EXTREMELY uncomfortable at first. There is REAL FEAR there. At every moment, you will want to escape (to revert to english, or to go back to drinking beer and talking about game with your wings instead of approaching). But I promise you, that is the direction of success. There is no other way to speak a language than to speak a language — you have to jump in sometime, and it is always scary at first.

– There is a ‘fake’ success level. This is hugely important. Ever met someone that claims they can speak English, but then you talk to them and they are like ‘no, you no go there’ or ‘yes, me do that’? Yeah, we can understand them, but its not fluent. But they THINK they are fluent. SAME WITH GAME. There’s a lot of guys out there that are getting laid kinda often by kinda attractive girls — just enough for them to think that they are ‘fluent’. But the truth is, there is always a lot more room for improvement, and when you are fluent, you will KNOW it. The success is like a dam breaking.

The FIELD is KING. A LOT more people can write french than can speak it live. Well, there’s a LOT of people that can write about how to get girls, but can’t do it live either. You can study grammar and vocabulary all day, but if you aren’t out there practicing with REAL LIVE people, you will not be fluent. Plus you will learn to follow the field over theory… if the natives are using this slang now, it doesn’t matter what your fucking book is telling you… that slang is the truth. This will often conflict with the ‘keyboard theorists’, who will hate you, but you should trust your field experience.
-A corollary to this is to ‘follow the pro’s’ — if a native says it like that, it’s probably right. If you see a guy who gets girls do it and get laid, it probably works too.

-A focus on an actual GOAL. My goal in french is not to be the guy that knows every single vocabulary word, or the guy who knows all the grammar rules. My goal is to be able to communicate fluently.
Same with game — your goal in game should not be to be the guy that knows every single theory of every single coach out there, but to be the guy that is absolutely awesome in the field and pulls hot girls. That is the only goal. Stop giving a shit about being well respected on the forum, or being seen as a future ‘coach’ and be the guy that performs extremely well , and you will get everything in the process. If you learn a language at the same time as game, this truth will be self-evident and the lesson will translate across to your game learning without you even thinking about it.

-The more you learn, the more you learn. It’s a J-curve. In the beginning, progress will be brutally slow. You will want to give up. Nothing is coordinated, and you don’t know enough words to make it through basically any sentence. In starting game, you will know a little, but likely not enough to make it through sets successfully. But then this all changes. The more you learn, the more you open the door to learning more. You will be better at speaking, so more people will be willing to speak with you, so you learn more. You aren’t getting shot down off the bat, so your sets last 5-10 mins, instead of 15 seconds. There is a CLEAR tipping point in game, where all of a sudden momentum is on your side and you know enough to REALLY start to learn more.

– Just like a language, game is something that once you are good at it, you don’t even have to THINK about. You almost forget you know it, or how incredibly much you actually know. It’s immensely frustrating for someone who knows it to try and teach someone who doesn’t, bc its just instinctive. It’s like ‘oh shit, you don’t know what ‘triangle’ means?’ ‘I dunno why, it just SOUNDS right, that would work’. ‘How could you have thought that girl DIDN’T like you — she was giving you the sign to take her home!!’
– At the same time, its also REALLY annoying to be fluent, and have someone who isn’t correct you on how to do it bc they read it in a book.

– It’s like a subscript that is running without you even knowing it. Just like how in French I am translating into English without even thinking, in game I am translating into meaning the same way, instantly and instinctively. ‘Ahh, that move was too needy’ ‘That guy is being too chill — that’s gotta be her husband’ etc…

-It gets “quicker” – remember how Mystery said at first game is just racing by you, but then later it just slows down. Same with a language — at first you are overwhelmed, you’re like ‘I CAN’T THINK THAT FAST!!!’ Then like three weeks later, you are like, wow, holy shit, I have all this time to think.

– You have REALLY bad days, and REALLY good days. Some days, you feel like a king — you can understand like everything. Then there are days that you just can’t understand shit and you feel embarrassed. Learning a language will teach you patience.

– Teaches you how to avoid VAPOR-LOCK – this is what I call ‘I am thinking too much, I don’t know what to say’ syndrome. I fuck up ALL THE TIME in french, but it’s better to fuck it up and get the meaning across, than to pause and pause and pause while I compute all the grammar in order to say it perfectly. The lesson from this is to keep what you have running in your mind decently light and not overload your mental capacities. Now, still strive to improve, but in the field, you need to be able to flow and allow mistakes.

– Teaches you to be consistent a little at a time. Just a little bit of practice each day will make a huge difference.

– It is easily maintained, but you lose it decently quick if you let it rot — every guy on this forum has had great game at one point in time, then got a gf, then broke up and had to re-learn some shit. It doesn’t take a lot to keep yourself in tip-top shape, always practice your game even if you wouldn’t actually follow through on it.

Anyways, there’s a lot more. But I honestly, honestly, honestly, think every newb should learn a language at the same time they are learning game. The principles cross over perfectly, and you will have learned how to learn game in a very efficient manner that will make I think will cut your learning time down by at least half, likely more. Plus, you will be bilingual, which is fucking awesome. Btw, knowing even just an ounce of another language in America is an instant deal-sealer with any girl that speaks it. My french gets me laid in America by girls that can speak even a basic level — plus it gives us an inside conspiracy element. With spanish, you will have to know more to be impressive, but if you know even 300 words in Russian, you will get laid at least twice a year in River North with Eastern Europeans, Ukrainians, and Russians.

-Merc

How do you think this can improve your overall skillset with women?

Do you have ideas or thoughts to add to this and share?  I would like to hear them.

Want to know more about Mercutio?  Stay Tuned.