Day2 Scrum – Dating How-To Mini Guide for Men

This is a scrum of ideas I posted once, and is more based on a guy who already has a decent skillset, is getting dates, knows all the basics, but is having some trouble when it comes to converting Day2s into a close.  If you are looking for a complete date guide this might not be for you.  There are plenty of guides and sources out there you can learn the basics from.  Sometimes we gotta step things up for the guys who are maybe a tiny bit more on the experienced side.

First of all, let’s get right into the basics – NO DINNER!!!!

It becomes too much of an interview.  Food makes people tired.  You will become the next guy who took her out to eat.  I have heard several women tell me they will go out with a guy at least once to get a ‘Free Meal’ even if they’re not sure they like you.

So NIX the food for the most part, unless you want to save a few bucks and do a Byob!  In that case make sure you make it clear to her, “I’m not really that hungry but I could nibble on something.  Let’s go get an app to share.”  or something like that.  Don’t make FOOD the central theme.

I’m telling you.  The times I spend the most money are the times I DO NOT get laid.  You have to be careful with some girls.  They will eat and drink and want you to spend your money and get mad if you don’t.

There is one time that comes to mind that a girl got pissed because she offered to pay and I let her but if you got a chick like that, who fucking cares.  You want her to want you, not want what you can pay for.

But BALANCE this.  Don’t be a stingy, cheapass either.  It’s tough sometimes, but it takes social calibration.  If you invite someone out to drinks it doesn’t make sense to say, “I just invited you here to drink but now you have to pay for your own shit.”

It’s like my friend in Highschool who would had a car and would call me and say, “hey man, I’m going to ‘such and such’ a place.  You should come with me!” and then once we were rolling he would ask for Gas Money.

Girls talk about everything!  They will talk to you with their friends and people whom you’ve never met and if you come across as a cheap ass to even one of those friends you’re done.

FOOD Exceptions:

The 2 exceptions that come to mind that involve day2s and Food or Dinner are as follows:

1.  You can meet a girl to a bar WALKING DISTANCE by your place, grab some appetizers to nibble, making sure you nibble light and she doesn’t slam down the food.  Then you have maybe 1 drink and nibble the food and say, “Hey, let’s go check out this other place.” Make sure you get a doggy bag for the food and take it with you. On the way to the next place, you say, “I don’t want to carry this around all night…  I’m gonna drop this in my fridge real fast.”

Then you walk with her to your place, and assuming things are going ok and she actually likes you, she comes in with you.  First thing you do is put the food in the fridge, pour her a glass of wine and yourself, NOT FULL, just like half a glass so it doesn’t seem like you are pre-planning this, but at the same time it’s enough where she will have to take a minute to drink it, then start chatting.  You don’t have to get right on top of her shit, you can sit a few feet away at first, and, AS ALWAYS, make sure that she is hopefully sitting somewhere positioned where she can EASILY get to the door and YOU ARE NOT BLOCKING her path.  Why?  Because subconsciously this sends a message to her that you’re the safe, cool, not needy guy you are, and that you are SAFE.  You want a girl to be and feel safe at all times, even in the subtlest ways, because a guy who gets plenty of ass and loves women would do most of these thing unconsciously.  That’s why women love him… 😉

Then you can escalate.

2.  Dinner at your place – You make her DINNER.  For me, this usually means going classy style.  Sure, you can cook some bullshit and it can do the trick, but honestly there was something I heard on a Joe Rogan Podcast (if anyone knows about the specifics of that podcast like which one it is, feel free to let me know in the comments) where these guys talked about how if you feed a woman certain things that it can release certain feelings in her like, “Wow, this food is so amazing that life must be abundant, safe, awesome, fantastic – I can relax and breed.”  In that case the guy talked about making some home made ice cream that was really rich – maybe paleo with a lot of creme or butter or something, I can’t recall.

But in MY case, I like to approach this from multiple sides.  A.  I will make her cocktails if I can, or have red wine if you’re not that creative or feeling lazy.  Not white wine.  White wine reminds women of brunch or hanging out with their friends.  Red wine is seductive, has a nice warm buzz, and is associated with romance and sex and being naughty.  But if you have cocktail skills, like I do, then you can REALLY wow her and make some badass, classy cocktails. I like something like an Espresso Martini, or maybe an Old Fashioned, or if it’s winter you can get her really wet and make a Blue Blazer.  Basically something she can sip on and enjoy, not shots or bullshit party drinks.  Yes, you can make her margaritas or some nonsense but you’re not hanging out with some sloppy club slut and getting ready to do lines of coke..  I mean if you are then that’s a completely different style of game, and this whole post is irrelevant.  But if you are a classy, seductive guy then …  keep it classy.

Then B. Have her help you cook.  Don’t have her just sitting there like you’re her servant and she’s waiting to see how you can impress her.  You’re going to impress her anyway.  I like to make Carbonara.  I might have her cut garlic or bacon or something.  Pretend it’s like you’re on a cooking show.  Have fun with it.  Correct her. “Cut the bacon a bit smaller/larger.  Wait, you have to slice the garlic like ‘this’.”  But do it in an interactive, light hearted, fun way. Think James Bond.

C.  Again, I like to make Carbonara because it seems to have that effect.  All that cream, and cheese and pasta and bacon are going to go right to her brain and announce to her body, “Holy shit.  Life is AMAZING.  We are safe.  We are in the perfect position to rest, relax and even mate.  Let’s do it!”  All that goodness is going to release the itis and if you are escalating while you have been cooking and even eating, but not all hardcore or sloppy like, she will be DTF or at least get the heavy fool around going down.

Ok, enough about food.  PS. I don’t recommend LEARNING how to escalate or close the deal by practicing with food dates.  Newer guys will most likely be a bit clumsy to deal with all the details.

Out on the Town:

Now then if you’re out and about and not doing the dinner thing.  Bounce to 2 places ONLY.  GO NEAR YOUR PLACE!!!!  Nope, seriously.  It’s easier.  Yes you can close at random places but why make it hard on yourself?  Choose a place that is moderately busy but with some people.  DON’T pick a very busy place.  Keep the distractions to a minimum

Venue 1 – Drink 1 Drink ONLY.  Do not get seconds.  If she goes to order a second drink then politely cut her off and suggest, “Actually let’s get a drink somewhere else.  There’s this other cool place I wanna check out.”

Venue 2 – Drink maybe two at the most.  Do not let her get too many drinks in her.  Trust me.  If you can keep it low then you’re good to go.  I recently had a day2 where the chick had too much wine and from 1 bar to the next she INSTANTLY went from Liking me A LOT, kissing, sexual fun vibe, to BITCH because she was an angry drunk.   That reminds me:  DO NOT SIT AT THE BAR.

Read that again.

DO NOT SIT AT THE BAR.

Find a booth or a nice quiet little table.  Get intimate and private.  No distractions.  .

Ya (guys may argue with this but that’s because they’re trying to sound cool) the problems associated with sitting at the bar are…

Distractions from TV
Distractions from girls
Distractions from guys
Distractions from couples
Distractions from Bartenders
If she is a shit tester she may try to get the bartender to side with her during a debate – Guy or Girl bartender will most likely side with her just because…
She may feel more uncomfortable kinoing or getting a sexual vibe going at the bar.

PS – My day 2 game is AMAZING.  I feel than almost any chick I get out with me will end up naked in my bed.  NOW there are always exceptions to this rule but I have a high consistency rate because I am always learning from every little tiny mistake or contingency that takes place…  So the point is that YES you can be cool and do all this stuff however you want but I am trying to make things EAZY to get to point A to point F.

So make it easier.  After Venue 2 head to venue 3…  (by the way this is easier if you are walking the who time, not driving) but on the way to this imaginary venue 3 make up an excuse you need to stop at your place.

Restroom and the bar’s is gross…
maybe you do order a little food and don’t want to carry the box around all night. (like we mentioned above)

Make it light and make it random.

Have wine on hand or some other alcohol.  music is good too.  “i’ll be just a minute…  Want some wine?”

If she’s there she’s on but it’s still up to you.  You have to play cool.

Push and pull and vibe her.  If you get close and are touching and the sexual tension is hot and she gets a little uncomfortable, pull away and move away from her nonchalantly.  You should actually be push-pulling kino from the get go of the entire day2.

Let me see if I can break down my day 2 game in a very basic form:

Talk, Talk, Touch, Grope, Talk, Talk, More Groping, Talk about Groping and Touching, Tell her I like her and WHY (the most important part, but the part so easy to forget – “You know why I like you? Because not only are you incredibly sexy but you (mention things you like about her personality), more groping (when I say groping I mean groping. Legs, stomach, back, ass, boobs, yes all in public and blatant. For a buffer you can always entrap her into starting it if you get the opportunity i.e. She goes to put her arm around your back and on the way brushes your ass. You say, “You trying to grab my ass?” She will probably protest. You say, “No it’s ok, Go ahead.” with a smile. Once she does it, it’s game on.) Talking is a buffer for you to touch her. I didn’t get this for such a long time. The key is getting over your fear of touching her and just going. I EVEN get my hands pushed away several times on date. I used to think that was bad. It’s NOT.

Pitfall and Contingency: 

I forgot to mention I do tend to overuse preselection in my talking. Preselection is powerful shit. If you thread your stories with adventures of you and other girls she will know you’re a sexy guy it’s ok to get down with. Of course, like anything, it can be overused. On last nights date I came up with the PERFECT way to reframe once she calls me on it. What I’m saying is, I want to thread myself as a guy who gets action and dates alot. ONCE a chick starts to like you she will say something like, “I don’t want to hear about all these other girls.” So last night I said, “Good. I’m glad it took you this long to actually say that, because I had to make sure you weren’t going to be one of those creepy, jealous, cling-on chicks. It took you a while to call me out on talking about other girls so that’s good.” And then you do not have to do preselection stories anymore. She knows you’re a hot stud. 😉 Now kiss her on her face and put your arms around her and grab her ass with both hands.

I feel like I want to elaborate on getting my hands pushed away AND it being ok. Mostly experienced guys can skip this. This part is for newer guys. If she is OBVIOUSLY not happy when you touch her and she is pushing your hands away like, “get off me creep.” then, in that case it is NOT ok to keep touching her, but most likely she will leave anyway. If she does like it she may still give you shit but she’ll probably be smiling when she removes my hand from her boob, call me bad (i love to hear this) or at the very least she will have an unemotional, straight face and say something more aggressive like, “You sure touch alot.” HERE’S the screen I’m looking for. IF she says she doesn’t like it when guys touch her – she means she’s doesn’t like it when YOU touch her. Say, “that’s too bad cuz I love touching.” And if she has a problem with it, well in this case it’s ok to use the term NEXT.  Why waste time on the Mic? But also this is a good way to learn to fractionate a little when you first start touching her.

This is my little scrum of thoughts on a good day2.  By no means in this a complete guide but, perhaps, it will help you to fill in some holes you may have.  Maybe newer guys will hurt their head a little reading this but for you guys who have been out there, I’m pretty sure a lot of these things will make sense to you.

Good luck!

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Pickup Artists are Creepy Wanna Be Rapists Who Hate Women – The Double Standard

Pickup Artists are widely considered people who use tactics and techniques to try and “manipulate” members of the opposite sex into bed.  Predatory, manipulative, rape culture, creepy…

Where else have we seen that before?

Popular Women’s Magazines perhaps?

Let’s completely overlook the ways women can look their sexiest, to attract men.  Forget all the fashion techniques, makeup, hair, pushup bras, bling etc.  Just ask a girl, they do all that for THEMSELVES..  Yeah, right…

But let’s look at some of these Mainstream Articles in these Popular women’s magazines.

Article Titles like:

Get Men to do your bidding without being a Nag

Get in his head and in his bed!

Christina Hendricks:  How she chased her man and got him!

How to disappear without a trace.

The Sex position that will Put a Ring on your Finger.

Football and poker will improve your relationship.  Find out how!

And a whole host of ways to manipulate men through sex.

It took me literally 3 minutes to pull of 3 random women’s magazine covers without even skimming for what the content of the covers would be.  Let me guess…  Women don’t read these magazines.  That’s how these magazines stay in business, and have stayed in business for so long.  That’s why advertisers spend a fortune advertising their products in these magazines. It’s because women don’t buy or read them…  😉

Am I complaining?  Am I saying there’s something wrong with all of this?  NOPE!  As a matter of fact, I am very far from the hypocritical crowd out there spouting out how men learning tactics and techniques or even just improving their lives inside and out is somehow creepy, misogynistic, women hating, rape culture.  If that were the case than women have been rapey, men hating, creepsters since before I was born.

No.  Men and women trying to become more attractive to the opposite sex is AWESOME!  It is NORMAL.  Why not?  But this double standard garbage has to stop.  Women and Men are playing the same game, and the fact is, the WOMEN have been making the rules for a long time.  In essence it is a woman’s game.  It is a beautiful game to play.  It’s just too bad some angry, jaded people, both men and women, are trying to project their own ignorance, and corrupted thinking on it.

Flirting is a dance.  It is very much so, in my opinion, an elegant, beautiful dance.  So if men and women want to learn some moves to become better dancers, Fantastic!!  But this double standard that what is great for women to do is evil for men to do just needs to be put to rest.

Sidecar:

OHH!!  Looks like I made a booboo, to the excitement and delight of one particular mangina and his blog of estrogen filled man-hating feminist followers.

A couple of the covers above, are from a parody article.  I guess just taking the first 3 covers at random and posting them in 3 minutes has it’s setbacks.  Silly me.

However, since responding beyond my only comment I left on his blog,

“If you came out of your mom’s basement, and unplugged from your attempt to win the favor of women by self-loathing you could go to any supermarket and look at any cover of any of these magazines and see how ridiculously wrong you are.

Cheers! :)”

…which is still awaiting moderation, I don’t think that this warrants the attention of another blog post.

But what I will do is take another 5 minutes of my life to give another blogger more to obsess over me about by taking hours of his day to look into every little detail of what I am about to post.  Funny how a creepy, stalkerish guy is so quick to recognize (project) his traits in others while spending hours trying to dissect my article.  Projection much?

Oh, and click this for the mangina post.

On a similar note.  Check out this article about other websites similar to the Mangina site above:

I am the Patriarchy – Mangina Sites

One last word.  Of COURSE the mangina’s article completely misses the point of this one.

Again, I think it is FABULOUS that men and women are trying to become more attractive to one another.  Men and women are not separate like the mangina site would have you believe.

In life there are a couple different schools of thought, if you will.

There are people who are separate.  Apart.

I’m old, you’re young.

I’m straight, you’re gay.

I’m Atheist, you’re religious.

He’s black, I’m white.

She’s a woman, I’m a man.

And on and on and on.

Separate – Apart.  That’s what mangina and his poor collection of readers live their lives like every day.

Then there are other people who like to think we are all in this together.  In the Taoist philosophy we all compliment one another.  Yin and Yang.  Darkness brings light.  High allows there to be low.  Valley and Mountain compliment each other as do the Seasons.

Men and women make wonderful dance partners so to speak.  We are all on THE SAME TEAM.  The human race.  There is no jaded battle between men and women other than from those who have completely lost their way.

Flirting, sexuality, seduction.  It’s a dance.  A beautiful, wonderful dance that life has gifted us the opportunity to participate in.  There is no Me vs You.  There is not US and THEM.  We are all in this together.

Comment Love

I’ve been away for a while, but I notice that while I was gone I have had an influx of new readers.

Here’s the deal.  😉

Comment on what you like, what you don’t like, what you love, what you hate, what confuses you, inspires you, frustrates you or makes you think, “ahh-HA!”  I will be back soon with some GREAT stuff.  I promise… 😉