Learn to Love Yourself and a Special Event Coming Up

But here’s the thing, man. Anyone who ever wants to have some cool shit learned on this topic in a cool ass way, throw this on in the background while you are surfing the web and start paying attention to when you start hearing the chick talk…  (I have a wing and friend who told me one of the things I do best is start a conversation with someone like we were already in the middle of a discussion… 😉 )

I don’t wanna be a mass personality.  I don’t wanna be a “one-dimension”. I wanna be me.  I wanna be human.  I don’t WANNA BE A SLAVE!

We dress a certain way, we walk a certain way, we talk a certain way, we create a certain way, we paint a certain way, we… We make love a certain way.  You know. All of these things we do in a different, unique, specific way that is personally ours.

I wanna do this the way I wanna do it. I wanna determine my own destiny.

And we decided that it is time for us to take over our own lives and do it the way we know we wanna do it, as opposed to someone else continually depersonalizing us and telling us how we’re supposed to do something, because they’re viewing us through THEIR eyes, NOT through OUR EYES.

But FIRST, learn to love yourself.  That is, your REAL self.  And that’s very hard to do and I’m still trying to do it.

The process of change is very painful, and it’s very tedious, and it’s very SLOW.  The process of change comes through conflict… Sometimes, even, you know, even suffering.  Of being aware. Observing yourself.  Watching yourself.  So you can begin to LOVE yourself. And if you can love yourself, there ain’t nothin’ you can’t do, you know?  Then I say, “I love myself so much that I can start loving you, and you can start loving me.” And the next thing is to begin to try and love someone else!

But to the degree to that you give love, is the degree that you get love back.  So that if I ain’t got none in me, I can’t get none back. It don’t matter whether they’re a doctor, lawer or indian chief.  It’s not, “I am a… a.. I am an Actor.”  Or, “I am a Doctor.” It’s, “I AM!” and if I AM, there ain’t nothing else that’s important.

SIDECAR:

Coming up in The Midwest Lair

The ZAN Lair talk…

What: Zan Perrion Midwest Lair Talk

When: Sunday, June 14th at 7pm CST
Where: Skype or Google Hangouts – Stay Tuned

That’s right. The man, the myth, the legend – Zan Perrion himself will be giving a talk for us. I couldn’t be more excited and you know that it’s rare that a seduction or pickup coach impresses me. 😉 This is one of the greats who was already great when I was still a scrub-nub learning the ropes.

Zan Perrion is a writer, author of Alabaster Girl, motivational speaker, and life coach based originally in Vancouver, B.C. One of the founding members of today’s “burgeoning community of international pickup artists”, he has advocated a more natural and enlightened form of interaction between men and women.

How to get involved?

Join the lair then once you’re accepted click the link below link… See you on the flipside.

https://www.facebook.com/events/447200595454663/

Step Through That Window – How to Skyrocket Your Success With Dating and Relationships

So I got into a little discussion on twitter.  There is an article about a study that was done by @Single_N_Dating  that suggests that:

Jun 24

: Our study says on a will keep u from forming a

This inspired me to write a LONG thought about article that will be SUPER POWERFUL for guys at intermediate to advanced level if they can learn to take advantage of what I am about to share here.  This is NOT something that I think anyone else out there is really talking about, and has come from a LOT of time in field and having a LOT of successful as well as unsuccessful interactions.

In reference to the twitter comment above: Since I think relationships are not really well known or talked about (just like getting sexual) by most “Guru’s” in the Pickup and Seduction community, probably because it’s not something most of them have a lot of actual experience with (that’s another story – and the same reason, IMO so many of them don’t really discuss getting sexual that often – not to bag on all the guys coaching or teaching this stuff, there are some guys (albeit very few) who have some GREAT stuff that teaches getting sexual – I have reblogged a few of them in the past. Will list some at the bottom for your perusal.) I have been inspired to share this with you – since this post is both powerful for creating relationships AS WELL AS helping you escalate ANY PART of the interaction to the next level.

So let’s get into it with some EXAMPLES of MISSING the WINDOWS:

The first time I remember noticing this was once after I had an awesome 3 days with a burlesque dancer, and she called me telling me how she really liked me; “I REALLLLY Like you…” she said over the phone.  Then she proceeded to ask me if she could come over and spend the night.  I was pretty good at game back then, but I was kinda inexperienced with relationships.  Basically I was a little over-gamee and figured the way to make her want me more was to DENY her coming to see me.  Sometimes game is great, other times it can kill any attraction a woman has for you.  But that’s why we go out and practice this stuff.  So I told her, “no..  I can’t tonight.”

Well, soon things were done.  The attraction was over, she stopped calling me and I couldn’t even get her out on a date.   This was a girl who just got done exclaiming to me how much she really liked me, and now she wasn’t even interested.  How did that happen?

It’s because when she asked to come over, she opened that window for me to take things to the next level.  I didn’t bite.  That was her spontaneous self expressing, “Hey, I like you, let’s make this something more.”  And to her, MY self said, “No, I’m not interested. Sorry…”  Even though that’s not really what I said, she took it that way, and there was no going back.  Window opened and closed – never to open again.

Another time I was with a girl.  I fucked her at her house.  I REALLY liked this girl too.  It was the third time we got together.  She asked me to spend the night.  I had an old dog at that time, and I loved him.  And I knew he was on his last legs, and I worked all the fucking time so I wanted to be there for him as much as possible.  I didn’t want him to be alone at night.  So i couldn’t stay the night.  I told her this exact reason. 

A couple days later she texted me she had a lot going on and couldn’t see me anymore.  She opened that, “Let’s take things further” window and I failed to step through.  She didn’t hear anything about a dog.  She SPONTANEOUSLY FELT that MOMENT, Opened the window and I failed to step through, so that window CLOSED never to open again.

I never saw that girl again.

Recently I was dealing with some health issues.  I had a girl who I just closed, and she also started to like me.  She called me one day after I talked to her on the phone and told me she wanted to come see me after work.  Because my health issues were fucking me up, I didn’t call her back.  Guess what?  Same story.  She sort of disappeared off the map.  When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS urge to reach out and take things to the next level, she opened that WINDOW and I failed to step through, never to have that window open again.

A long time ago I was with a girl and was escalating.  She was resisting a little.  But then we had a nice It’s On Moment in a book store (in the children’s section of all places lol) where we started making out.  She said, “Weren’t you saying something about going back to your place?”  I decided to PUSHwhen I should have PULLED and said something like, “Maybe…  We’ll see what happens.”  And guess what?  We never ended up back at my place.  When I tried to pull her back later she said it was getting late and that she had to work the next day.  I never ended up fucking her.  When that SPONTANEOUS window opened, I didn’t step through and it closed FOREVER.

Same thing happened to a Wingman of mine who opened a chick in daygame.  She was clearly giving him the signal that if he would have escalated they would have probably had sex.  I left them hinting that I wanted to let them be isolated, but within 5 minutes he came over alone.  I told him he could have fucked her, and it totally dawned on him, “Ya.  I could have.”

When he went back to try and re-initiate with the girl he said she acted Weird and unresponsive.  That’s right, you guessed it.  When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS moment and he didn’t take advantage she chalked it up to her imagination, felt that he MUST NOT be the guy she thought he was (incongruence) and when he tried to reopen that window she felt WEIRD about it.

EXAMPLES – Doing it Right!

Once I was on a date with a chick (who to this date still has the record of biggest natural boobs on a chick I had sex with.  Oh how I miss them.)  We were walking from the coffeeshop to the bar next door.  I felt the MOMENT that I should kiss her.  I went, out of the blue, for the kiss.  She DENIED me.  She said she wasn’t ready yet.  However, at the end of the night when I walked her to her car, we started making out hardcore.  Soon she was asking, “Where did you park?  I’ll walk drive you to your car.”  Then she wanted to listen to music I had mentioned earler and asked if I had some in my car…

Anyone with any experience at this game knows what that means… For those of you who don’t (or are just literalists) she wanted to fuck me in my car.  Oh the glory of seeing her laying back on my car seat with those huge boobs out for the first time!  😉

On a date with a girl, who said she wanted a cigarette, but we were only on our FIRST DRINK on our date.  I felt like that was a hint from her to me, because we were just talking about sexuality.  I suggested we go to my place, because she could smoke there and it was only a couple blocks away. She smoked her cigarette and soon she was giving me what I still consider the best blowjob of my life and she had one of the most amazingly clean and yummy vaginae (I still can’t get over the plural of the word vagina). I have ever came across.

A girl was at my place and she said pretty early on, “I am NOT fucking you.”  But she stuck around and kept shit-testing me while we drank some wine.  I kept escalating despite her resistance but she STAYED.  That whole thing was a WINDOW.  She kept it open as long as I was stepping through and within an hour or so she said, “Why don’t you just fuck me already and get it over with.”  If I would have took her resistance at face value and stopped escalating (PS for those of you playing at home, this is not the weird Rapee escalation shit so many feminists are yammering about.  It is simply verbal sparring, touching a little but push pulling, maybe some RJ style escalation patterning, and always giving her the OPTION to leave.  I always sit in a place where the girl has an easy way out.  That shows her subconsciously you are not trying to corner her.  I always sit so she has EASY access to the closest door out, and even in this case when she said, “I’m not fucking you tonight.” I simply replied, “Well I don’t know what you’re doing here then.  If there’s 0% chance of us fucking you may just want to go home so we both don’t waste any time.”

Her response was, “I’m not passing up an opportunity to drink some good wine.”

That was her opening the WINDOW.  It was my job to step through.  

A girl I was serving once back in the day when I was a server, gave me her facebook at my suggestion because I was working and figured it would be too much to get her number while serving her.  (Calibration is a powerful thing.)  Later she sent me a friend request that I accepted.  She lived in Marathon and I lived in Key West.  A couple days later I saw her Status Update on her wall, that was NOT addressed to me or anyone else in particular which said, “Heading to the Keys today to do a little sight seeing.”

I replied to her status, “Must be nice.  I’m working till tonight.”

She replied, “Well maybe I’ll stop by and say Hi when you’re off work.”

MOMENT.  She KNEW on some level what she was going for when she posted her status.  If I saw it or not would have made no difference to her, as an emotional creature.  The fact that I did, However, let her live in that SPONTANEOUS moment she created.  She opened a window I stepped through.  

When she showed up later to say, “Hi.” she was dressed to the 9’s in a summer dress, and done up.  My coworker asked me, “Do you know her?  She’s BEEAAUUTIFFULL!”

And that girl became my Long Term Girl for about 2 years.

I know this is a long post and there are a lot of examples, but this is because this element of game is VERY difficult for guys to learn and many times you will MISS these windows and not realize it until AFTER which is too late.  So, my purpose with these examples is to give your mind an in idea to grab onto so you can really learn something.  This is not something guys out there are teaching about because it takes a LOT of experience to see this kind of thing.

To break it down:

1.  Window Opens.

2.  Guys Steps Through or he doesn’t.

3.  Window closes never to open again.

What side of the window do you want to be on?

Comments, Questions, Concerns?

By the way, if you like this article, man, SHARE it, post it wherever, Tweet it on Twitter or follow me on twitter (or maybe even both), click some of those buttons below the post or give me some love right on here by liking and rating the post.  Gimmee some of that Luuuhhhve! 😉

Until next time!

Zan Perrion’s Notes – A Must Read for Anyone Interested in Seduction or even Dating

I am on a post stealing frenzy finding good shit that has been buried and may never see the light of day again (this is from the blog www.becomingapua.com) – go ahead.  Click on it.  You will see that it no longer exists.  I am simply playing the following card:

But this is all PURE GOLD or I wouldn’t even bother to post this. If you are new or you are medium or even advanced this post it fucking gold. Read it, own it, love it.  Love on it if you want.  I don’t judge. 😉

If you are a man or a woman you will see the value in this post.  It’s written from a guy TO girl perspective, however, I am sure my women readers will get why this is a good post for both guys and dolls.

Enjoi. Some of the stuff in here is well known by many. Some of it is not. But the mindset and the way he says it is why I like it. We should already know this. We DO already know this. But sometimes we forget or we don’t believe it’s true.

So girls, guys, comment on this.  I wanna know if you agree, disagree or have some cool ass additions. ~Ronnie L

Themesong:

Zan Perrion’s Notes

Who doesn’t know Zan Perrion? If you don’t know Zan then you don’t belong in the community. The guy is a modern day Casanova, but he considers himself a modern day Voltaire. Here are his notes on getting women:

Notes: 

    – Why do we hesitate when we see a pretty girl walking towards us. We want to walk up to her and say, “Hi, I’m _____.” Why do we not do that? FEAR OF REJECTION.
    – We are afraid she’ll reject us as a man. We feel she’ll validate our manliness.
    – We’re conditioned. It hurts to approach.
    – We could all draw, sing, etc. when we were four years old. In school we compare ourselves to others that we are not good enough.
    – Everything you want, everything you desire is outside your comfort zone. If it wasn’t, we’d already have it.
    – No matter what the girl says we turn around and say “I’m not tall enough, rich enough . . .? She doesn’t have to reject us. We’ve already rejected ourselves.
    – We allow her to live rent free in our heads. We allow her to dictate our day.
    – We’ve already rejected ourselves, she’s just agreeing.
    – Most girls ask, “What do you do for a living?” to find out what we believe we are.
    – We have the right to say hello to her. We are men. We stand on the earth.
    – When asking girls, they say “Where are all the real men, men who believe who they are?”
    – What kind of girls put men in LJBF (lets just be friends) zone? Trick question, we put ourselves in the LJBF zone. In the way we talk, stand . . .
    – We feel, especially in North America, that we can’t show our sexuality cause it’ll make them uncomfortable.
    – Women are desperate for men who know who they are, what they want, no resumption and how dare we take that away from her.
      5 Categories Women Put Guys In:
      1. Guy is giving me a creepy feeling
      2. Completely indifferent
      3. Guys nice. Friend zone
      4. This guy is potential. Potential relationship
      5. I could jump in bed with this guy
    – He tells a girl right away what he wants, “I’m not like any man you’ve ever met, there is something about you, though I don’t know what it is.”
    – Without neediness/clinginess
    – You have a name and you didn’t think you have the right to talk to a girl?
    – In your direct bloodline your relative carried a sword, and you’re afraid of talking to a girl?
    – Women want men to approach them as sexual creatures.
    – How does a woman know you’re honest? By telling them you’re honest. “I’m not going to just be friends with you, why look at you?”

– Guys who are good with women are cause they are at ease with themselves. We get to choose

    – Opening line isn’t key. It’s approaching. You can never love women if you don’t love yourself. You can manipulate them but not love them.
    – Women will only feel cheated if you misrepresented how long the relationship will be
    – The goal is to have women as friends in your life.
    – NEVER KISS AND TELL, cause it’s respect. You don’t have to worry about your reputation, but she does.
    – The whole concept to him is that if you misrepresent yourself, you’ve cheated her (i.e. buying her affection)
    – If a girl says, “Are you asking me out?” You say, “Of course I am, look at you.”
    – Girls want guys who know what they want.
    – LEAD! NEVER FOLLOW.
    – It’s stating who you are without apology. Stand in your place.
    – All women are your girls. You make that girl shine, cause that’s who you are.
    – If they look hot, it’s a gift to you. Make them feel pretty, and they’ll never forget you
    – Zan never approaches a woman with a goal of getting her on a date, #, etc. His goal is he likes pretty girls, you’re just in the moment with her.
    – A phone # voluntarily given to you will mean she’ll answer
    – Trust the process. The fact you know you’re a man. Cause you have the right
    – Never respond to their challenge. They are fantastic at acting offended. Just say, “What are you talking about?” Laugh it off, play it off.
    – Never dial yourself down. It’s your mission to make them feel beautiful.
    – We are driven by our obligations (i.e. more money)
    – Be pulled through life by a vision of what you want
    – You don’t have to do anything
    – Women like nice guys, cause they are so attentive.
    – They don’t like clinginess of guys.
    – We have no interesting life cause we choose not to. Never let a girl push you backwards.
    – You’ll have women in your life if you believe that and it’s your choice.
    – Decide today who you’re going to be, don’t cheat women out of it. That’s what women want in men.
      Story
      – He mentors guys all over the world. I don’t know how to escalate into sexual mode. He doesn’t do anything cause he’s there from the beginning. Cause he lets them know who he is. She’ll say, “I have a boyfriend”, you say “Of course you do, look at you.”
      – When he talked to an engaged girl he knew she couldn’t go out with him and she knew he couldn’t go out with her, so he said, “I know, but isn’t it fun to think about?: Make her feel pretty and smile. You’ll get girls giving you #’s and begging them cause you make them feel alive.
    – Respect them and have fun.
    – I.e. “You look great in that dress.”
    – Never defend. If she says, why did you leave me to talk to her, say, “Of course, did you look at her!?”

    – Everything you do with a woman should be enormous fun. Smile and wink at everyone.
    – Don’t be aggressive and presumptuous. You have to be sincere. ALWAYS BE HONEST. But always lie, but get caught in the lie. It should be fun, fun for you and her.
    – Women are able to sniff out your motives from afar.
    – Never mask your desires, without presumption.
    – Doesn’t mean you’ll sleep with her, but emit that sexual energy.
    – How do you break up with a girl? He never breaks up with a girl, he’s just not around
      Two Tracks In A Woman’s Mind
      1. Her desire for security, comfort, longevity, safety, children.
      2. Just as valid and just as cirtical to her living. Passion, whirlwind, romance novels.
    – Ideally she wants both tracks from one guy
    – If she just has 1 track, she’ll seek out the 2nd track. It’s nature.
    – Zan is a dreamer. He believes in women, and makes them believe in themselves.
    – Women crave romance novels as much as they crave water and air.
    – Take a woman on an emotional adventure. Cause everything in life is an adventure. It’s the concept of believing in adventure, cause they will too.
    – Start with your intention. You won’t apologize for who you are. You have the right to be who you are.
    – Why is it so important that the interaction is important? The opening line isn’t important. The thing that gives him the most fulfillment is the interaction with every girl. If you make the moment important you will get phone #’s and you will get girls wanting to sleep with you.
    – Every interaction should be sexual though not aggressive.
      Problem
      – we make long term promises on short term emotions
      Job
      – “I’m a treasure hunter, I’m on a mission.”
      – “I give women pleasure”
    – He loves the interaction/chemistry
    – Stand up, be a man, be honest
    – Understand what you want and be honest with her.
    – Lots of compassion for women all the bad things and good things created who you are today. Maybe those bad things, if they never existed, would not make you who you are today. You were attractive enough for me to approach today. You get to choose your steps tomorrow.
    – Choose from this day forward who you are
    – Everything is a choice. I’m not reacting to things that happened in my past. Get rid of the people in your life that drag you down.
    – Delight – If she’s not feeling like a queen. Then I’m not feeling like a King.
    – Grace – Move through life with grace.
    – He doesn’t work to get a girl, he wants girls who delight in life like he does.