Synchrodestiny – Your Excuse to Seduce Without Fear

This is an article I wrote a while back for Cliff’s List, and I figured it was about time I dropped it on my own blog, with the usual tweaks and updates.  This is another one of those articles you’ll probably have to bookmark or revisit because it’s DEEP.

Enjoi…

Synchrodestiny –  Your Excuse to Seduce Without Fear

My life. It has been interesting, tough, had lots of painful shit going on, lots of things I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy that have happened to me.

This is not a sob story though. Because I have also had a lot of cool, kick ass experiences. I went on 4 dates last week, had sex with a new girl, went out with one girl twice, ran into another girl in a grocery store who I got a number from before who I never went out with, but who wants to. My business is doing well. I’m not even really marketing, but since I tend to teach these guys who come to me how to get successful with women, from point A to point F and beyond, I get great feedback. I just talked to Handler who I haven’t seen in a while and he said he had an LTR all winter, for example. The guys who I work with are kicking ass.

I live in Chicago, I have a pretty cool life outside of pickup that I really enjoy.

Life is good!

But the point is that I could have given up long ago, really just said fuck it, life sucks… If I didn’t come across a few books that started teaching me that EVERYTHING that happens is for a purpose.

There is no such thing as coincidence! The good things, the bad things, the seemingly random things… The situations where you are tested and fail. The other times when you are challenged and you succeed. The friends you make. The people who hate you. The girls you make love to, and the ones that call you a creepy fuck. The times when you feel like you are on top of the world. The times when the pain is so bad life feels hopeless.

None of it is coincidence. There is a purpose to all of it.

The 2 things we will focus on in this topic:

1. Synchrodestiny
2. Intention

Let’s get into FIRST, a couple interesting specific scientific examples, and then I will help you apply it to your seduction game. If you can learn and apply this concept, approach anxiety does NOT EXIST. There will be a whole myriad of things that you can improve upon in this game by applying this concept I am about to tell you. But first, the mad Science!!

You ever watch a group of sparrows fly?

If you know what I’m talking about you know that a large group of sparrows can fly amazingly fast in a big swarm and seem completely in sync. The whole group of them turns, goes up, down and around super fast, and they don’t crash into each other. Quite the opposite, they move as one.

“How is this happening? There’s not enough time for any exchange of information, so any correlation of activity among the birds must be happening nonlocally.

Physicists have been working for years to discover the properties that guide the movements of birds, and so far they have been unsuccessful. The complexity and absolute precision of the birds’ behavior stumps physical science every time. Engineers have been studying the movement of birds to see if there is a way to discover principles that might translate into solutions for traffic jams.” So far, with all the technology we have at our disposal, they have found it impossible to do.

There was a study done by scientist Rupert Sheldrake where they discovered that dogs knew when their human masters were on their way home. They installed cameras to watch the dogs. The dogs seemed to know when their masters were on their way home. They would move by the door and wait, etc. Even if they took the person to a completely random place at a random time the dogs seemed to know when their master was on the way back.

http://www.sheldrake.org/books-by-rupert-sheldrake/dogs-that-know-when-their-owners-are-coming-home

As most of us learned in science class, the universe is made up of both solid particles and waves. In other words, the chair you are sitting on, or the phone you are holding or the computer you are reading this on, is made up of little atoms that are actually NOT solid. They are forms of energy. But why are they solid to us? How can I sit in a chair that is made up of small particles of energy that are not solid?

But even more interesting is the waves. When they study the particles in a wave packet (measurement of a wave) there were two questions asked that had interesting results.

Where is it? What is its momentum?

Scientists discovered you can ask ONE but NOT BOTH of these questions.

Where is it fixes the wave particle to one spot. It becomes a PARTICLE.

What is its momentum? Movement becomes the critical factor so it is no longer a particle, it is a WAVE.

It depends on the question you ask as to whether it is a particle or a wave. It is the intention you have that determines what it is. This goes deeper, even to the point where Albert Einstein studied this, but you look that shit up on your own. I don’t want to bore most of the readers with scientific jargon. But understanding this stuff may shed some light on what I’m talking about.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wave–particle_duality

But let’s get even deeper with one last example. A scientist had swabbed his mouth and put the swab under a microscope. He was watching the cells that were no longer a part of his body. He was going to make a small incision in his finger with a scalpel and study the cells. He discovered that, even by going to get the scalpel, without even cutting himself, that the cells under the microscope were already acting erratically where they were not before. In other words, these cells, no longer attached to his body, were still worried that the body was going to be cut. Just the INTENTION affected them.

http://www.thesoundofsoul.com/?page_id=166

That same guy studied the cells of a guy who was looking at a naked pic of Bo Derek in Playboy. Even though the guys reading it said, “I don’t think she’s a 10,” his cells were bouncing all over. When the magazine was closed they stopped.

If you read and study up on a lot of this stuff you will start to see my point and that is that MANY things that happen in everyday life are not just surface level but they are happening on a VERY DEEP ASS level. So deep that we cannot even comprehend what the hell is going on behind the scenes.

Some have even suggested crazy shit like a butterfly beating its wings in Texas that causes a typhoon a week or so later in japan.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butterfly_effect

1 more!

“There is a fascinating phenomenon in science known as the “multiples effect.” The multiples effect is when multiple people geographically isolated from one another come up with the exact same discovery at the exact same time. By 1922 there had been 148 major scientific breakthroughs identified to have been discovered in such a way. Here are just a FEW examples:

– Evolution (Darwin and Wallace)
– Calculus (Newton and Leibniz)
– Decimal fractions – 3 people
– Sunspots – 4 people in 1611
– Law of conservation of energy – 4 people in 1847
– Steamboat – 4 people
– Telescope – 9 people
– Thermometer – 6 people

Is it really possible that all 148 major discoveries happened at the exact same time coincidentally by people who were not sharing their ideas with each other?”

http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/scientific-proof-that-our-minds-are-all-connected-the-multiples-effect/

There are studies that suggest we are all connected on a deeper level, too. You can simply Google “we are all connected” to delve into that.

So check this out…

What if you, reading this right now, are part of a greater plan? What if you learning Seduction is for more reasons you can even fathom? What if your intention to become better with women is part of a grander scheme of things that go beyond you?

Everything that happens has a greater purpose.

Let’s talk about that.

Say you get up with the INTENTION of sarging. Your intention is to go out and meet women. You take a shower at a certain time, you get ready, put on clothes. You pick a destination and even a time you will go to that destination. Even if it’s loosely based, you still have the intention of doing so and are taking time out of your day to do so.

What if… just what if, life was taking place at a deeper level? So let’s say you get there, to wherever it is you decided to go. You see a girl you like. Your brain says to you, “Go talk to her…” What if you knew on a deep level that all of that was meant to happen?

Not that your brain was telling you to go talk to her because you should be afraid and have anxiety. But what if you were part of something on a WAY deeper level than you realized and you were SUPPOSED to go talk to that girl, and that she was supposed to interact with you?

I’m saying, what if life was happening? Your intention to go meet a woman, and her intention to do whatever it was she had decided to do that day – what if those things were happening on some universal level to give you to the opportunity to interact with each other?

Sure, you could choose not to talk to her. Particle or wave. But what if her being there was life’s gift to you for your intention? It may be to meet her, have a cool time, make a good friend, and even possibly fuck her. Or it could be for you to LEARN something. It might even be for you to TEACH something. Maybe it’s so you take 1 minute out of her day for her to tell you, “Fuck off, creep!” but that 1 minute saved her from crossing an intersection somewhere and getting hit by a bus. Or maybe she feels bad 10 minutes later, wonders why she had that reaction, and is inspired to do something good that she might not have done.

There are millions of different possibilities.

Maybe you would like a visual example:

Run Lola Run. This is a GREAT movie everyone should watch in their life. But watch this scene with the guy on the bike and then the flash forward of what happens. Later in the movie she makes a different choice and something different happens. But I’m not one for spoilers and this is a GREAT movie so… Watch it yourself.

But what if the intentions we have and the decisions we make have a profound effect on the things around us? And not only that, but what if they are also part of a huge, deep, complicated ORDER out of the seemingly chaotic world we live in?

What if, you not approaching that girl is like slapping life in the face?

What if you not escalating, because you are afraid to fail, is like not living the gift that life has given you?

What if you go and get blown out 10 times in a row, but you learn something you don’t even realize you learned? Or maybe life was just testing you to see how you would handle it?

Because I know there are days where I go out and blow out after blow out after blow out happen, and then the very next day I do ONE approach and end up sleeping with that girl.

It happens. It just happened to me last week with a girl I had sex with last week. I can go into detail but it’s a whole other report:

https://librachronicles.wordpress.com/2014/06/20/lr-hb-creole-legs/

I had been out for a couple days before that with nothing sticking, and boom, I meet a chick and we have sex a couple days later. This is pretty common for me.

What if, even further, your intention to be good at seduction alone is enough? What I mean is, because just by writing that I realize that seeing the women I hook up with is NOT ALWAYS when I plan on meeting them. I might be doing something completely random. Maybe I’m in a grocery store to grab some food and I see a girl looking at lettuce. The 2 choices are, particle or wave… I could let her be there, because the mind says, in this order:

1. She’s cute. Go talk to her.
2. No. I’m shopping right now. I need to get food.

But what if you just assumed she was there, at that moment, so you could meet her? Then you wouldn’t be afraid to approach her. In other words, you went to the store at X time to Y place and walked down Z isle, not because of random chance, but because THAT girl was going to be there at THAT specific time so that YOU could have an opportunity to interact with you and SHE could have an opportunity to interact with you.

Are you following me?

There is no coincidence. Not in my life. Every single thing that happens; good, bad, ugly; I feel there is a greater reason for. If we can begin to look at life around us as something we are supposed to take part of, not this old, scared APART mentality that the community has that, “Approaching is scary because when we were cavemen you could get killed if you approached the wrong girl…” By the way, I completely disagree with that. I think it’s as simple as our egos. Our egos think we are amazing creatures and by going and talking to a girl, and her rejecting us, then it “proves” that we aren’t as awesome as we thought were, and that’s a scary thing.

But what if the difference between that Tribal Leader who was fucking all the cave woman bitches, and the rest of the guys who were getting sloppy seconds OR who were not getting any, was simply that Tribal Leader guy was more apt to ACT upon the situations life gave him. Maybe instead of thinking that life was making things difficult, scary or whatever – he took it all as life giving him a gift or OPPORTUNITY, whether that be for material gain, to learn something new, to do one of a million possible things, but at least take it as a gift to ACT upon?

So I’m saying, when you see these girls from now on, start telling yourself she is there for you to interact with on some level. Start trying to see the connections around you. By the way, I can tell you now that once you get good at looking at life like this, you will start to get MAD perceptive abilities. You will start to see things before they happen. At first you won’t realize it. Something will happen and you’ll be like, “Oh, I knew that was gonna happen.” Maybe that happens to you now a little from time to time.

The KEY of this, by the way, is not to think MORE. It is to think LESS. Don’t try and think, just be.

Cute girl. Go talk. Done.

Not, Cute girl, oh but maybe she’s waiting for someone, besides I’m really thirsty and need some water, oh and she might reject me anyway, and besides we’re at a bus stop, and I’m dressed like shit….

Because if you assumed that ALL of that (those excuses) were actually part of a greater plan that, try as you might, you couldn’t begin to understand then none of those things could hold you back.

She’s waiting for someone, I’m thirsty, might reject you, at a bus stop, dressed like shit now becomes – “Well, life knew that shit was gonna be all in place anyway so THINGS ARE, AS EXACTLY AS THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THIS MOMENT. Time to go talk to that beautiful girl.

When you get all locked up with things like KINO, or ESCALATION or, WHAT TO SAY NEXT, or the 100 other sticking points that are caused by fear…maybe you can tell yourself that this is supposed to be this way. I can go ahead and escalate because I’m supposed to at least try. That’s why I’m here. If it works or it doesn’t, it was supposed to be that way. I embraced life.

Can you dig it?

Your intention + No such thing as coincidence + You seeing that cute girl = Life’s gift to you.

Make sense?..

RL

SIDECAR:

You wanna see this shit in Action?  There’s this scene that illustrates exactly my thought process of how this all works in one of my Favorite Movies, Le Fabuleux Destin d’Amélie Poulain.

She seems to be aware and tapped into this concept the whole movie which is one of the 100 reasons I love this work of art.  Check this clip out.

SIDECAR II:

I’ve been having AMAZING results with my new E-Course.

Basically, man, I have been having guys telling me it is doing their lives a complete 180.  I have especially geared it for people who have Social Anxiety, Depression, and many other things I had to deal with myself when I first got into this game.  This is not a joke.  This is over 10 years of research, trial, error and success from someone who was more fucked up than you are now, by FAR, when I first started.  (I will write about that soon, I promise.)

Ecourse 1 Ecourse 2

Anyway, there are 2 tiers we can work with.  JUST the inner game stuff?  OR a combination of Inner game and a PICKUP Skills as well.  I like to say we do this for a month of Mentoring but honestly, I’m an “in the moment” type guys so I tend to lose track of time anyway…  As usual this is mostly custom tailored to what you are dealing with specifically.

Tier 1:  Inner Game Course: $500 for 1 month of mentoring over email/fb/skype.

Tier 2:  Inner and Outer Game Course: $1000 for 1 month of mentoring over email/fb/skype.

I suck at marketing so I don’t have a fancy email list or squeeze-page or any of that shit.  If you are interested, just email me and we can set up a FREE consultation.

Ronnie.libradating@gmail.com

OR you can hit me up on FB:

https://www.facebook.com/ronnielibra

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Step Through That Window – How to Skyrocket Your Success With Dating and Relationships

So I got into a little discussion on twitter.  There is an article about a study that was done by @Single_N_Dating  that suggests that:

Jun 24

: Our study says on a will keep u from forming a

This inspired me to write a LONG thought about article that will be SUPER POWERFUL for guys at intermediate to advanced level if they can learn to take advantage of what I am about to share here.  This is NOT something that I think anyone else out there is really talking about, and has come from a LOT of time in field and having a LOT of successful as well as unsuccessful interactions.

In reference to the twitter comment above: Since I think relationships are not really well known or talked about (just like getting sexual) by most “Guru’s” in the Pickup and Seduction community, probably because it’s not something most of them have a lot of actual experience with (that’s another story – and the same reason, IMO so many of them don’t really discuss getting sexual that often – not to bag on all the guys coaching or teaching this stuff, there are some guys (albeit very few) who have some GREAT stuff that teaches getting sexual – I have reblogged a few of them in the past. Will list some at the bottom for your perusal.) I have been inspired to share this with you – since this post is both powerful for creating relationships AS WELL AS helping you escalate ANY PART of the interaction to the next level.

So let’s get into it with some EXAMPLES of MISSING the WINDOWS:

The first time I remember noticing this was once after I had an awesome 3 days with a burlesque dancer, and she called me telling me how she really liked me; “I REALLLLY Like you…” she said over the phone.  Then she proceeded to ask me if she could come over and spend the night.  I was pretty good at game back then, but I was kinda inexperienced with relationships.  Basically I was a little over-gamee and figured the way to make her want me more was to DENY her coming to see me.  Sometimes game is great, other times it can kill any attraction a woman has for you.  But that’s why we go out and practice this stuff.  So I told her, “no..  I can’t tonight.”

Well, soon things were done.  The attraction was over, she stopped calling me and I couldn’t even get her out on a date.   This was a girl who just got done exclaiming to me how much she really liked me, and now she wasn’t even interested.  How did that happen?

It’s because when she asked to come over, she opened that window for me to take things to the next level.  I didn’t bite.  That was her spontaneous self expressing, “Hey, I like you, let’s make this something more.”  And to her, MY self said, “No, I’m not interested. Sorry…”  Even though that’s not really what I said, she took it that way, and there was no going back.  Window opened and closed – never to open again.

Another time I was with a girl.  I fucked her at her house.  I REALLY liked this girl too.  It was the third time we got together.  She asked me to spend the night.  I had an old dog at that time, and I loved him.  And I knew he was on his last legs, and I worked all the fucking time so I wanted to be there for him as much as possible.  I didn’t want him to be alone at night.  So i couldn’t stay the night.  I told her this exact reason. 

A couple days later she texted me she had a lot going on and couldn’t see me anymore.  She opened that, “Let’s take things further” window and I failed to step through.  She didn’t hear anything about a dog.  She SPONTANEOUSLY FELT that MOMENT, Opened the window and I failed to step through, so that window CLOSED never to open again.

I never saw that girl again.

Recently I was dealing with some health issues.  I had a girl who I just closed, and she also started to like me.  She called me one day after I talked to her on the phone and told me she wanted to come see me after work.  Because my health issues were fucking me up, I didn’t call her back.  Guess what?  Same story.  She sort of disappeared off the map.  When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS urge to reach out and take things to the next level, she opened that WINDOW and I failed to step through, never to have that window open again.

A long time ago I was with a girl and was escalating.  She was resisting a little.  But then we had a nice It’s On Moment in a book store (in the children’s section of all places lol) where we started making out.  She said, “Weren’t you saying something about going back to your place?”  I decided to PUSHwhen I should have PULLED and said something like, “Maybe…  We’ll see what happens.”  And guess what?  We never ended up back at my place.  When I tried to pull her back later she said it was getting late and that she had to work the next day.  I never ended up fucking her.  When that SPONTANEOUS window opened, I didn’t step through and it closed FOREVER.

Same thing happened to a Wingman of mine who opened a chick in daygame.  She was clearly giving him the signal that if he would have escalated they would have probably had sex.  I left them hinting that I wanted to let them be isolated, but within 5 minutes he came over alone.  I told him he could have fucked her, and it totally dawned on him, “Ya.  I could have.”

When he went back to try and re-initiate with the girl he said she acted Weird and unresponsive.  That’s right, you guessed it.  When she FELT that SPONTANEOUS moment and he didn’t take advantage she chalked it up to her imagination, felt that he MUST NOT be the guy she thought he was (incongruence) and when he tried to reopen that window she felt WEIRD about it.

EXAMPLES – Doing it Right!

Once I was on a date with a chick (who to this date still has the record of biggest natural boobs on a chick I had sex with.  Oh how I miss them.)  We were walking from the coffeeshop to the bar next door.  I felt the MOMENT that I should kiss her.  I went, out of the blue, for the kiss.  She DENIED me.  She said she wasn’t ready yet.  However, at the end of the night when I walked her to her car, we started making out hardcore.  Soon she was asking, “Where did you park?  I’ll walk drive you to your car.”  Then she wanted to listen to music I had mentioned earler and asked if I had some in my car…

Anyone with any experience at this game knows what that means… For those of you who don’t (or are just literalists) she wanted to fuck me in my car.  Oh the glory of seeing her laying back on my car seat with those huge boobs out for the first time!  😉

On a date with a girl, who said she wanted a cigarette, but we were only on our FIRST DRINK on our date.  I felt like that was a hint from her to me, because we were just talking about sexuality.  I suggested we go to my place, because she could smoke there and it was only a couple blocks away. She smoked her cigarette and soon she was giving me what I still consider the best blowjob of my life and she had one of the most amazingly clean and yummy vaginae (I still can’t get over the plural of the word vagina). I have ever came across.

A girl was at my place and she said pretty early on, “I am NOT fucking you.”  But she stuck around and kept shit-testing me while we drank some wine.  I kept escalating despite her resistance but she STAYED.  That whole thing was a WINDOW.  She kept it open as long as I was stepping through and within an hour or so she said, “Why don’t you just fuck me already and get it over with.”  If I would have took her resistance at face value and stopped escalating (PS for those of you playing at home, this is not the weird Rapee escalation shit so many feminists are yammering about.  It is simply verbal sparring, touching a little but push pulling, maybe some RJ style escalation patterning, and always giving her the OPTION to leave.  I always sit in a place where the girl has an easy way out.  That shows her subconsciously you are not trying to corner her.  I always sit so she has EASY access to the closest door out, and even in this case when she said, “I’m not fucking you tonight.” I simply replied, “Well I don’t know what you’re doing here then.  If there’s 0% chance of us fucking you may just want to go home so we both don’t waste any time.”

Her response was, “I’m not passing up an opportunity to drink some good wine.”

That was her opening the WINDOW.  It was my job to step through.  

A girl I was serving once back in the day when I was a server, gave me her facebook at my suggestion because I was working and figured it would be too much to get her number while serving her.  (Calibration is a powerful thing.)  Later she sent me a friend request that I accepted.  She lived in Marathon and I lived in Key West.  A couple days later I saw her Status Update on her wall, that was NOT addressed to me or anyone else in particular which said, “Heading to the Keys today to do a little sight seeing.”

I replied to her status, “Must be nice.  I’m working till tonight.”

She replied, “Well maybe I’ll stop by and say Hi when you’re off work.”

MOMENT.  She KNEW on some level what she was going for when she posted her status.  If I saw it or not would have made no difference to her, as an emotional creature.  The fact that I did, However, let her live in that SPONTANEOUS moment she created.  She opened a window I stepped through.  

When she showed up later to say, “Hi.” she was dressed to the 9’s in a summer dress, and done up.  My coworker asked me, “Do you know her?  She’s BEEAAUUTIFFULL!”

And that girl became my Long Term Girl for about 2 years.

I know this is a long post and there are a lot of examples, but this is because this element of game is VERY difficult for guys to learn and many times you will MISS these windows and not realize it until AFTER which is too late.  So, my purpose with these examples is to give your mind an in idea to grab onto so you can really learn something.  This is not something guys out there are teaching about because it takes a LOT of experience to see this kind of thing.

To break it down:

1.  Window Opens.

2.  Guys Steps Through or he doesn’t.

3.  Window closes never to open again.

What side of the window do you want to be on?

Comments, Questions, Concerns?

By the way, if you like this article, man, SHARE it, post it wherever, Tweet it on Twitter or follow me on twitter (or maybe even both), click some of those buttons below the post or give me some love right on here by liking and rating the post.  Gimmee some of that Luuuhhhve! 😉

Until next time!

Peter Grimm: Myths and Truths about Pickup

Hey there, I just wanted to introduce you to a long time friend and great wingman of mine named Peter Grimm.  He recently wrote a great post filled with some basic as well as advanced concepts.  As you guys know I like my discussions about Seduction  or Dating to be FIELD TESTED advice, and Peter brings a LOT of experience as well as success to the table.  I am excited about this post and I know you’re both find it a fun and informative read.

Here we go!

Peter Grimm: Myths and Truths about Pickup

First, let me introduce myself.  My name is Peter Grimm, I’m a good friend of Ronnie’s and was asked to join this group to lend a hand and help bring along some of the new guys who want to experience as much success with women as possible.

First, let me say, I applaud you guys for taking that leap – for dedicating yourselves, for putting yourselves and your egos out there for the sole purpose of grabbing life by the balls and getting the absolute most out of it.  I wish you all the success in the world and I sincerely hope that my experiences can help you speed up your growth and get you to where you want to be as quickly and painlessly as possible.

About me:  I’m nothing special.  I don’t have a silver tongue.  In fact, I’m a pretty quiet, introverted and reserved guy for the most part.  I’m not the center-of-attention pickup type you normally associate with this sort of thing.  I’m not rich either.  I don’t have a flashy job.  I’m a middle manager at an oil company, and my job bores women to tears.

That said, I have had quite a bit of success with women in my lifetime, particularly in the last couple years.  I lost track, but I believe my “count,” if you want to call it that, is somewhere around 200 women at the moment.  A good number of them are quite beautiful.  I am currently sleeping with seven beautiful women…. I would characterize it as I have that part of my life handled.

I don’t say any of that to brag, but rather to encourage you readers – I want you to know that if you really put your mind toward your goal of getting better with women, that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel and that you WILL find the success you are looking for.

How I did it was mainly trial and error.  I joined the Dallas Lair in 2008, and I was your typical newbie from that era running around with leather wrist cuffs, feather boas, bedazzled tshirts and 52 rings on my fingers, using canned openers straight out of The Game (hint: you don’t need that stuff).  I read everything under the sun, I took a couple bootcamps, and I went out constantly.  Like 4/5 days a week for a couple years.  I got better and eventually moderated the dallas lair for a little while, then I got burned out from lairs, got in and out of a couple serious relationships, and did my own thing for a while (still going out every weekend).

Anyway, enough about me.  Im gonna go ahead and post this, and below, I will do a writeup of my general thoughts about pickup and how I believe you should structure your learning in order to get good as fast as humanly possible, so you can start enjoying the success you deserve.

Where to begin. 

First of all, what you should know about pickup is that it’s EASY.  There is so much material and advice out there, one can easily get overwhelmed, but it shouldn’t be that way.  When you really break it down, the fundamentals and principles of meeting and sleeping with women (and everything between and after) are NOT complicated and can be easily understood by everyone.

Second, pickup is FUN.  Never lose sight of that.  Never view this as a job or a chore, you’re trying to get your rocks off… it’s not that serious, and it’s not the end of the world if you get blown out every now and then.  This is part of your life, a diversion, it’s not your WHOLE life.

Alright, now let’s get to some meat and potatoes.

Keep in mind that everything I post below is MY OPINION.  Based on MY EXPERIENCES.  It’s not gospel, and there are many ways to skin a cat.  If anyone disagrees with anything I write, that’s fine…. what works for me works for me…. but ultimately you each need to decide for yourselves what your beliefs and philosophies are going to be.

1.)  Myth #1:  Looks don’t matter.

You read this in almost every pickup book you’ll ever buy.  Sorry to burst your bubble, but this one is bullshit.  Looks absolutely do make a difference.  You’re just going to have to learn to accept that reality.  That’s not to say that ugly guys can’t get girls, or even hot girls, but the good looking guy is going to have a lot more chances.  Let me put it to you this way, using a baseball analogy.  An average guy is going to get three strikes before he’s out.  An ugly guy might get one.  A good looking guy will get many more chances to fuck up because the girl wants him to succeed.

Now if you’re thinking about getting discouraged…. DON’T.  Understand that what I mean by “looks” are 80% within your control.  Probably the biggest thing you can do to improve your game RIGHT NOW, which is why I put looks at #1 on my list, is IMPROVE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE.

Bold text alert:  THE SINGLE BIGGEST THING YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE YOUR GAME TODAY, RIGHT NOW, IS TO IMPROVE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE.

Let that sink in and marinate.  And I don’t just mean the basics like stand up straight and don’t lean in.  That stuff is important too, but understand that body language is more important than the words that come out of your mouth.

To improve in that area…. practice, practice, practice.  Work on holding good, confident eye contact.  Work on getting rid of that nervous laugh, any nervous ticks, work on moving slowly and confidently.  Mimic actors… that might be the single best way to improve in this area.  Read books on the subject.  In other words, take the study seriously and dedicate time to it, it will pay dividends big time.

Work on your voice.  This one is simple, the deeper, louder, and less shrill your voice is, the more pussy you will slay.  So be mindful of it.  Take voice lessons if you need them.

Aside from body language, get to work on your body.  Eat right, and get your ass in the gym.  Nobody likes busting their ass in the gym but he who works hard plays hard.  It will make a difference with your well-being, and it will certainly make a difference with your success with women.  I’ll leave it at that.

Finally, dress to impress.  I find a marked difference in my success with women just based on how I dress that particular day.  Learn what fabrics and colors look good on you, find your own style, etc.  Again, there are a million different resources out there on how to dress nicely so I won’t go in to it now (if you want me to recommend some, just ask), but this one should be obvious:  pick up a woman’s magazine, and you’ll quickly realize how much clothing matters in the world of women.  It’s how they judge each other, and it’s how they’ll judge you.  It’s how you present yourself to the world, of course it matters.  It’s so easy to do this one right, to set yourself apart from 90% of men out there who dress downright sloppy and without any thought or effort… so just make up your mind to do it and reap the benefits.

To sum up:  I think physical game (looks, dress, body language, voice) account for easily over half of your success with women.  My personal view is that if you can get your physical game 100% down tight, which is just a matter of effort more than anything, then game from that point on becomes about JUST NOT FUCKING UP.

That’s right.  It’s not about dazzling her with your creative stories, your witty one-liners, your practiced openings…. if you get your physical game down tight you don’t need to do anything… everything else becomes a simple question of 1.) not falling in to newbie traps and 2.) Simple logistics.

2.)  Myth #2:  You need good openers to succeed in pickup.

Nope.  99% of women don’t even remember what you opened them with.  Here’s how this whole thing works.  When you open your mouth to begin talking to a woman, she automatically begins assessing you as a potential mate.  This is just automatic.  She’s checking boxes subconsciously in her head.

So the whole idea that you need some “excuse” to talk to her is contrary to basic biology and it puts you in a defensive state of mind, which is not attractive nor is it beneficial to you.

I only open women two ways:  1.)  Situational openers or 2.) Direct openers.  I personally prefer direct, but situational is more socially normal so it just happens more naturally at times (however, bear in mind that it’s always implied, even when you open situationally, that since she is a woman and you are a man, you are feeling each other out as potential partners.)

3.)  Myth #3….. picking up girls at bars is creepy/weird

It isn’t.  You’re a man, you’re attracted to women, it’s biology and it’s perfectly normal and never apologize for being attracted to a girl.

A word on “creepy.”  What is “creepy,” anyway?  You hear this from girls all the time when they’re talking about a guy they don’t like, “oh he’s creepy.”  What does that mean?

Creepy for a woman is a guy who is nervous, who hides his intentions.  The creepy guy leers and stares at the girl but doesn’t work up the courage to talk to her, or he mumbles and skirts around what he really wants, so that she’s left feeling afraid.

We fear what we don’t understand.  Make yourself easy to understand to women, and women won’t fear you, and you won’t creep them out.

So if you notice a hot girl and the thought that runs through your head is “my, what a hot girl,” then your next reaction should be to go up to her and say “I thought you looked really good and I wanted to come say hello.”  Do not use an indirect opener in this situation because she will sense the incongruency, that will cause anxiety, and it’s not productive for you.

Myth #4:  Negs don’t work. 

In the early days of the PUA community, negs were all the rage.  Then a school of thought came around that said negs are useless, you don’t need them, don’t bother incorporating them in to your game.

Well I’m here to tell you, and again this is my opinion, that negs absolutely do work, I don’t know where that contrarian school of thought came from, but yes they work and yes you should incorporate them in to your game.

And that brings us to the subject of validation:  one of the most important concepts in pickup and one that you should master in its entirety.

YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO SLEEP WITH A GIRL WHO ISN’T ACTIVELY TRYING TO PROVE HERSELF TO YOU.

Let that sink in, because it’s important.

In nearly every interaction between two people, one person is trying to validate themselves to another.  You need to remember two things:   a.) NEVER validate yourself to a woman and b.) ALWAYS be sure that she’s trying to validate herself to you.

This goes back to what I wrote about game being all about not fucking up:  If you start validating yourself to a woman, you can be Brad Pitt, but you’re not going to get laid.  NEVER, NEVER do it.

So there are two ways you can make a woman validate herself to you, which will ramp up her attraction toward you better than anything else I know….

a.)  neg her  (these should be subtle and NOT seen as insults.  Again, there are a lot of materials out there on how to properly neg so I won’t get in to it here.)   b.)  qualify her  (basically, give her a compliment to the tune of “I like how you XYZ, you’re different from other girls, most girls are completely not like that.”)

Use these and profit.

Myth #5:  You have to be the alpha male, center of attention, all the time.

Nope.  You don’t.  As long as she’s validating herself to you, then you’re more alpha than her, and that’s all you need for the emotional chemistry to work and for you to get some.

Every PUA goes through the “I must be more alpha than everyone, AMOG everyone, hand on the shoulder” stage in their career.  Shit, I was that guy for a while.  While it doesn’t hurt to be the leader, it certainly isn’t the end of the world if you aren’t.  Focus on the nuances of validation instead, that will get you a lot further in my opinion.

It won’t kill you with women if you’re a bossy asshole…that’s not what you’re being evaluated on… but your friendships might suffer.  Just a thought.

Myth #6:  The comfort stage is just about talking about yourself, I don’t need to study it.

Wrong!!  Game is won or lost in the comfort stage, I can’t stress that enough.  I don’t often recommend or push products, but one I can really recommend for this is Kezia Noble has a DVD about comfort… I can’t remember what it’s called now but it really breaks down what you need to do better than anything else I can remember reading.

In a nutshell, that stage of the game isn’t about talking about you.  It’s about getting her to open up about herself at a very deep level.  You want to get good at asking the right questions that will help you understand the thoughts and beliefs that make her who she is.

That’s the ultimate goal.  It’s not about you expressing yourself, it’s about you focusing your attention on her and helping her to express her belief system to you.