One of the Most Concerning Epidemics Amongst Young Women Today!

I have discovered a growing epidemic amongst young women today.  This epidemic is growing at staggering proportions and is creating concern against guys like me.   It is that more and more women, in staggering numbers, are having their phones destroyed by dropping them in the toilet.  I just read an email from a girl I have been chatting with, whom I gave my number to.  She said, and I quote:

I was planning on texting you but my phone met an untimely death. It rests in a watery grave  (ie the toilet).

Now my question to this statement is, “How come so many women drop their phones in the toilet?  What the fuck rare you ladies doing in there with your phones?  Do guys know that you are doing this?”  I kind of think it takes a lot of effort to drop ones phone into the toilet, unless the phone is dangerously close to the open bowl for some mysterious and unknown reason, which prompts me to ask, “Do I want to know what that reason could be?”

"Cell phone in the toilet!" @ Nat's Adventures

All sorts of visuals come to mind of how these phones could meet their watery demise at the hands of these women and some random toilet bowl somewhere.  This should be a growing concern among Americans everywhere.  I think, perhaps, someone should try and develop an “Aqua” app that is designed so that when a woman’s phone is dropped into the toilet, it transforms the phone into a mini-submarine until the phone can be safely retrieved.

Better yet, I think cell-phone companies should start adding a secret video camera app to phones, that is triggered when a woman’s phone gets too close to a toilet bowl.  It would start recording the events that lead up to the phone ending up in the toilet bowl, and send them to a database for a specialized panel of experts to research and investigate.  That way we can put an end to this senseless epidemic plaguing our nation.

Beware!  Be Vigilant and be on the lookout!

Ohhhh Yeah! Blog Me Baby!

So here’s where I give some loving to those who love me first.  If you kiss me then I kiss you back.  😉

I noticed in the last month that not 1 but 2 people have reblogged my posts.  It’s funny too because sometimes I write shit and I’m thinking, “This is SHIT!  Who’s gonna actually even read this garbage?” and then someone comes along and BAM!  They not only like my post, but they like it enough to take the responsibility of posting it on their own blog… 😉

That being said, this post is not about me, (well not directly anyway.) this is about those brave souls who decided to spread me some love, opening up their blog to me so that I could penetrate deep into their reader’s thoughts with my sometimes long and stiff writing, despite how hard I may be on it from time to time.  (Ok… enough…)

So first up we have sweetopiagirl from her blog Inspiredweightloss who reblogged my post Sleep Fucking Apnea.  Her blog is about empowering women to lose those extra pounds and get in shape!  That’s right!  (Yes, I am aware that women like reading my blog.  Another blogger and I talk about how many women most likely read my blog, especially the seduction stuff, though they might never admit it 😉  )  Now here is a little quote from her blog (what better words than her own to describe the awesomeness of her blog?) from the section About My Weight Loss Blog:

I am here to share my journey and to help other women to succeed at losing weight along with me! We will be sharing our thoughts, ideas and menus that will actually work for us throughout this process. Having tried a gajillion diets, I understand how when we want to lose weight, we tend to look for the answer outside ourselves. We want a magic solution, a secret formula. I use to wish  somebody would just tell me the answer, show me the way. Someone did! But I’ve also learned what Glenda, the good witch, told Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, ” You always had it. You always had the power.” You know the real secret is within you.

Very cool.  If you are trying to lose some of that flab, get over there and check her out for some inspiration.

Next up to bat we have the Hello100blog that decided to repost my article I just wrote (needless to say it is my article that has gotten the most comments so far) What to Get Your Man for Christmas…  What Else?  Trust me when I say, ladies, that you cannot go wrong with the advice I posted in that article.  The Hello100blog seems to be a blog that reposts VERY FUCKING AMAZING blog posts from all over the web.  (I mean, my blog post made it over there so I’m just sayin.) But, you could also learn how to make Russian-style honey-based gingerbread, or read up on a Christmas Poem called Paracelso (and a whole lot more!!!)

Anyway, it was a little exciting for me to see some people breakin me off a piece…  (Of their blog, pervert!)  So I figured I’d share.

By the way, if you haven’t been listening to my Themesong’s of the day, you better start.  There will be a Pop Quiz coming up soon!

Cheers and…

Enjoi


Sidecar:

Long ago, in a time far far away, I was chilling with a chick I had a HUGE crush on.  We went to a Concert at the Shelter, which is the Basement of St. Andrew’s Hall in Downtown Detroit  By the by, this is one of my favorite concert venues EVER!  Now, I’m not sure if it was Veruca Salt or The Breeders but here was the biggest problems with me trying to seduce her; she was a lesbian.  That’s right.  She liked other women, and I just so happen to not be even remotely passable for a female.  But it was going cool, we had a little vibe going on so I wanted to make my move.

I talked to her about how her last girlfriend ended up seducing her.  (By the way, I will post on this later.  Some of the best seduction stuff you can learn is from other women.  Don’t – I repeat – Do NOT confuse that with ADVICE about how to seduce women, because that can be TERRIBLE if it comes from a woman.  We will get into that in another post…)  Anyway, I asked her what happened, I think I even asked specifically, how the first kiss took place.  She told me, “She said to me, ‘If I kiss you will you kiss me back?’ and I looked at her and said, ‘Yes.'”

Needless to say it didn’t take me long to figure out how I could seduce her.  I think it took me another three seconds to look at her in the eyes and say, “If I kiss you will you kiss me back?”  and she said, “Yes.” and It was WONDERFUL.  We then went on the People Mover which is Detroit’s sort of Pseudo train for the city and made out on it while we rode around the city, until a security guard got on and kicked us off.

People Mover @ The Epoch Times

THAT is a memory worth remembering!!  😉

What to Get Your Man for Christmas… What Else??

WOMEN!

There is no better gift you could EVER get your man for the holiday then a Victoria’s Secret Model.

Ok but really, I will tell you straight up, if you have a sex life at all with the man you are currently dating or playing with or seeing or whatever, most definitely you could NEVER go wrong getting some sexy lingerie for him to see you in.  Be that model! 😉

Better yet, here’s my idea from me to you.  Take him with you to shop for lingerie, to your favorite Victoria’s Secret, Frederick’s of Hollywood or whatever place you can think of that sells sexy things for you to wear.  Best of all, DON’T tell him.  Take him to “lunch” or something and then make it a surprise to shop with him.

Tis the Season

You want to see how excited he gets?  I’m telling you.  I love shopping for lingerie, I love seeing her try on different lingerie, I LOVE when we finally pick something I like and I love it even more when she surprises me again very near in the future by wearing it for me.  Look, naked is hot and everything but they didn’t make lingerie for no reason.  Lingerie is a super hot way to wrap your presents and what better time than the holidays.

A couple quick tips:

1.  Make who pays irrelevant.  Don’t assume he will.  Remember this is your gift to him, however if he insists let him do it.  Money should be almost a non-existent point.

2.   Let him pick.  You are wearing it for him.  He knows what he likes (hopefully) and nothing will turn him on more than seeing it on you.

3.  Don’t be afraid to try it on for him in the store and have him look.  The shopping experience is part of the gift, if you do it right.

4.  If you see some other stuff on the side like lotions or toys or whatever that you like, grab one.  Don’t get crazy unless you know you already are and you’ll actually use the stuff you get, but getting a little extra “stocking stuffer” or two is totally encouraged to spice up your egg-noggin’ a little. 😉

Trust me.  If your man doesn’t love this gift then…  Well he’s either gay or ready to be DXd for a newer model.

Enjoi

Sidecar:

I had no intention of posting this post until I came across this ad online on accident and thought to myself, “Yes, this is exactly what I want for Christmas this year.  A hot, sexy woman in Lingerie.”  Figured I’d share the love with a little experience that always makes me hot for a woman in my life.