The Girl From Uruguay

Yeah, yeah, yeah… I said I was going t update this like a week ago I think.  Well, that’s the way the ball bounces G.  I guess, fuckin… I decided JUST NOW to finish part 2 of the Double Penetration Cliffhanger Challenge (I’m Assuming that’s what DPChallenge means) and the problem with that is, I have finished off 3/4 of a bottle of red wine and thus my smartaleckee antics have decided to put down on my fucking blog, meanwhile I listen on pandora to a song by Skinny Puppy

Yeah yeah yeah… Not very seductive I get it.  But now you have WINE Ronnie to deal with for this report.  But in a moment you will have Seductive Ronnie to deal with…

Oh, by the way…  Here are 2 Pandora stations for you people who listen to that song above and LIKED it.  I have a lot of Industrial and Goth in my blood, though I never quite dressed all in black and snorted Ritalin or ate a bunch of Ephedrine all at once.  I just appreciated the dark side of the music.  Oh ya, the stations:

Ahh shit, wait.  I just realized I can’t share them because they are attached to my pics and my real name…  Well, if you really want that shit you’re gonna have to ask me in the comments below and I will email you the links.  My Pandora stations are all badass.  They have been tweaked and tweaked and tweaked – even to the point of sending GOOD songs on the WRONG station to a different station where they do belong (Thank God Pandora added that feature).

Oh ya..  Fucking Tangents.  I remember what we were supposed to be talking about?  The PART II of my story (over to the right! —>

Alright whatever, dude.  Just click this link.

Ok here we go.

The Girl From Uruguay

Postby Geese Howard » December 28th, 2008, 4:34 pm

It’s 7:17 and I had a gnawing feeling that this chick, We’ll call her HBUruguay because she lives there and is visiting some mystery people for the holidays, was gonna flake.  Everytime though I would force-visualise her showing up to train my brain to expect in instead of focusing on the negative.  Here it was almost 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet and she still hadn’t arrived.  No call no text…  Nothing.  Yet here I was still waiting for her to arrive…

I get a text just as I’m about to leave (Louis and Copeland 15 min rule) Java Hutt saying, “Are we still on for tonight?”

Me:  Ya, I just got to Java Hutt so I can chill with my laptop.

The reason I threw the name of the place in the text was so if she was confused she could find me – since she wasn’t from around here these days and I wasn’t sure how long ago it had been since she had been.  It was a good idea since like a minute later she came walking up from across and down the street with a coffee in hand, which told me she went to AJ’s and NOT Java Hutt.  She wasn’t late – just lost. :p

I was outside smoking as she walked up.  I gave her a hug to test and it was pretty stiff.  I busted on her for it, “What was that supposed to be?”

HBUruguay: That was a ‘I’m holding a coffee’ hug.

So we chatted a little and she immediately suggested where SHE wanted to go for drinks.  The thing was, is I had no idea where I wanted to go and lately I’ve been experimenting with the idea of allowing the chicks to suggest a spot.

WHY?  Because I have been finding out some really cool motherfucking day2 spots this way, that I would have never found out about had I not.  Detroit is riddled with little hidden treasures that are not at all out in the open.  Some don’t even make any sense.  Picture a spot in the middle of the ghetto area that on a tuesday night is assholes to elbows busy with rich suburbanites.

Or another example is, where we ended up last night – Baker’s Keyboard Lounge.  Reported to be the World’s OLDEST Jazz Club.  Apparently HBUruguay lived in the Detroit area 5 years ago before she moved with her parents to live in Uruguay to help her ailing father out.  This place is near the corner of 8-Mile and Livernois.  You may have hear of 8-Mile from Eminem’s movie.

So let’s back up a little:
Her:  I want to go to this little Jazz place, but I can’t remember what it’s called.  Bluebirds or something.  On 8-mile.

Me: (I knew the place she was referring to because I have heard several chicks talk about it but had ever been there as of yet.)  All I know is wherever we go they better have Campari.

Her:  I’m pretty sure they do.

Me:  And I’m not sure about the place you’re talking about but I love an adventure.  Here’s the deal (I say that alot) we can go there for 1 drink but unless it’s really awesome… I have a short attention span and like to bounce to different places when I’m out to keep things interesting.

Her:  It’s a really cool Jazz place.  Unless you were think you were gonna say, “I know – let’s go back to my place.”

Me: Yea, Don’t think you’re that lucky.  I’m not just a guy you can have your way with.  You at least have to buy me a drink first.

Her:  Buy YOU a drink?

Me:  Yea, but no promises.  And not saying if you will, but if You were to come back to my place I could show you my Lavish Fireplace and My Library inside of my international art gallery that I live in.

Her:  Is it a real fireplace?

Me:  It would appear that way.

Her:  With real wood logs that actually Burn?

Me:  I mean, it would seem that way.

Her:  That’s what I thought.

(I was referring to a Windows Media Player Visualization called Yule Log on my laptop and using S-Video I plug my laptop into my TV which is HUGE so…   :p  )

Me:  You’re used to getting your way aren’t you.

Her:  Yes.  Actually I am!

Me:  Well I guess we’re fucked, because I am too.  Let’s just shake hands now and go our seperate ways. (bodyrock away then back while extending my hand.) Pleasure meeting you.

She laughed and I think I told her, “Man you look fucking cute tonight.  I love your coat, it’s hypnotic.  You better not be trying to hypnotize me with some weird voodoo love shit.” (using appropriate hand movements and facial expressions – I love hintdropping about what I am to the chicks.)

So I let her drive.  While we were walking I threw a line out when she was talking about the club.

Me:  How do I know you’re not gonna take me somewhere where this guy’s gonna be waiting behind the door to club me in the head with a blackjack, and I’m gonna wake up on some table as part of some weird ritual or whatever?

Her:  You watch too many weird movies.

Me:  It could happen.

So we get to her car and off we go in her nice clean rental.  We arrive at Baker’s Keyboard Lounge after I let her get lost a little so I can neg her.

Me:  Am I gonna make it back home tonight?

I made a couple different comments about her driving but not too much.  As I said in my FR to this LR, I don’t TRY to neg or c&f anymore because really it’s something I naturally will throw into a conversation anyway.  If I try to do it on purpose it gets a little too dicky or even comes across as confrontational.

Also we discussed where she’s from, Uruguay.

She was telling me all about the difference between Uruguay and Paraguay and how much better Uruguay was for some reason and so for the rest of the night whenever the topic came up I would mistake her as being from Paraguay.  For the rest of the night at periods of time we would retouch the subject and I learned some interesting facts; one being that Uruguay is known for having really good Beef, however due to recent droughts their cattle market is suffering a little.  Also, she said there is an Irish Bar in Paraguay – oops – I mean Uruguay  near where she lives.

She also started talking about how Michigan people use the Hand to show people where they live.  I said, “I make fun of people that do that.”

Her:  It makes sense, like if someone lives in the thumb they can point to where they live to show people.

Me:  I think what you mean is people in the Thumb are the ones doing  the hand thing.

The other thing she told me was how this was pretty adventurous for her, and that her friends were saying, “You’re crazy!  You don’t even know this guy!  You only just met him and you’re already going to meet him out somewhere?”  But here she was anyway.  Good old, “Attraction isn’t a choice…”   I played with it a little but I can’t remember what I said.

So we arrive on our second day2 venue.

This place was hoppin.  We got there and it was already packed with excited guests and a full bar with the smell of Soul Food wafting through the air and punching me in the nose in a pleasant way.  Btw, for those of you keeping score at home, she payed for parking and cover for both of us to get in; $13 so far; mainly because I kept the frame, but not too pushy like, that this was her idea so there was no weirdness for her in any way to flip the bill a little.  I tell the hostess, “Give us a table for 2 and a good one.”

She does – we get a seat center stage – I mean dead center.  No band yet because keep in mind the meeting time was 7:15 which means shit don’t start till 9:30 – 10 which give me PLENTY of time to run verbal game.  They got these cool little 2 seater booths which are IDEAL for couples.  I let her slide in first and then slide in next to her and the she shit tests me.

Her:  “What’s with all the crowding me in.”

I look at her funny and get back up while saying, “Well then you sit on the outside and you can have all the room you want.  I like to relax.”  We switch and she sit’s away from me.

We order drinks.  She gets a Bailey’s on the rocks and I order a Negroni  which is 1oz each of Gin, Campari and Sweet Vermouth on the rocks with an orange slice garnish.  They don’t have it so I cue up on something simpler – a Colorado Bulldog which is 1-½ oz Vodka, ½ oz Kahlua, 1-½ oz milk, and a spash of coke on ice in a highball.  I never had one before this but it was really fucking good.

The things I did – Well, let’s see if I can list them out not necessarily in order AT ALL.  I’ll get to that later. (if you wanna know something ASK and I will be happy to give you details.)

+On the fly patterning.
+Incredible Connection
+Wants vs. Craving
+Everyone is so different but the same pattern (more connection)
+Push Pull I.e. “I like you, you’re super fun.  I mean don’t get me wrong you could totally fuck the whole thing up, but SO FAR you’re a pretty cool cat.” (Edit on a Mystery sound bite – in my own words)
+Discovery Channel (open loop, never closed)
+Style’s EV (open loop, never closed)
+Twin Brothers Scenario (open loop, never closed)
+Let’s see if we fit. (Kino gambit from homeboy Sonics)
+Constant Kino (Sonics)
+Kino Escalation with takeaways and fractionation.
+Snoopy Palm Reading (credit – Matt Savior, Juggler instructor)
+Learn to love yourself (My own)
+My first memory (My own)
+Bubbles – Kino routine (My own)
+The breakup and exes (My own)
+My mother told me that I got culture shock when I was really little (sound bite to suggest I’m VERY different)
Are you into PDA?  I love PDA. (sound bite)
+Say more please. (sound bite/compliance – Ross Jeffries)
+We’re only here for 20,000 days (sound bite)
+That’s all you get.
+The best you can hope for is Amazing company and Great conversation.
+TV Commercial (sound bite – Ross Jeffries)

Jesus, I just realized something.  I always thought I didn’t use or even know that many routines.  I never actually listed them.  I use a lot of motherfucking routines.  I’m impressed.

I guess the reason I didn’t know I used so many Gambits was that I so not have a structure to my game.  I just plow.  Meanwhile I know that most of the Verbal Routines I used early on while escalating Kino while closing the gap.

I’ll explain a few – keeping in mind I know pretty much the beginning from the end but not necessarily the exact order.  I do know key moments though.  Before it was just fluff, getting to know and push pull, and I was practicing Questions into Statements.  Then I know in the first half (I will call it) I used the grounding stuff.

My first memory:
“When I was little I lived in Frankfurt Germany and we stayed in this place called the Hessesher Hof for a while before we moved into an apartment.  I remember being at breakfast one morning and We hadn’t ordered yet.  All I knew is that I wanted Belgian Waffles.  I just totally had this huge craving for em.  You ever get a craving for something? “

Her: yea.

Wants vs. Cravings pattern which was also one I picked out of a video that he made up with a student as an example for training people how to construct patterns.

Then back in:
“So the waiter came over and brought out food and he gave me Belgian waffles, but I never ordered them.  I said to him, ‘How did you know I wanted Belgian Waffles?’  He said, ‘Because that’s what you get every day….’  And the moral of the story is?” and I pointed to her.

Her:  That you like Belgian waffles.
Me:  No.  That’s when I discovered I could remember stuff.  That was my first memory.
I was like, “Wow!  I can remember things!”  (end thread – stack forward)

Soon I was grounding a little about how I’m a bartender, a social guy and different than other men.  This was where I used the “culture shock” sound bite and then “The Breakup and Exes.” routine which is a true story I use in a lot of sets.  When I’m explaining my lifestyle to them, and making myself out to be free spirited and social and a lot of times they ask me questions about my relationships.  In this case she asked, “So what’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had?”

Routine (true story) The Breakup and Exes:
Me:  I dunno, probably a year, but that’s a LOOONG time for me.  I had those a couple times.  They were fun but I’m not gonna string someone along if I know I can’t be what they want me to be.  And they were fun relationships.  I still talk to most of them.  Right now I have a girl that still calls me 4 years later and another one who I still talk to 6 years after we hung out.  We just touch base on the phone from time to time.  It’s because I don’t really think of relationships like a lot of people.  I figure if shits not gonna work out it doesn’t mean anyone did shit wrong or whatever, it just happens.  You share the fun good times and learn stuff together and then whatever happens and you break up.  But it doesn’t have to be weird or angry like most people think.

I’ll give you an example.  One girl I broke up with; the day we broke up this is how it happened.  I took her to lunch in Royal Oak, we chilled and relaxed and had some wine, I bought her this nice choker, we went back to her place and made love…

Her:  And then you broke up…?
Me:  And then we broke up…

I guess I just think differently about shit.  My mother said I got Culture Shock when I was little.  I was back and forth between here and Germany at a very young age so she said I was very different in a good way.  Like I could look at life and see it as an adventure.  I just -go with the flow- I guess.  I mean, what about you…  What are you Passionate about?

So from here I got her talking about passions first then broke into Style’s EV.  I got three answers out of her.  The first answer was her Son, and the second was that she felt that she could show him the world THROUGH HER EYES and the third was Proud (after prompting her to get past her first answer of “Great.” or something).

I never did finish the ending because she asked me, “Why. What do you feel passionate about?  Probably being social.  That’s why you’re a bartender.”

Well, ya.  I do love being social,  but I’m really shy and have trouble meeting new people.  I never know what to say.

Her:  Ya RIGHT!!
Me:  (Grin) No, I’m SERIOUS!!

But then she started giving me shit about going with the flow and how it doesn’t work and isn’t practical in life.  How people who do that can’t be successful or whatever.

Me:  I think you and I are actually agreeing but perhaps we are thinking about what -go with the flow- means differently.

Here, Give me your hand.

Routine (Bubbles – Borrowed from a concept I learned about before PickUp which was from – of all things – A Video Game for the PC.  AD&D Baldur’s Gate.  You could play your characters a certain way and at a certain point in the game it went into this story about how my character lived his life and it was pretty cool because it made total sense to me – so I revived it and use it as a Kino Escalation routine.)

She does and I hold it and draw on it (got the idea from some other PUA – Mehow maybe? but incorporated it into my own routine.) Ok, one might say that life is like a bunch of bubbles (draw bubbles on her palm with your hand) and that they are flowing in a certain direction (trace your fingers to show her the flow, silly!)  Now, there are those who go with the bubbles and do what they are supposed to and what’s expected, and then there are those who go against the bubbles (you are drawing all this btw) because they want to try and do their own thing and that’s what they think it means.  Now that cover’s most people.  But there are a certain few, like maybe 10%, maybe even as little as 1%, who bounce from bubble to bubble going whatever way they want whenever they feel like it.  If they wanna go somewhere else, they can just bounce  from one bubble to the next without getting wrapped up in one direction.  That’s what I mean by go with the flow, but I guess that’s not really going with the flow at all, now is it.  (end thread)

So she agreed but still started giving me shit about how it doesn’t work (but I was kino escalating which was the point.)

So I said, “Does it not work for everybody, or does it not work in your own experience.?  Look at it this way…

Routine (“Learn to love yourself” – I got it from a House track way back before I studied PickUp and memorized it.  I didn‘t have a reason then, but now I do!!  This is a GREAT routine to get a chick to POWERFULLY feel like she‘s an individual who can make her own decisions, as well as instilling in her resistance to the Fatty pulling her away, ASD, Societal programming and all that shit.  PS – Five bucks to the person who can name the track and who it‘s by.  I still don‘t know, even though I have it in two different live sets on my laptop.)

Me:  I wanna do this the way I wanna do it.  I wanna determine my own destiny!  I don’t’ wanna be a mass personality.  I don’t wanna be a One Dimension.  I wanna be ME.  I wanna be Human!

Me:  We dress a certain way, we walk a certain way, we talk a certain way, we create a certain way,  we paint a certain way, we… we make love a certain way.  You know, all of these things we do in  a different… unique… specific way that is personally ours.  And we… decide… that it is time for us to… to take over our own lives.. And do it the way we know we wanna do it… as opposed to having someone else continually… depersonalize us… and tell us… how we’re supposed to do something because they are viewing us through THEIR eyes… not through Our Eyes.

Me:  If they couldn’t see it they could just feel it Naturally.
(end thread – stack forward)

She Enthusiastically agreed.

She ordered food and it had arrived and so during that time I used the TV commercial.

TV Commercial: I saw a commercial on TV that reminds me of this.  I can’t even remember what the hell it was for but the woman is eating with the man (the original sound bite I picked out of RJ teaching on a Video – He didn‘t tell anyone it was a pattern, he just did it.  I find that some of his best stuff is stuff he does but doesn‘t necessarily actively teach.  You gotta kinda pick it up.  His was, ”…the woman looks at the man…) “You know you want something… you can’t resist it any longer… you gotta have it… and the more you try to push it away…  the more you know you need it right… now.”

This girl was a polarity responder.  She was still pretty disagreeable up until  I started saying things like “You really shouldn’t allow yourself to relax and completely open yourself up to this experience, and let the good vibe penetrate deep inside you and fill you up to the point….  Blah blah blah.  OR.  You don’t have to blah blah blah.  I don’t really know what I said verbatim because this stuff, to attempt to kill her resistance, was on the fly. Finally after one particular, “You really shouldn’t… and some on the fly stuff I broke right into, “When you really feel that sense, of an incredible connection with a guy….”

Also, I can’t remember if this was before or after I.C. but I used the fact that she traveled as a segue into, “Isn’t it interesting how everyone is so different and yet in so many ways we’re all the same?…” which is another I.C. pattern.  Actually as I think about it I’m pretty sure “Isn’t it interesting…“ was first and standard I.C. was second because it was like this – after the Standard I.C. I saw that I had hit pay dirt – D.D.B. and enthusiastic response and the Polarity responses stopped.

I knew it was playtime and so it was Kino escalation in the way of first, Snoopy palm reading because she mentioned something about how I had some sort of insight about life or whatever so I was like, here I’ll read your palm, but this is totally just a bullshit kino thing and it’s fun – not serious at all.

Then “Let’s see if we fit.” and I’m sure in in this area there was twice that I did hand throws.

She was done eating and I suggested we leave and go somewhere else and we were gonna.  I was like,  “I gotta use the guys room first so brb.  I got up and as I did my brain was like, “Kiss her dude – at least on the cheek.” so I did and at the same time she said she had to go to the ladies room as well.  So we worked our way through and when I got to the little are near the Restrooms my mind was saying “You have to kiss her now dude! It’s time.” and I have learned that when the brains says shit like, “Time to kiss or Time to Fuck or whatever it IS – but we all know that already.”

So I said, “Comehere.” and she hesitated a little
Her:  What?
Me:  Come HERE – and then we kissed.

(please don’t come at me with shit about bathroom fucking – I have no idea what some guys are all fired up about fucking some girl in a Germy, nasty, smelly, dirty and uncomfortable place like a bathroom for but I have ABSOLUTELY no interest.)

I was in the bathroom and the drummer I saw for the band was in there and I joked with him about when they planned on going on.  It sounded like they were getting ready to start after he smoked.  I said,  You mean cigarettes or….?”

He laughed and responded with, “well… you know.”

So here’s where the night escalated.  The band went on and they were GREAT:  WE ordered another round of drinks instead of leaving.  They were called, The Brothers Groove

Soon I was kino escalating FAST with takeaways.  To her leg, “that’s all you get.” and the back of her neck where she started saying she loved it because she was catlike. I did shitloads of kino with takeaways finally getting to the point where when I was doing takeaways she was saying shit like, “Why did you stop?” or when I was twirling in her hand and took it away she looked at me and opened and closed her hand as if to say ,”WTF.”

Also she, at one point, picked up her coat that was placed between us and moved it and slid in right next to me.

And then soon after one neck deal I pulled away and when she said something, I said, “Say – More please.”

She was like, “moooorrre Pleeeaaassse!!!”

Now I know I missed the Discovery channel pattern part because I did half of it but then she said she hated amusement parks so I cut the thread while asking her what was something she did like, and busting on her saying, “Gokart tracks? Or Puttputt golf?”

Also it got to the point where I was doing Constant Kino even during my takeaways, even if it meant my knee touching her leg or whatever.  The rest of the stuff on the list above was in there I just don’t remember exactly where.

All I know is it was DONE DEAL but I liked the band and the vibe that place was giving off and so did she so we stayed for the first set.   We talked a little about what to do after with suggestions of where we could go.  Instead of talking loud I actually talked Quiet and Leaned in to say it in her ear while nuzzling her or whatever.  Once the Band’s first set was over it was simple.

Me:  So I suppose we could go check out some other places, or we could even go back to my art gallery home and read books from my library.

Her:  (smiling) We can go to your house.

We were here like 10 minutes, enough time for me to light candles and turn on some Portishead, Tricky, Bjork and Similar Sex music.  She laid on my couch.

And already knowing her answer I said, “So…  What do you feel like doing?”

Her with her eyes closed relaxing on my futon:  I want some Cuddle time.

I mean that was it.  Within a few minutes we were completely naked and My head bus buried between her legs and we went from there.  We stopped for a bit only so she could soak it in after screaming OMG! For five minutes straight.  I really think that there is an overlooked secret to orgasms and I try to encourage it in Women I hook up with.  The secret is simple.  When you have one DO NOT MOVE afterwards.  Sit there and let it soak in your head.  It’s like a Buzz but when people move around right after sex the buzz goes away.  So while she was laying there I simply said, Don’t move.  Just chill.  Relax.  Let it soak in.

And as is habit I went to the fridge to look for something to drink like beer or wine.  I was out!!!  After giving a girl an Great Orgasm I always want a drink and This time I had nothing.  SHIT!

So instead we after a bit we just moved to my bedroom.

Afterwards she got dressed and some things that stood out.  She kept making comments about how I was different and instead of biting on them I would continue talking about whatever as if I didn’t even notice them.  The reason was to instill it in her head.  Finally after one comment I ignored she remarked about it by making a face.

I said, “Look.  If I had money for every time people told me that I wouldn’t have to work.  I already told you that earlier.”

Her:  I know, but it’s one thing when you say it, and it’s completely different when I experience it for myself.

One other thing was that we were talking about the sex afterwards and I said, “So would you give it a 10?”
Her:  I mean…  (she paused and I started getting worried for a split second)
Her:  Yea.  I would.  That was one of the best I think I’ve ever had.
(I am NOT bullshitting you.  Learn the skills kids.  I will give you a hint of one thing she absolutely adored.  Me eating her out to match the beat of Portishead songs for starters.  If I didn’t hear this stuff a lot I would never believe it, but I do. All it takes is creativity.)

Finally she was telling me how comfortable she was at my home.  She also told me she was a bit of a Slut when she was growing up but that even so it was all social circle and that, “This is weird.  I don’t do this kinda stuff.”

Me:  Is it weird, or is it just different than what you’re used to experiencing?

Meanwhile she relayed that she was super comfortable around me and once when I told her, “You gotta go!”
Her response was simply, “No…  I’m ok.  I really comfortable here.” as if her being comfortable outweighed me telling her to go.

I was joking afterall but trying to sound serious.

That’s a long one.  She left the same night.  I got a text a bit ago saying,  I had a really good time with you on Friday.

I responded with:  I was just thinking about you.  We still on for tomorrow or would you wanna come over earlier, say tonight?

After a couple more minutes I sent another text to add fuel to the fire:  I think you left a little of your Yummy scent here to haunt me and keep reminding me of you, Jerk! Wink

The end…  (well at least for the purposes of this blog…)

Like I said if anyone wants details on any of this stuff I’ll hook it up.  Meanwhile Comment, Subscribe all that blah blah!

Ohhhh yeahh..  And of course I can teach you guys how to do this.  Check out my page at the top for a little about bootcamps and training.

Cheers!

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The Job Interview at a Starbucks

Another Classic for my Archive of real life Seduction – I was inspired to bring this one back up in honor of The Daily Post at WordPress.com’s Cliffhanger Challenge.  I’m assuming this is a lot different than what most of the people have written about, and probably Taboo enough of a subject to not make it to WordPress’ top of Friday’s list (which I’m late for anyway) or their monthly newsletter, but who knows.  I like to write and some of my old stuff is just too good to let go unnoticed  (just as me I’ll tell you!); especially if you are interested in how Seduction and Pickup arts, or even Speed Seduction works. 😉 You can check out their post challenge by clicking right HERE…   But this post is LONG and informative so I will get to the point instead of rambling on.  I will just say 1 thing.  Whether or not you like this post – comment down bottom and remember to subscribe.

Enjoi.

FR – The Job Interview at a Starbucks
Postby Geese Howard (my old alias) » December 24th, 2008, 2:16 pm

So here’s the deal.  Today I had to go meet a guy about a possibility to work as a bartender at a New Years Eve party.  He picked the Starbucks coffee shop on Mack and Woodward in Downtown Detroit as the meeting spot.  I decided to head out like three hours early so I could meet my mom who wanted to give me something and get her Avon stuff from me since she has volunteered me without my say-so to be the middleman for her Avon lady that lives near me.  Not only that but I decided I could bring my laptop and play BarSim which is a training game for learning new drink recipes.

So there I walk in to the Starbucks and I see a nice comfy couch type chair empty, but I look to see if there’s a outlet near because my laptop is juiced-out.  So I see one but it’s full up from other laptop people and so for like 3 or so minutes I’m standing there looking around just to be sure, kinda looking like a retard.  I spot a table with two chairs and an empty outlet underneath it right across from the chair I want but still I stand there retarded hoping that by some miracle I spot the magic outlet I didn’t see in the first place.

Nothing.

So Finally I relent and decide to sit at the table with wooden chairs with the open outlet, and as I’m setting up The chick at the table in front who I thought was pretty cute when I walked in, starts crane-necking over her shoulder at me, because the outlet happens to be right behind where she’s sitting and I’m busy plugging it in.  I notice it and Kino her shoulder as I say, “Don’t worry, I’m just plugging in my laptop.  I’m not trying to steal from you.”   Cool   “I am eyeballing that magazine you’re reading.  Actually, I might want to steal it.” and she looks and realizes my vibe is cool so she smiles and starts flirting back.

Leave it to the French. http://www.huffingtonpost.fr

SO like, all I know is that she’s getting ready to leave and I just start running my mouth saying whatever – it’s funny because I always Think to myself I don’t have any idea what to say to a chick, but when I’m under the gun my mouth moves and stuff comes out.  The deal is I don’t commit to memory Too Many routines so I will just work on the fly and not have any idea what stage of the interaction I’m in.  Not that that’s good or bad.  I probably would do well to kind of work on a plan but whatever.

Now all I know is we started talking about something and during our conversation she had gotten up and started packing up while I had unpacked and sat down.  For whatever reason I think she asked me something and I said, “I will tell you.  Have a seat.” and she looked surprised but sat down.  As soon as she did I threw out, “But you can’t stay long cuz I got a lot of work to do.” And I kinda said it in my Mock-pimp voice with a smile probably.

So it’s daygame, which IMO is my bread and butter.  Club game is not my strongpoint and yet for whatever reason I feel natural in pretty much any day game environment, on the street or wherever I may find myself.  So this girl is sitting and we just do natural type Vibing where we’re talking about the shit I think the community used to say was a sin to talk about like what she does and what I do and all that shit, but it’s the way I present it that IMO makes it ok.  There’s a lot of fun convo involved.   Other than the Vibing I will actually list the things I consider routines I used.

Oh wait (rewind)… No, I remember now, I had told her she looked like a teacher when she was standing up and she said she used to teach Biology.  And I was like, “That’s so Boring!  So you like to dissect stuff like frogs or whatever.  I have a story about Biology class from when I was in high school.  You wanna hear it?”

Her:  Yea tell me your story!  (said with blatant  mock enthusiasm)
Me:  (I might have busted on her for it, I dunno but then I said) Here have a seat and I’ll tell you.

So she sat down and THAT’s what I talked about but before I went on some tangent (which as you will begin to notice I am apt to do) and every time she reminded me I was off track I busted on her and reminded her that she was a scientist and I was artistic so her linear thinking and my all over the place thinking were completely different.  Which brings me to my Tangents which happen to be the routines I said I was gonna describe above so here they are:

1.  I asked her nationality.  She said she was three different ones, German, something and something else (that’s how much I pay attention – I’m literally Terrible with names too.  But that’s simple.  If a girl has already told me her name and I forgot, when I put in in my phone I say, “How do you spell your name?” and then throw in a little humor about the spelling if it’s too normal or even if it’s not – like c&f style.)  So I use a little routine about growing up in Germany when I was little and say, “Ich Deutchsprechen nicht so gut.” which means something along the lines of , “I don’t speak good German.”  I didn’t go into the whole routine that I use because I asked her about whether she taught high school or college and immediately blasted into how I took French class and she said she knew French too; so I said, “Je parle un peu de Francais.”  I then volunteered that I knew a poem and she wanted to know it.  Off I went into the poem I memorized right from the Player’s Guide by Jacques Prevert that starts with, “Une orange sur la table…”  I love this poem btw, every set where the girl knows French will hear this and I always get a good response.  Halfway through I get the appropriate response of a tiny bit of shock and then when I finish they’re pretty impressed my the romantic finish.

2.  Somehow I seem to find a place for the following routine in about every set I do these days.  It’s my own.  Usually it has to do with me looking good for my age since I’m 35 but most days people seem to think I’m younger (when I’m duded up that is.  If not I look old like every other chode out there my age.)

I’m gonna live to be One-Hundred and Twenty.  One day I’m gonna be like this old guy (sometimes I will say, “…old Chinese guy, even though I’m not Chinese now I will somehow magically be when I’m that old…) with a long white beard (doing the hand motion to show her that I mean like really long – picture like the old kung-fu master from ANY Kung-Fu movie – but not the drunk guy or the beggar, mostly the old guys who are either Buddhist Monks aka “Venerable Abbot“ or some Bastard General of the Ching or, Oh, I got it; think Pai-Mei from either “Fist of the White Lotus” or more currently “Kill Bill”) and I will live like way up in the mountains of Tibet.  I’ll mostly sit around and drink green tea and meditate and there will be incense and candles and Ill have servants.  People will come thousands of miles up treacherous mountain trails with avalanches and all sorts of danger just to see me so they can ask me the meaning of life.  They will say, “Master, what is the meaning of life?” and I will look at them with wisdom (look at her with a wise-serious face) and say… (pause)

“What do you think the meaning of life is?”

And they will be like, “Amazing!  I have never thought of it that way before!”

So if the chick is a sassy pants and says something like, “Well what if they don’t ask you that.  What if they ask you something else like about love or their job or whatever?”

ME:  Then I will look at them and say, “The answer to that question (pause) lies truly within your heart.  You simply must learn to listen to what is says.”
(or you can just add this for fun if she’s into it by saying, “and some may even ask me other questions about their Job or Love-life and…..”  you get the idea)

End Thread.

It’s just a goofy attraction gambit I suppose.

So after my tangents and her couple of attempts to unsuccessfully get me back on track even though she was totally enjoying herself I said, “Ok now I will tell you…  Wait.  What were we talking about?” I had seriously forgotten.

She was like, “I Don’t know (mock frustration)! You were going to tell me about your biology class in high school.

So I started to tell her about how we dissected animals in biology class in high school and asked if she dissected stuff in college classes, she said yes and then complained about how she wishes the Colleges would get their Fish from a market where they were fresh instead of the old and smelly animals they usually got.  I said, “You mean like, ‘Today we are going to dissect Sushi grade salmon.’ ?”

She laughed and I started making fun of her more saying, “Maybe you should get some Sake while your at it.  No I mean all colleges should have Sake in the classroom.” and after a minute we got to my story which was;

“One day we were in Biology class and we were dissecting little baby sharks.  I was kind of a bad kid in school, and not like the bad kid who was always at counseling but I mean like a bored kid so I would make things more fun.  So What happened was I snuck one of the baby sharks out of class and when I rode the bus home later I thought it would be funny to stick the shark under the radiator.  Needless to say they thought me or my friends did it but they never knew for sure.”

Those are the only things of note I remember from the conversation.  I naturally incorporate push pull and that kinda shit during my conversations so I always just assume I used them, when I TRY to use them it just comes of Dicky because I already have a natural tendency to do it so what happens is chicks pretty much HATE me.  Chicks use to think I was mean when I was younger because I used the Push-Push technique.  I only learned half the lesson apparently.

So I found out that she was only in town till Jan 6th so I said, “You seem cool.  I gotta get back to work but we should maybe get together.”  Then we talked a little more and I tangented off the subject on purpose.  Then noticed she was still lingering after she had stood up and I kinda let her on purpose to gauge her interest and finally SHE said the Ross Jeffries line, “So how do you want to go about this?”

ME:  “I’m not really into that whole number thing (Sensei) but I’ll tell you what.  Tonight obviously sucks and there’s the holidays but how about…”

Her:  “Friday…”

ME:  ‘Yea…  I mean It’s a super busy week for me but I could meet up Friday.”

And we went from there to set up the day2.  I got her number as a technicality and then we chatted some more and that was that.  IMO If she’s there its for Sex because her and I both know that She’s only in town for a short time.    Cheesy  Of course when she asked, “Is this you, ###?”  I said yea, just put in there Hot Stud Guy (Sensei).

Meanwhile I just now got a call from HBThaiRestaurant who I’m pretty sure has a boyfriend but went on a day2 with me before the holidays which I did heavy makeouts with but no !close…  Yet.  Fucking GREAT kisser.  Before kissing her was totally not attracted to Asian chicks but now it’s like I’m all about it.  Sexy.  Can’t wait to have my head buried between her legs among other things.

So then not too much later and I was playing BarSim and simultaneously these guys in the coffee shop are all trying to get me Bartending jobs for some reason.  I simply told them I was meeting a guy who wanted me for a Private Party for New years and that I used to work at Asian Village until it closed and that the last 2 places I worked at sucked so I quit and so this one guy is calling his buddy who manages a Bar Louie and another cat is taking my number so he can give it to the place his buddy is at that he happens to be on his way to.

After a bit everyone leaves but me cuz I got a bit to go and so I notice a really well dressed black girl go by and her ass was just like, “HEY, Geese.  Look at me!!  I’m a Nice Big Ass!”  (I like all sorts of things about girls – a HUGE list)  I didn’t open her or didn’t even think about it at first.  What happened was this:  My back has been hurting lately (seems like once every six months)  which means it’s time for a Massage – as a matter of fact I had been on the phone earlier calling to find a Massage therapist but I’ll get into that later.  At this point I was studying and my back was starting to bug me so I stood up and took my right arm and held the shelf next to me on my right and was basically stretching my back by turning.  As I was doing it the cute black girl was walking by and I said, “Hey.  Grab my other arm and push.” and sure enough she did.  And she kept doing it till I stopped her which was, I dunno what you call it, that one word that means she’s doing what I want her to.  So I sit and keep talking to her about shit, “Wow you’re strong.  Are you a wrestler?”

Her:  No.
Me:  Are you a Boxer?
Her:  No. (smiling)
Me:  Are you a UFC Fighter?
Her:  No I’m just naturally strong.

And then I noticed she was lingering.  To test it I kinda hinted that she was on her way to do something but that she seemed fun to talk to.  It was like a choice to give her and she still lingered so I kept plowing (that’s my Method:  The Geese Howard Double-Reppukin Plow Method™ ®)  This set went well too so I said, “You seem cool (the Cage – I think it’s referred to) so we should maybe talk some more sometime after the holidays.

Here’s the thing.  I know it’s just getting a number but in this case it’s like she knows what I’m after.  She probably even suspects it’s her ass.  My X said that I put off ‘the Wolf” even when I’m not trying to.  It’s just natural and I think that it’s a good filter, but was TERRIBLE when I was Mr AFC First Class because I would just walk around with Wolf Vibe and No game to back it up.

So HBFacePlant (think about it) shit-tested me.  “Wait.  How old are you?”

ME: What do you mean?  How old are you?
Her:  20
Me:  Oh.  You’re as old as the last girl I dated.  Well…  I mean she was a couple girls ago but still.
Her:  Why, How old are you?
Me:  17.  I just look a lot older.

Then we talked for a bit and I threw in a couple pauses and yet she stuck around.  I was sitting down and she was still standing there so I commented on it.
Me:  Well you’re still here for some reason.  So It seems like you’re thinking about it.
Her:  I just wanna know how old you are?
Me:  You don’t ask people how old they are!
Her:  What?  Why?
Me:  It’s bad business.  Besides.  No one can tell how old I am.  People give me everything from early 20s to 40.  Why do you like older men?
Her:  Yea but not TOO much older.
Me:  Is that what you think or is that what society and what others expect from you tells you to do? (PS I Love NLP)
Her:  Ooooh!  (she liked it)  Now you’re gonna throw that at me…
Me:  You’re not dealing with some (can’t remember the words I used but something similar to Scrap-Noob, but  in regular people jargon though)

So long story short We exchanged numbers but I didn’t time bridge.  I guess I’ll see where it goes.
So I’m back to my Mixing drinks.  For some reason I can remember how to make a Sangria from scratch and about every classic Martini, Manhattan Rob Roy and shit like a Pink Lady and Grasshopper but I couldn’t remember easy shit.  I put club soda in a Surfer on Acid instead of Pineapple and kept fucking up the Bay Breeze and Sea Breeze and for some reason I kept putting Whiskey in an Irish Coffee instead of Irish Whiskey.  Then I started reading a book and in the book it was talking something about Survival and Replication and some guy who was married then divorced and didn’t feel cool or comfortable because he saw people hugging each other and wanted revenge…  Or something like that.  And then I went to the bathroom, and when I came back out with the key to take back to the counter I saw…

Another Ass!

But this time it was a bit smaller and more shapely and yet attached to a blond girl who’s face I did not see.  However, where I got the key just so happened to be right where she was standing and so I went to put the key back and though she really was not in the way I still managed to kino her arm lightly as I said, “Excuse me, love.”  and put the key down.  Then I returned to my seat.

I really did just want to keep studying and not be bothered with sets.  I promised myself that I would focus on my studies only and not worry about women. I started to reload the Barsim and all the while my brain said, “Did you see that Ass on her?  Her face was cute too.”

And before I knew it I was back up and on my feet and peeking around at the girl suspiciously while she was wondering to herself (probably?) Why is this guy all of a sudden behind me sticking his face in my face and looking at me suspiciously?

Me:  Amy?  Is your name Amy?
Her:  No.  (But she was smiling.)
Me:  Oh.  Where are you from?
Her:  I live right around here.
Me:  Oh ok.  Nevermind.  (then I was leaving – I pretended – I suppose body rocking)
Then
Me:  Wait…  (I smiled a smarmy smile) Were you at a party last Saturday in Ferndale?
Her:  No…  (more smiling – I mean she had to know what I was up to right?)
Me:  OhhhK.  I thought we might have made out at a party.
Her:  You thought?
Me:  Well I was pretty drunk.
Her:  Nooo.  Wasn’t me..  (still smiling)
Me:  Well you would remember if we did because you would be all like, “That was the most AMAZING thing ever!!”

And she laughed.

We chatted for about thirty more seconds in a flirty vibe kinda way and then the line moved.  She stepped up to the end and said, “Well the line is moving this way if you wanna step with me.”

Me;  No.  I’m gonna go sit back down if you wanna chat on your way out.

On purpose.  It’s that whole thing about, why can’t I think of the stupid name of it?  Um  Survival… Replication… AMOG…  Transition…  Duplicity…  Consistency…  Value…  Attention… Attraction…  COMPLIANCE..

That’s the one.  Compliance.

And so back to work I go figuring if she was interested she would do the compliance thing so she could survive on my replicator some day.

And so I figured it would look dumb for a guy to be studying bartending drinks when he’s supposed to already be a great bartender and the truth is I’m rusty but when a guy is throwing a New years party with 600-1000 people coming the last thing he wants to hear is, “I’m rusty.” so I went back to reading about having a girl on both arms would cause other girls to come up to me in a club and say dumb things like “Hi, what’s your name?” or “I don’t like that necklace you’re wearing” or “Excuse me, do you know any cool places to go around here?”  and that if I played my cards right I could have sex with her TONIGHT!!

“Blah, blah, blah…” I hear a female voice talking and I’m not paying attention so I have no idea what’s being said but I look up from my comfy chair and there’s the blond with the nice ass who has stopped by and is talking to me.  To be honest I have no idea how that interaction went specifically because there was a vibe.   That’s all pretty much.  One thing I do remember is her telling me about shit she was going to do or something and I stopped her and said, “Wait.  Are you asking me out on a Date?  I mean I know I’m really attractive and everything but that’s pretty forward for a girl.  I mean unless you were a drunk girl.  I notice that girls always expect guys to do most of the work, but then when you get drunk you’re like, ‘Fuck it!’ and you just get all forward.

I quick closed her but in a social circle way.  I said there’s usually cool stuff me and my friends are doing and that couple of them are promoters and that I could invite her out.  (“Hot Stud Guy” once again – I wasn‘t too sure about the PU101 cats or Lance Mason aka Sensei but I listened to some audio thingies they did and there was some quality shit in it – Value!!  I still think of K-Mart whenever I hear that word:  Value.)

I think her and I both know what’s up but it’s the way I decided to play it.  I used to have crappy phone game but now every time I get on the phone with some chick they are like, “You have a great personality!” or “You give great phone!”  and the funny thing is I have NO idea when it happened.  It just did.

And that brings us to me wanting to drive through a Mother of a Snowstorm to go find some Thai food. I was almost there and my phone rang.  I answered it and this sexy-female voice said Hi, is this Ron?  I was like, “Yea who’s this?”

Her:  This is HBSensualMassage
Me:  Oh yea.  I talked to your friend this morning…

Here’s the deal.  In the morning my back was killing me and I needed a motherfucking massage.  I recently saw an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Jeff sets up Larry with and appointment for a massage with a chick whom Jeff says is “Really Good!”  Larry goes and get’s the massage and the chick asks him if her would like her to finish him off.  He’s retarded, #1 and #2 he’s dazed out from the massage and #3 he’s like AFC style Married and yet he says “Yes” not knowing what that means.  She starts giving him a hand job and he’s into it for a split second but then reality hit him and he freaks out.  For the rest of the episode he’s all worried he cheated on his wife and that she’ll find out.

So I decided that if I’m going to pay for a massage it would be pretty cool to get one with a happy ending just to see WTF.  I’ve never paid for sex in my life but this technically would be a massage.  I figured if the price was the same as a normal massage I totally would.

Her:  My Friend?
Me:  Yea on the phone…  Oh wait I called a few different places so maybe you’re someone else.  So I guess I was looking for a massage and someone told me that the people running Ads in Real Detroit were like massages but then I would get the happy ending.  I mean, What’s the deal?

She explained it to me and got all naughty right away but I mean – come-on, I knew she was figuring I’m like the average Scrap-Noob that calls in and has to pay for female attention.  She’s like,  “I give you a full body massage and you can play with my boobie and I’m super attractive and BLAH BLAH BLAH and I cut her off.  Look, I have girls I can do that with, but the main thing I want is to know if you can give a good massage.  My back is killing me.  How much do you charge for all that?

Her:  $200
Me:  $200!?  You better have like Golden hands or something!  You’re shit better be AMAZING.
Her:  Ya I am.  Blah Blah Blah – Sales Pitch Bullshit
Me:  Look!  Here’s the deal.  You ever watch Curb Your Enthusiasm?
Her:  What?
Me :  (repeat)
Her:  No?…
Me:  You ever hear of it?
Her:  No…
Me:  Do you have cable television?
Her:  Yea!
Me:  Ok where there’s this station on Cable but you might not have heard of it because it’s kind of a small station.  You ever heard of HBO?

So I go on to explain about the episode and it confused her because she was like, “Well I don’t have to do anything you don’t want me to do!”

I told her I didn’t care what she did but more important was if she could give me a good massage.  I told her again I had girls who could do the other stuff so I wasn’t too worried.

She said, “Well why don’t you have them give you a massage?”

I’m said, “Look!  I need a Pro!  These girls, the best I can get them to do is walk on my back because they don’t know what they’re doing.  That works for a little while but I need a pro that knows what they’re doing!

So I can’t remember exactly what I said then but all I know is we went off topic and it was a lot of me being CockyFunny or whatever and her starting to get more chatty.  We kinda stayed on the topic but it was more, I dunno – Vibey.

She started like saying, “I can drop the price to maybe $150 because you seem really cool and trust me, I make about $1500 a week and I just got two calls while I was talking to you.”

Me:  OOOOH!!!  (mocking her)  I mean it sounds really fun and everything but Jesus!  $200 is pretty fucking steep.  I can get a regular massage for like $60.

Her:  Yes you can.  (IOD)
Me:  Good Answer.

She laughed and I said, “Ok well here’s the deal.  I totally need a massage so MAYBE I’ll give you a call after the holidays and we’ll see what’s up.”

Her: OK well I can drop the price to $100 for you.
Me:  Yea I know but I still have to wait till after the holidays so I’ll see what’s up then.  I’ll call you.
Her:  So I’ll hear from you after Christmas?
Me:  After newyears MAYBE.
Her:  Ok…  (It sounded pouty)
Me:  You sound sad.
Her:  I AM.  You sound really Cute and Now you’re gonna go and I wont hear from you again.
Me:  (LOL) That’s funny.  OK  I’ll ALMOST-Promise to call you after the new-year.  Do you want me to give you an Almost Promise?
Her:  Yes
Me:  Ok.  I Almost-Promise to call you after Newyears.

Then she started rambling about how she thought I seemed really cool and cute and this went on for a couple minutes and then I said, “I’ll tell you what.  Do you go out?”

Her:  Yea.
Me:  Like you ever been to MonJinLau or D’Amato’s
Her:  I like to go out.
Me:  Well I’ll tell you what.  Maybe I’ll call you and you can come chill with me and a few friends.
Her:  I’d LOVE to come have a drink with you.
Me:  Well I mean you can just come out and Chill, like a friends type thing.
Her:  Yea,  I can come out and have a couple drinks with you!
Me:  You make it sound like a Date!  We’re not going on a Date.

She laughed and then I got another call from a girl who I’m considering having sex with even though she’s a bigger girl and I’m not attracted to bigger girls but this one is FUCKING CUTE.  I mean she has such a pretty face it’s Weird and her personality is super cool and she has Huge Boobs but again.  She’s a bigger girl.  I’m not into that shit.  Who knows.

So I said I had to take the call and she was like, “Wait!  What’s your name?  and I told her.”

I sent out a text tonight to the four girls I met today that said, “Kickass meeting you today.  Have a fun holiday”  She was the Second one to respond behind the black girl.

I am well aware she could be trying to game me as I game her, not to mention that I have not even seen her yet.  But that’s part of the fun.  Who hunts the hunter?

I’ll update this accordingly as events unfold.  Obviously it’s time to see how the transitioning from #close to !close will turn out.

Then a few days later…

Postby Geese Howard » December 28th, 2008, 4:34 pm

It’s 7:17 and I had a gnawing feeling that this chick, We’ll call her HBUruguay because she lives there and is visiting some mystery people for the holidays, was gonna flake.  Everytime though I would force-visualise her showing up to train my brain to expect in instead of focusing on the negative.  Here it was almost 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet and she still hadn’t arrived.  No call no text…  Nothing.  Yet here I was still waiting for her to arrive…

David Bowie the Hobo Slayer – Hilarious Amateur Web Comic Deluxe

David Bowie the Hobo Slayer

This is a good excuse for me to try out the “Publish Link” option on WordPress.  That’s so I know what to expect and how I can use it in the future.

HOWEVER!

That being said, this link is to a Hilarious Web Comic known as David Bowie the Hobo Slayer.  If you have no idea what I’m talking about, or are already offended by reading the title, good!  Go read the comic.  It’s funny, childish, the art is crappy-awesome and you can tell the author, who goes by the moniker The Nonsequitaur, spends a lot of time on these.

I can totally appreciate this, because when I was little, like in 7th grade I started doing a comic, just for my friends and I to read called, “Superdope”.  Basically it was a goofy, funny, hilarious comic where the hero, Superdope, got powers to fight crime by doing things like smoking a joint, or snorting cocaine or basically, doing some sort of drug.  Maybe this sounds a little Non-PC for a kid to be writing about in 7th grade, but it was meant to be funny and ridiculous, much like David Bowie the Hobo Slayer is.

The thing is, my friends started writing their own comics and we would share them.  That is until the evil Villainess, Sister Thomas Mary confiscated an unfinished episode from me, read it in a boomingly unpleasant voice to embarrass me in front of the entire class, and then called my parents to try and have me expelled from school.

Needless to day my parents even sided with me, but it sort of put a dampener on my comic days because I quickly left that school and went to a public school where I didn’t have many friends to share my comics with.

Who knows, if I was encouraged vs discouraged, I might have become another Stan Lee…

But fuck all that sad shit.  This guy is the next generation of goofy, amateur comic writing.  So GO NOW and check out his site.

I said NOW!!!

David Bowie the Hobo Slayer - Web Comic

Click Me!